Ignore the haters, this is a great story !!!!!!!!!!!
It started out awesome and then right down hill. It is a shame when a good story goes down hill
First of all, I want to thank the author to for publishing chapters at such a rapid and regular rate along with writing a story with aspects would not appeal to a lot of people (Gender-bender). I personally like these types of stories and want to see more of them.
That said, the problem I have with this story and the reason why I am dropping it, at over 13 chapters in, is simply because I don’t like ANY of the characters in this story. They are all very Cringy. It almost seems like all the characters view the world through rose tinted lenses. The mother is overbearing to such a degree that any teenager or adult, would be rebelling. The rate that the Teenage male MC adapts to being a turned into a female is also unrealistic. Especially considering how prized “fertile” women are in this world. Even as young as he is, The MC must know that he is going to be expected to produce babies at some point. However, this does not even to be a concern for him.
The fact that the main character lacks any sense of spine and is a complete push over also adds to this problem. Some of that could be excused due to the MC’s situation and age but not all. In short, I simply don’t like the characters and don’t find them partially believable.
For those you are looking for Adult Content in this story I suggest you look elsewhere. There hasn’t even been a hint of it at this point and judging by what I see of the author’s style I would be surprised if there is ever any.
This review may contain minor spoilers, you have been warned.
I made it to chapter 30 before I decided to stop reading. The premise of this story wasn’t bad but not original. I like that you used a science fiction setting instead of a fantasy based setting. However, everything prior to character creation was only adequate. It was neither compelling nor interesting. However, it wasn’t long enough to complain about. I also don’t see how knowing the main character is wheel chair bound or the rest of the back story presented, is important/relevant to the rest of the story. In short, everything before character creation needs some TLC.
The supporting characters are as flat as can be. Apart from their name, gender, race and status—I don’t know anything about them as individuals. There are two exceptions to this rule. I know that the elfish one was a virgin. I also know more about the princess however; even her character isn’t fleshed out that well. These facts, along with their slavery status are all the facts, I as a reader know about the supporting characters. They also lack individual personalities and all sound the same in the dialog. They lack any quarks that make your characters, individually unique or interesting.
The main character (I forget his name) comes across as slightly impersonal/uncaring who is out on a joyride. I really like the premise for the main character’s avatar and think his build has a lot of potential. However, your MC also comes across a flat and kind of numb. This guy is trapped in a wheel chair for the rest of his life and probably can’t even feel is lower ‘member’ even if he can get an erection. He then is sent into a virtual world where he can walk/run/fight and fuck again. Think about how amazing that would be to experience if you were in that situation. Now look at your main characters reaction. I’m paraphrasing here but it went something along the lines of “Oh yeah, I didn’t have any problems walking or moving about in the game” Where is the emotion? Where is the joy of being able to walk again, even if it is only a video game? This is only one example and there are ton of other ones I could have used. Your main character downplaying events like this and completely failing to react to events, that a real live person would have some type of emotinal reaction towards, is what killed my interest in your story. In 30 chapters I have only seen the MC be depicted as being natural, kinda serious and pissed. Real people have far more emotional depth then what I have seen from you characters.