Aspect of the Beast

Sword and Socery. But more Sword. And Beasts

This is story about a guy who died but got pulled back into a new world, and a new body. It is a story that we have all heard before, but it is a story told well. The world is captivating and dangerous, with even the most docile beasts capable of killing. If you like a story of survival against the odds, if you like great action and adventure, and if you like beautiful rich worlds, then this is a story for you.

New Legends: A New Chapter in an Old Book

The dialogue is crisp and to the point, and the windows into your character's thoughts using italics is also a very nice touch. O

verall, I think you have a good sense of storytelling and it shows - each chapter leads on seamlessly to the next, and there is a good ebb and flow of dramatic tension in your writing.

The Winds of Fate B1 - The Blood of Kings

The world is wonderfully crafted. All the details makes the reader feel like they are in an actual place and not just a fictional one. The exposition strikes just the right balance, there is enough context for it to be meaningful, and not so much that it bogs down the story. The descriptions and the imagery really stand out, one can feel the air/the cold as if they were there.

The story flows well, and I find myself racing through the chapter.

10/10 would recommend.



Ready Player One meets Sword Art Online

The writing flows well. The action scenes are the highlight of this piece - they are crisp, quick, and most of all entertaining.

My only gripe, if any, would be I want to know more about the story, and that I want to know more about the characters, which is, in and of itself, an indication of good writing.

The Saga of the Undone One

Great story.

This by far one of the better fictions that I have read here. The descriptions are immersive, the characters are believable, and the MC is sympathetic.

The prose is crisp, and the story flows. It just flows. It one where you can pick up and read it all in one sitting.

10/10 would recommend.


Stein's gate meets Re:Zero

New twist on an old trope. 

There are some minor issues with grammar but nothing too jarring.

My only gripe is that the story doesn't seem to evolve naturally, one thing happens in quick sucession to another. First we get the time travel, then the fish, then riley is a werewolf, then etc. There are alot of elements here, and before I can come to terms with one, I'm faced with another.

My suggestion would be to unify them in some way - one coincidence is fine, you can probably push for two, but I feel that right now, it takes a few too many leaps of logic for the reader to suspend their disbelief, especially early on. An alternative could be to delay the other aspects of it?


Dive Deep

I like the concept. The way you have gone about it is pretty smart. We are immediately thrust into the drama of the quest to ressurect your friend. That for me, is why I want to read the next line - I want to know how you are going to save him.

To that end, the other characters seem like bit players, but that may be because I've only read 2 chapters of it.

This is simply an opinion and probably a matter of personal preference - I found that some of the sentences have a tendency to be too long and fragmented. Eg "The immediate feeling that every ounce of blood just rushed out of me, caused me to sway a bit, but I fought it down, knowing that If I were to save him, I'd need to focus. " - You could split this into two maybe? 

On a side note, "susurrus" is one of my favorite words so you get points for that in my book :)