So... solid concept that I feel could be lots of fun to read about. But I'm scratching my head at chapter 7 and asking... who, what, when, why?! I lose track of who's who, what are people doing, the function and significance of certain actions and items and the whole
Shang's thoughts: Interesting.
Shang: I'll be taking that!
It's sort of like a script (not a bad thing)? But with no details as to what the surroundings and charaters look like
it's super dialogue heavy. The story sort of drops you into a world expecting you to know what's up because it's based off an anime, novel or whatever.
It's cool and all but it makes it tough to get into when a bunch of charaters pop up and then you're at a loss as to why you should care. Either lengthen the chapters by making the MC go over what he remembers about the plot and describing the surroundings/charcters or add something into the Authors Notes like a list of names and a short description of each person.
The story isn't unreadable, it is however hard to digest. Read the first two chapters to get a feel for the novel, also I imagine less of this review will apply to those who know the setting in which the MC travels to. Second to last, no harem please.
I hope this is constructive and helpful to whoever reads this.