TheDarkMist

TheDarkMist

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The Perfect Run

I'll start out with the characters because I feel that this story lucks any good quality for them to be good.

The characters really only have a few quakes to distinct them from any of the other characters and most of the time this just makes them feel really hollow and kinda unrealistic. Especially when they interact with the MC right from the get-go they all just swarm him with quite unrealistic attention and the actions that follow.

For example ''Wyvern'' Mets our MC for the first time and the way this plays out is just unreal! ''Wyvern'' Long story short our lovely lady invites him to their super fun club team and says she will be on the lookout for our MC BFF. Now all while the MC is mostly naked. And described our MC as Deranged and has a reputation for collateral damage. Then she leaves.

To keep it short again basically, our MC gets invited to a different group and it plays out just as weird in the next chapter following that. 

What I'm trying to say is that characters can be extremely unrealistic when it comes to our MC sometimes and this is all within the first couple of chapters and it plays on for the entirety of the story that I have read.

The story was was interesting enough to keep me going but the characters definitely hold this one back in some parts, I really like the save point parts but they can only go so far but I definitely like the concept that you were going for.

The general feeling of the story was alright definitely wasn't bad! But sometimes the way the MC speaks and his choice of words and literary sometimes can be noxious and generally unpleasant.

I would recommend toning back on his way with words but that could just be me!

Now I'm definitely not the best at grammar! So if I see something that's not quite right I generally don't make a point of it because you as the author have to write a lot to keep the fans happy! But I did see a few in there just sentence not quite clicking into place at times but could be just the way you have written it. Besides that really not that bad.

Really the only thing that's holding this back for me is really the characters for me. Rubs me the wrong way you know.

It has its Moments!

 


Frozen Armies

This story is excellent in some parts of it manly the Grammar and the world-building are great as you have definitely improved since A Good Man but this story suffers from having too many POVs and not in a good way.

Now don't get me wrong having quite a few POVs is not a bad thing but you just change the POVs too often in a single chapter. 

Now I can understand why you may have to do this at the start of the story so I can only hope that in the later chapters you focus on a single POV in some chapters.

It doesn't have to be a lot so maybe two or three chapters in a row of a single POV? Not saying you haven't done it but you just need more.  3/5 - 4/5 Overall ill be on the lookout for this one


One Look to Rule the Heavens

The Characters can feel one dimension with no personality some of the time. The MC can by just absolutely stupid at times in the story, the grammar is better than some of the stories I have read defiantly not the best but it is ok. The Style I just do not like, just the way you have everything played out, in general, is bad. The story feels like it has no plot most of the time and just feels like you make it up on the go without any idie of what's coming next. So to end the review will give it a 3 to a 2.5, not the best but its ok


Empire of Souls

its good but it's not great I don't know why all the reviews have given are all 5 to 4 the story starts slow too fucking slow it is like waiting for a 90-year-old to walk across the sidewalk too fucking slow for anyone to like the style is simple, not bad but it is not good either the grammar is definitely up there the grammar is all good. Characters I don't know what to say about them good or bad? its hard to say but ill give them a 6.5/10 I also feel the description is a bit misleading


In the Naruto world (1)

Ok first off I would like to say that it's good and I recommend it but

The story is not the best but it is fun to read

The characters can fill one dimension sometimes *Sometimes* not all time (I think one dimension is the word I'm looking for)

The Grammar is ok and style is good

now I will just say that I will be dropping this not because its bad but because of the HAREM that is coming now as of Chapter 15 the only reason I started to read this is because there was no HAREM tag but the author did a poll and the HAREM win which is sad because I don't like HAREM but hey what can I do :{


An NPC's Path: The Dead Rogue by Pavel Kornev

The Style needs some work and story is not the best sometimes the characters are mostly interesting.

The grammar is at a spot the average reader won't be able to spot too many mistakes it's mostly good.

 


Demon's Journey

GREAT STORY GET'S BAD AROUND (CH. 200)

The Style was great same with grammar Story was great at the start but it got mediocre at around 200 Some characters just annoy you all way around but, most are great. So to end the review I would read it to around 200 but give it a try after 200 to see if you like it


Impractical Magic

Its good but the mc can be too much of a baby girl sometimes and its hard to think the mc is a guy sometimes

So a 3.5 to a 4 cant say that it is a 4 but idk if it's a 3.5 either so just give it a try I guess


The Titanic Fanatic

I like it so far and I would recommend it and would like to see more, but, I can't give you a proper review until you have more chapters just don't have enough chapters to give you a proper review for this kind of story but, I would like to see more.


Fortuitous Mage

is Virtual Reality stuff Good now?

Was not a big fan of Virtual Reality LitRPG because at some point in the story they become cliche and predictable some don't but most do, some overuse story time just so the mc can get a power-up so he can battle it out with antagonist and win or maybe do some trial for him to overcome or maybe some Arena/Battle Ark. You can't find that in this story so far but I don't see it going there at all just because the way it is setup and presented form the start. Anyway to the review

The Style is great no problems there some with the Grammar, the Character Score for me is spot on so far the characters are some of the best for me at least and the story is great so far, so to end the review I'll recommend Fortuitous Mage even if you're not a big fan of Virtual Reality LitRPG because I don't like them either but this one is an exemption for me so ill recommend Fortuitous Mage to you even if you don't like Virtual Reality LitRPG. 

Is exemption the word I'm looking for right now??? (And Yes This Is Some Good Virtual Reality Stuff)