TLDR: I like it. If you are interested, read it. At least until c11part2. Then decide for your self. It does handel some quite heavy topics.
I felt that this story has a way better take on getting transported to a new world than most isekai/LitRPG stories here on RR. It still uses the main tropes of the genre, but manages to handle them quite well, mostly with good pacing.
Its greatest problem is that the worldbuilding and build up of the story requires the reader to get this far for things to make sense, both in terms of the society and individual characters we encounter.
The MC arrives in the world after a racial based conflict that dwarfs WW2 in scale of sensless destruction, has left the world broken.
He has to first survive the wilds, then as he find civilisation has to face the deep seated hatered left behind by the humans, who supposedly started this world shattering war.
As far as I am concerned every (or almost every) behaviour in this story is well established, while also incorporating the effect of the system present in this world. Logical? No. But can you show me a group of people that act logical after or during a major crisis?
And that is without the balancing or inhibiting effects of the system.
Considering the examples of racial hatered displayed during and after WW2 by every major force, (Germans, Russians, the Japanese, or even the US and the other allied forces) it is fair to say, that the reactions to our MC is even expected.
I am interested to see how this story continue.
So much was promised, that I will have to read this, and keep on reading it.
As of yet the 5stars are for: the blurb, the cover and the info on how many and how long chapters can we expect
- the style of the blurb is aleady engaging
- what is promised would be fantastic
- the cover looks nice
- consistency is good
- and to encourage the writer to keep at it
I will totally rewrite this review as I get on with the story.
I have mixed feelings for the story right now, but very high hopes if it keeps improving:
The world so far is interesting enough and probably will be expanding as the story goes on.
We meet the MC at a turning point in his life, where he already experienced enough to become a competent captain, and has a backgound that is quite promising but nothing OP.
The grammar was good, I did not notice any mistakes, but I did not pay special attention to it.
The events and characters are logical and sensible.
So far so go, and a lot better than most sories here on RR, especially for a slice-of-life set up.
What bothers me is that the first few chapters feel off somehow. The structure of some conversations, interactons and descriptions are somehow feel alien. I would say either because the writer is not used to writing like this, or english is not his first language.
However as the story goes on it gets a lot better (or it is just me getting used to it :) ).
Later on a rewrite of the first few chapters would be nice, but only after some more writing, as the author is still getting better.
It is a work in progress, but it is aleady enjoyable.
A fresh, nice take on xianxia, with some young masters, a cultivating chicken, a rational and grounded MC and so far, a really pleasent vibe, with some looming complications on the way.
The shifts between the POVs help the story keep going, the writing and the grammar are both good enough that I do not remember any mistakes after binge reading the story. And most importantly I did not notice any logical inconsitencies.
Beware of the (hawk)chicken 'cause he wields the power of the moon!
First, this review is mostly rewritten, as it contained some unjustified ranting based on 1 small part of the synopsis.
The story is good so far. Not the best I have read here, but it is a solid start.
Still if you make a statement like this:
"If a random reader can work out that putting a big rock in a bag of holding, lifting it, and then dropping the rock is free energy, then so could an adventurer who's owned a bag of holding for twenty years. Side characters have brains too."
I will have unreasonably high expectations for the story.
And yet just like in most stories here on RR, logic goes out the window for some time, so we can have a setting with a clueless MC, uninformed side-characters, all for the sake of an overall "air of mystery".
(which IS a hard to avoid problem of the genre this early, but after that synopsys, it bothers me too much)
(deleted part as I realised it was highly unjustiefied)
Most elements that get overlooked becuse you know, the plot needs it be overlooked:
- the papers were the most important clues about him, but not one word of them during the interrogation?
-not looking into why he was so heavily injuried?
-not checking the stats of a complete newcomer, right before one of the most important events of the year, where they will have to take him with them? (while he is deeply indebted to them after getting saved)
I just hope stuff like this won't be repeated.
Mind that, these are small illogocal events that could be attributed to the coming events, and I would not even mention them if I would not have been specificly told that things like this will not happen here.
What I failed to expend on is that, other than the 1 ( for me) upsetting part of the blurb, this is way above average in both the quality of the writing, and originality compared to similar stories.
There are some too hard to dodge tropes related to the "startingtown", but they are inherent parts of a progression story, making a setting for the MC to grow.
Whether the author walks the walk, or just talks the talk will turn out in the coming chapters. It is an interesting story, worth following.
Still my hatred for hypocricy does not let me give it due 4,5 starts
In short: Good, but not as great as it claimes to be (so far), -1 star for the hypocrisy in the synopsis.
P.S: After reading the other reviews I feel that the high number of reviews and the reactions to them, are partly due to the often mentioned conflict between the story and the synopsis, but it sure made me pay way more attention to the story than I usually would
First of all: The writing is great, the concept of the story is easy to like, and totally logical. And then there is Heather...
Heather is supposedly 22, which is in every country I know of, is considered an adult. Her age would implicate a minimal level of social skills, and self-reliance that could be ignored for some time due to the stress/trauma caused by being choosen. But not for this long.
It can not validate her behaviour towards her new friends. Which is "you are not doing it right", "I know better who to trust", "do this for me", "you should have told me what to do".
And there is the case of ignoring that she is in a world governed by different rules. Even after she was attacked on 2 (3) different occasion, she keeps toying around with her class selecton, showcasing the mental capabilities an attention span of an 8 year old.
Reading about MCs like her make me wonder if people could really be this airheaded in real life.
First of all, if you found this story, I highly recommend giving it a try!
I never imagined that I will read here a story soo good, that I will have to stop reading it.
You writing is engaging and you managed to create a consistent charater that annoys me so much that I just can't keep on reading.
What annoys me is that I can not logically accept any decisions she makes and yet it is so well written, they all fit her character, and the world we learned about perfectly.
Thank you for this (for me) short, but highly memorable experience.
Often I keep reading stories where I can notice the huge holes in it even while I am reading it, but this one just sucked me in and I could not stop until I read all of it.
I can't tell you if it is perfect or not, if how the grammar is, is the science and logic of the world sound, because it has been such a great read so far for me that I can't even remeber such small things.
This is why I read. To find stories that make me feeel this way about them.
So I can only urge you to read it, and see for your self how much you can enjoy it!
I really like the ideas both about the MC being a master of exploits and a corporate taking over a game world, but the MC and his friend in the game act like some 12 year old brats. It really hurts because I truly loved the begining of the story so I just could not leave without wenting my disappointment.
Gave it up after chap 24.
(I gave 5 for grammar because I did not remeber noticing any mistakes, but I did not look for them at all)
These are just the few things that were too much for me:
MC wants immersion and does not check forums, OK I get that, but a corporate taking over THE groundbreaking game would be an unmistakable news in the gaming community. Also MC not keeping tabs on his nr. 1 enemy? really?
MC (and friend?) should be professional in exploiting games which means also in playing them. Why the hell do they act so f...king cocky, in noob gear when they can't even tell where they are, or even just how strong the pay-to-win boys are.
In their first confrontation they clearly encounter people who they have problem with and then they act like a**holes towards the person who saves them. WHY?! Did she do anything aginst them other then calling them what they are? They just started the game. They are worse than Jon Snow, they ARE noobs. She seams to know what is going on, they don't, why the attitude?
They meet and talk to the NPC goblin who acts like a real person, and then they see the most realistic town ever and still end up with the conclusion that NPCs are primitive and not woth speaking to?
The goblin clearly said that the guys who attacked run the town so when MC and friend arrive they decide that they can do whatever they want? What kind of logic is that? They are told that it is an opressed territory and the a**hats from before rule the place.
Is this really how the master exploiters behave?
It just does not work for me, and it make me sad because the story clearly has a bunch of potential and the writing is good as well.
Anyway this is only my opinion if you where interested by the given summary just give it a try, and you can decide for yourself.
This story was a great suprise for me.
I rarely see this level of quality and world building here on RR. :)
I don't want to start rambling about how much I love the story so far, I just want advise anyone who reads this, to read the story! It is totally worth it!