Elliot Moors

Elliot Moors

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Fictions
Reviews
Origin of Chaos (Rise of Anarchy Book 1)

This review applies up to chapter 13.

STYLE - ROOQ has a clear voice for this story that suits the main character. It feels entrenched in the complex magic system and mythology, while at the same time remaining grounded in reality through the dialogue and descriptions of parts of everyday life. The only detriment I noticed was some awkward phrasing in places. 

STORY - Nyx's story is primal, simple, and engrossing. His quest for revenge and method of getting there makes you want to root for him, even though his methods are sometimes extreme. I've enjoyed the build-up as Nyx expands his power.

CHARACTER - Nyx is a good character. He's brutal, he's efficient, he's uncharismatic to the point of comedy. I like the switch-around where the main character is more of a mentor to the side characters. He knows what's going on, and doesn't need some wise old man to show him the way. My only complaints are that some of the side characters feel a little bland, and there is a tendency for characters to over-praise what Nyx does (it makes sense in the context of the story, it just gets a little dull reading people talk about how cool and strong the main character is).

GRAMMAR - Not much to note. It's good, for the most part. The only aspect that could be improved is the punctuation–ROOQ has a tendency to use commas where full stops would be more appropriate, and during dialogue, commas are sometimes missing.

OVERALL - A definite recommend. A driven main character, dynamic action scenes and a simple magic system with a lot of depth carry this story. I look forward to seeing where the story is headed. I hope the side characters will become more useful further along the story. Good job! 


Re: Dungeon Conqueror

STYLE - The author has a clear voice that is easy to read. While there are some aspects that could be tightened up, reading through this story doesn't offer many obstacles and in most places it is easy to understand the author's intent.

GRAMMAR - Not much to note here. Apart from a few errors, the grammar is perfectly satisfactory throughout, at least for my reading experience. Another pass of editing would always be beneficial, but I don't think it's needed for most people's tastes. 

STORY - If you've read any LitRPG at all, you'll feel right at home. That being said, the author has done an impressive amount of worldbuilding to bring this story together, which is commendable, and it is often shown off through the status screens interspersed throughout.

CHARACTERS - This is the weakest part of the story for me, personally. So far I haven't connected very deeply with any of the main characters, although that may change as more chapters are added. I would very much like to see them fleshed out further with clear personality traits so that we as readers are more pulled into the experience. That being said, the characters are absolutely serviceable, and there are a few nice character moments I can think of off the top of my head.

OVERALL - The author has begun to deliver an enjoyable story that readers of the LitRPG genre will likely enjoy. Conventional aspects are blended with some unique ones, and an impressive level of worldbuilding helps the setting feel more engrossing. While the characters could stand to be improved in my opinion, they don't stand in the way of the story and they get the job done.

Good work, author! Keep 'em coming! 


Growing Strong

Power fantasy with a fun twist.

STYLE - The author has a simple, clear and readable voice. The reading experience is improved with the clever use of status screens, which makes the story feel a bit more immersive. The story dips into third person omniscient at points, and there is a tendency of explaining a lot to the reader when it's not explicitly necessary. Overall, quite good.

GRAMMAR - Not much to comment here. The grammar is good and the story seems well proofread. I picked up on a few errors, but not many at all, and fewer than what is expected with a web serial like this, where the expectation of quality assurance is somewhat lower.

STORY - Up to chapter 14, it seems like a classic power fantasy. Not much beyond that, but nothing wrong with it. I will be eager to see what future chapters hold.

 

CHARACTER - The weakest part of the story, I find. Ian isn't a particularly charismatic lead, and while he's described as hard-working and diligent I thought he was handed a lot of his advantages on a silver platter. He makes the jump from useless to overpowered fairly quickly which is a bit jarring, also, but for this type of power fantasy, he is serviceable for sure.

OVERALL - A well-crafted story with a lot of work put into it. The author seems to have a diligent upload schedule and a high level of editing, which is commendable. The story's weaknesses in my mind are its weak protagonist, an over-reliance on third-person omniscient and a startlingly quick power jump. Its strengths are the clear voice of the author, the quick pace at which the story flows, and certain unique aspects of clever story-telling such as the status screens. The main character's particular class is also quite interesting, as it is not standard fare for LitRPG. 


Touch

Interesting premise

I enjoyed the story overall. It was definitely a slow start, but the later chapters were more intriguing once the plot got rolling. I like the author's exploration of superpowers in ordinary people, and a lot of the minor details about the inner workings of the powers made my nerdy side giddy. I like Tasha so far. I think she's a well fleshed-out character with fun dialogue and a lot of agency. The rest I don't connect with so much. It seems like a lot of them mill around without much direction to them. Some of the prose was a bit hard to read. Especially the fight scenes made my head spin. I'd say it's still pretty good in terms of web fiction, I've seen far worse out there. Some of the dialogue made me wince, but there were some really sweet lines in there, also. Overall, good job. Thanks for a nice read, Rhythm. I'll be looking to pick this back up once you've updated with a few more chapters.