So, to start, I enjoyed the story a lot. It begins well, has interesting characters, and good world building. Not many grammar or spelling issues, so a very good fare here on RR. However once you start getting into the story, the mc and his party go on a super long quest, that culminates in a fight that lasts about 10 chapters. (I didn't actually count them, it could be more or less.)
If I cut a half star for every chapter of this neverending fight, the story would be getting close to .5. that would not be fair though. Neverending fight aside, it's a well written, badly paced story with an interesting world. Still, the pacing has caused me to lose much of my interest. Am gonna have to rate it a 3.
Good enough to look at, but badly in need of a rewrite, and half the fight could be cut for time.
I enjoyed the story at first. It felt fresh, like a new take on the genre, though it's been done before. I generally like the world weary seen it all before mc. I enjoyed him acting as a kid, something he doubtlessly has down.
The grammar and storytelling likewise were great. However when he went to the new world, things took a turn. Finally at the latest interlude I realized, I had lost interest in the story. It just kept going on, with pointless verbosity. I suddenly realized, the story really isn't going anywhere, and I was bored. That should sum up everything right there.
Beginning was good, but then it took a turn.
So, I had a fairly well written review of this story, which I posted. It went over why I did not care for the story, without going into too much depth. However, my review was deleted. I won't bother going into the whys. Other then to say, it was not trolling.
Rather then going over everything, and rewriting, and reposting my review to fit the narrow constraints I'm apparently allowed to dislike a story over, I feel I'd rather simply restate. There are some aspects of the story I did not enjoy at all. However I also have to admit, that despite my dislike of the story itself, its rather well written, which is why I gave it a 2 instead of a 1.
I read the first couple chapters, initially with some hope for a time travel story. We definitely got it. But the author didn't tell us, the time jumps were going both ways.
Start with the time jump to the past. Jump forward a couple weeks, then a couple months, no explaination, barely any details about whats happening, or why its happening. Its almost like diary entries with some action detail thrown in for fun. Its not a fun story. 6 chapters in, and I am already confused about who is who, and why I should care about any of the characters.
I very much enjoyed this story. It really is right up my alley. However as I was reading it, I had some issues that really made me wonder what kind of future this is. Things that are never really addressed.
The first problem is, that Elcy, and other battleships, go into battle with a captain, command staff, and lots of crew. But none of them seem needed. Apart from the Captain perhaps, to give orders and direction, and perhaps some command staff to help, none of the crew seem needful. They're not running the engine rooms, Elcy is. They're not running the guns, Elcy is. Whenever damage occurs, she has her bots start fixing it. Again, why is the crew even there?
Next, captains. People seem awfully fragile in this universe. Captains fall apart at the first whiff of battle. Given that Humanity has been at war for hundreds of years, and can edit memories at will, you would think they might manage to develop some psychiatric techniques to screen for who can handle command. I mean we do it in the US all the time, have done for hundreds of years, but apparently they forgot this lesson, because all the captains seem to fall apart at the first hint of danger, or stress.
Having pointed out these problems, I also have to acknowledge, that these are not central to the story. A story which is about Elcy the battleship, her life after, and her return to duty from retirement. With frequent flashbacks of her time as a ship. Its a fun story, with mystery, and some minimal character development. It could definitely have been done better, but regardless, it was a fun read, with an interesting MC.
I'm leaving a review here not because I've read the story and it's great. I haven't, so I don't know. Rather I'm leaving a review in appreciation for the author specifically adding a lgbt warning. I am not a fan of gay fiction, so I really appreciate when an author goes out of their way to provide warnings. Just wish RR would finally get around to adding the gay tag.
Thanks again. Good luck with the story.
Ok, the story does not deserve the 5 stars I gave it. I gave it that score because of how much I enjoyed the story.
There are minor issues, and one main issue. The minor ones are things like how mary-sue many characters are. Marrianne being the biggest problem there. As much as I loved her. A woman finds a non communicative child, takes her in and cares for her at significant expense... Seems too good to be true. That said it furthered the plot, and was fun, so meh.
The biggest issue though was the detailed stream of consciousness experiments the mc got up to. While I enjoyed it. By any objective measure, it detracts from the story. There should have been more montages, and less detail. That said, bad storytelling aside, I enjoyed it.
Overall, this is a long enjoyable ride, that occasionally gets a bit bogged down with details.
It's a fun, unique take on cultivation from a different point of view. That's the good. The bad is short chapters and an uninteresting mc.
The short chapters give s the story a feeling that it lacks depth. The uninspiring mc simply makes me bored, despite the interesting premise.
Overall, it could be better, but still is probably worth reading, just for the different take.
The story starts slow, then almost out of nowhere, just as you are becomming invested in the story jumps from slow characterization, and world building, to potentially overthrowing a country. With the MC being directly involved in the fight to overthrow a country, and world powers. Non stop fights and action. Additionally there are constant pov shifts, so we can see the antagonists actions.
After around 25 chapters or so, I found myself getting bored. I don't have any further interest. Overall its fairly well written. With regards to grammar and spelling. But the poor story choices, and lack of characterization, caused me to lose interest in the MC.
Some suggestions for the author, seriously, slow down your story. Get rid of most of the pov shifts, and try for slow buildups. Not this sudden jump to overthrowing the kingdom.
Its a little slow at times. But this is a fun, interesting story. Nothing other stories haven't used of course. But the mix of VR, and RL is very well done. I find myself rooting for Kelly and Derek. And of course for the MC, and his new druggie friend.
Who knew playing a game could save the world!