blaze262

blaze262

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Reviews
A Sinner's Eden

Amazing story, backstory is a little shaky

Says my entire opinion in the title.  The characters, story, and style are all finely tuned and immersive, bringing the world to life.

Only thing I don't like is the backstory.  The interlude hints at something more cosmic that I don't think mesh well with the current flow of the story.

Also, the closest correlation I could think of where people are banished to a foreign land is when England banished their criminals to Australia.  England didn't provide them with support, if they died there, they died.  The nanomachines seem a bit too much support for people they are banishing.

Anyways, those are just my opinions on the story so far, it is still an amazing and worthwhile read, hoping for more to come.


I Summoned a Hero from Another World to be my Girlfriend

So, the story is nice, but there's a lot of flaws with the MC.

1. In chapter 1, it was stated that he would've gotten a 4.0 GPA if not for PE, but in his interactions with Kallie, he doesn't know Geography, Chemistry, nor any Physics concepts and could not explain them.

2. For a person who've watched anime, he's very unimaginative with his new found powers.  He doesn't push the boundries of what he may be capable of and relies on others to give him instructions on what to do.  His first instinct being to summon someone to teach him what to do without thinking of the consequences.

3. His character is also weak, even after getting powers, he's afraid of his bullies and relies on Kallie to handle the mess for him.


I Was a Teenage Necromancer

An amazing story.  I'm glad for RR's new recommended section as I don't think I would've found this, especially since it's been completed over 2 years ago.  This is a great young adult, coming of age fantasy story.

It's very light hearted, but each character buckles down and flows with the story as it progresses.  Which is both a good and bad point for the style.  A little more drama and comedy on both ends, would've highlighted the characters personality and growth.

The story is amazing, from the start to finish.

For grammar, I suggest going back and reading it, minor flaws here and there, but jarring on such a masterpiece that every mistake is assentuated.

I love your characters, all of them are unique and varied, but I again wish there was a little more character growth.


The Secret Apocalypse

A very nice short story.  Book 1 complete at chapter 38.  It's action packed and takes you from zero to a hundred before you know what bit you ;D.

The genre is a bit overdone, but the author narrarates their story very well from the MC's point of view.  You won't 'hear' the thoughts of each character, only the MC's, but the actions each of the characters present will tell you more about them than what a monolouge inside the MC's head could ever do.

Overall, nicely done, gets a 4/5 stars because a few scenarios feel like the characters had a little too much plot armor versus them actively doing something to ensure their survival.  Also, no big, dramatic climax at the end.


Weight of Worlds

So I get that the author is trying to make the MC start out as nothing special, but then becomes great with effort and time.  The only problem is that most authors have trouble developing the story, as this one is experiencing.  From the first 10 chapters so far, I haven't seen the MC developing at all, in either personality or strength, just more inferiority complexes and how his friends are more talented than him.


The Grand Game

Relies on “The System” too much

The story isn't bad, but the entire book relies on the game symantics too much. Every chapter is essentially about leveling up skills or obtaining new ones.

 

I would say try experiment with cutting the entire "system" portion out of the story keeping only the class and marks and see how you'll do.


Terror Infinity Remake

The story's decent overall, characters differ from one another.  In terms of believability, I'll say it passes, but the MC going from NEET to daredevil seems a bit non-believable.

Lots of inconsistencies so far, one example where Nick was thinking to himself details of his past, only for more of his past to be revealed that invalidates his own thoughts in a previous chapter.

Scenes skip around without warning as well leaving me to think a different character was saying something, when the scene had completely changed and you are now away from a fighting scene and with another group.

Finally, lots and lots of grammatical errors. One example is "threat" I believe the author was trying to say 'treat' added an extra 'h' there for some reason, a few other words that I can't name off the top of my head as well.

Overall, decent for a first draft.

 

Modified 7/19/21 - Story isn't really moving anywhere, reducing stars to 1.


The God in the Grove

Not really a god, just a naïve boy

Not a bad novel.  The premises and foreshadowing is good and the magic concept so far is unique.  The characters though, needs work.  Main characters are naive while villains are cynical.  Had hoped that the author would've developed the characters more by now, or at least moved the story along.


Ria of Shadewood

This story honestly surprised me; came in expecting an adventure, but it's more of a fantasy slice of life (I probably should've looked at the tags first...).  Anyways, this novel is a slow burn, nothing truely amazing happens throughout the book, but the human interactions and drama draws you into the story before you know it.

So, onto the four scores:

Style: The story has a very nice flow and builds the world slowly without dumping much onto you.  Honestly, you won't know much about the world until roughly the 20th chapter.  The mechanics of the world and magic isn't clearly defined either, but I personally like it that way.  The other way usually leads to info dumps that drag the story down.

Story:  Needs a little work.  Like I said earlier, a slow burn and nothing spectacular happens throughout the book.  Thought about reading something else quite a few times up to chapter 10.  Also have a problem with believing in Jeni's inheritance, with the amount of things she was left behind with, to be specific.  It would've indicated very powerful grandparents even if they were in decline and living in a village, they would've left enough things to protect their family, like magical traps, or such to let at least Jeni hide.

Grammar:  Didn't see any grammatical errors until today on chapter 68, so I'm going to assume the author reads reviews and edits the errors out, so giving 5 stars.

Character:  So I really like the characters.  Each is unique and enjoyable.  There were times when I had to reread a few parts because the characters didn't act like what we would do if our families were kidnapped, but then I thought, this is medival times and a magical world to boot.  Our morals and the characters differring is probably accurate.  I would've liked to see more of Amilee or at least drama that happened because of her though.

A solid 3.5 star overall from me with story content needing work on, but the pacing is fantastic.


Seaborn

Story gets stuck in scenarios

When I first read this story, over a year ago, I thought I was amazing, and had given it a 5 star.  It was one of the only litRPG storys I would've recommended at the time.  But then after reviewing it during the hiatus, I found that the story got stuck right around chapter 14.  From ther until chapter 32, nothing really happens, no character development or story progression.  Then the rush before the hiatus going to chapter 38, and finally, something happens, but this gives it a taste like a poorly executed TV series where nothing really happens until the last episode.

After the hiatus, I still had high hopes for the once great story that made it to the top 3 stories of all time on RR.  From chapters 38 to 50 so far, the story is again stuck where things are happening, but a lot of it could be cut out and the story to move along.

My advice for the author would be to look back on the beginnings of his story and see how it flowed.  Something meaningful happened in each of those chapters and the story progressed.  I would rather see the author do revisions than new chapters at this point in time.