Im gonna be completely honest here.
First: this is way too similar to Arifureta, and Forsaken hero Light novels with some little but refreshing changes gotta tell you it felt great for the Mc to be a hidden "dragon"
Second: the story feels kinda rushed due to the lack of details, and lack of expressions. The dialogue between people feels way too fast and emotionless...
Third and last:
GRAMMAR well what can i say, its not your main language but there are some mistakes that are way too big like "stapped" i can tell you wanted to say "stabbed" but thats my guess, anyway this can be fixed by Pr.
With all said i hope you wont get negatively affected by this review for that is not its objective, also as i said this story change is refreshing from the "travel other world>underpowered Mc>betrayal>sudden raise of power" route as this mc WAS not op with skills but he had the experience to back him.
This story is a manual for those males who like being OVERLY PASSIVE, in their relations, everyone who has at least a bit of experience with the opposite gender know that if you let a woman shape a man to her likes, she will eventually grow bored and leave him and find another one to re-shape.
good style, one of the fortes of this fic indeed but sometimes switching from 3rd PoV to MC PoV can be something tricky.
Well if you have seen your share of animes you will find that its not the first time where you get an MC forced into a relation with another female, sadly its not the best way to make a relation but if worked with good head on the shoulders it can actually become a pretty good end game story
Sadly so far this review is after ending Vol.1.
Another forte of this fan fic, you will find little to no grammar mistakes in this story and its actually good if you can bear with the main troupé interactions.
In the beggining i was thinking that the Male lead would be great as it was depicted as the "trust issues gamer otaku" but as the story develops you will find him becoming a tamed dog by our mystical and overpowered female lead.
why do i call her OP? well this is your common rpg-stats-world like setting meaning there is stats in equips and your current classes, and yet our Priest/Cleric Female lead one shots a mob way over her lvl with a knife, that had pretty good stats but...its just not easy to believe.
all in all its a good time killer story but not of the best due to our mc being lead by the nose by our all powerfull Female Lead pseudo priest/cleric.
Having this kind of synopsis helps alot, and also the way this is going is pretty good and slowly wraping me into the pace.
This is the first review based on the first chapters until ch.11 which is the last one atm, but i will eventually make a full one, with norhing more to say best luck to the author.
Im just judging based on prologue and chapter 1, if this had more i would put in a bit more effort on this.
But breaking the normal reincarnation and vrmmorpg hype i can finaly read something different for once, i hope to read more of this in the future
As i said nearly flawless due to some minor things that i will venture and guess will be fixed naturally as the story progress.
I think this is the highest rate i've given in my time here reading the stories here. And IMO this deserves the score.
Reason being the style sometimes gets influenced by the grammar which is pretty small imo.
This is heavily influenced by previous stories in this site such as: change:new world. But it has its own uniqueness by using mature people with regressed age and not our standard teenager troupé which are bound to make pretty dumb mistakes and sadly justifiable.
Not gonna judge the "thru and tho" as i use the tho sometimes, and know about thru, but the small mistakes that happen sometimes due to missing letters and some missing comas for better sentence understanding.
Gotta admit this is one of the strongest points of this FF the Mc is not a pretty boy nor was he ever popular with girls and he was 41y/o perfect mature age with plenty of life experience due to his past.
The heroine Troupé is unique in its own way also, sadly and im gonna admit i feel that Cindy love due to suspension bridge is viable but not that much due to the fact that they didnt had such a great experience like it would have been if it was the 2 of them alone. But aside for that everything else is perfect so imma just gonna ignore that little fact.
All in all i can say this story also comes with the perk of the releases so fast, god in a single day you uploaded 10 ch. And not small ones on top of that. So you can call me a pretty much fanboy of this story hopd you get even better
Lets begin with my opening phrases to identify this FF and that is “For those who like a puppet Mc”
You may ask me “why you say puppet” well you will understand if you read the whole review, [note: this review is based on the 14 chapters out so far]
First lets say the biggest flaw this FF is sadly the grammar. And this one is personal and this is the reason why i wont continue reading this FF and that is “I HATE WHEN THE MC IS OP BUT GETS NERFED BY BAD REASONS”
Now onwards the review:
Reason being i cant get into your style due to your grammar changing a lot of the meanings/sentences and confusing me while trying to read.
I liked the first 5 chapters even if the grammar was so barely bearable…but this took a turn towards the badplot train and the reason was so stupid i cant stand the Mc after ch.7
As i stated on Style part, your grammar is terrific im really sorry and i know you are really trying the best you can, but sometimes i feel you using google traductor or something that makes my eyes bleed when reading.
Ex. They’re= They are/were in short and is NOT THE SAME AS “their”
Ex. She/He= and when referring to things that belong would be She=her & he=his
I was so confused in early chapters that i thought the Mc mother was actually having him as her first child, but was a misunderstanding referring to her having him as a first MALE CHILD
You see out of all my reviews im not happy to say this one is the lowest score i’ve given but its mainly because of grammar and then character…
MC: he is a puppet to the gods…why? The first time he met with the gods he asked them to let him rest in peace or more precisely let him go, but the gods gave no M about it and still reincarnated him for THEIR OWN PURPOSE.
For the next chapters he is having fun training his Mana but sadly the MC is not smart….he does it without caring about who see him, and what he does…but still it was no reason to seal him…
Next one of the gods meet him and seal him because he is careless, this was the boiling point for me, A SEAL WAS EXCESIVE. But that was not all the reason also was because it would ONLY BENEFIT THE GODS I HE IS STILL ALIVE AND WELL.
Now my only question is WHY SHOULD HE GIVE AN F ABOUT THEIR PROBLEM IF THEY FORCEFULLY REINCARNATED HIM? There is no reason, his best time was when playing with mana but it was forcefully taken from him by the gods…and to top it all, it is said to help char. Development? What a joke, why? Keep reading.
There is no info on the other characters…no info on Milty, on the Sister, The Mother, The Gods…everyone is a Big Blank Page…
And later we discover that the “seals” were actually making the Mc a walking time bomb…FOR THE GODS PURPOSE, ERGO THE GODS OR “TRUE MAGI” HERE ARE BEINGS SELFISH AND SCARED they are basically forcing the Mc to do their bidding.
There was a point where i thought why does he not just only kill himself…a life manipulated so openly is not worth living…and suddenly he just walks like ” oh the gods tried to use me as a bloody kamikaze to kill their target, nothing to do here” no anger…and no sadness…not even an inch of pride in the Mc…ergo this feels just plain to read… gg wp
No im not gonna say until the fire nation attacked….okay i already said it well f***….
Lets begin woth a good reincarnation theme of a soul who has the knowledge of his past lifes but not of his identity so its just a very smart soul…
The plot goes good and the story was pretty “calm before the lamestorm?”
And here is what goes after the review title “until chapter 21”
Thats right after chapter 21 everything went from white to black and this is way too sudden that its more than a normal plot twist, from where i used to read ff we called this a good ‘bad twist’ why? Well because shit so close to NTR happens thats why but hey the bloodborn still got raped….thats a pretty bad move author….
NTR in the middle of the story is just WRONG yeah it didnt happened to the love interest but in reality once in that situation as the ‘queen’ she have some responsabilities…well forget about that lets keep the review.
After chapter 22 everything goes straight to hell and this goes for those who read the reviews…it is indeed as Vince said “Not for those with a weak heart” there are so many plot wholes that in the way to reach chapter 27 (which was realised on the author site first) makes you RAGE so hard that you will end insulting him.
So my only warning is for those who have a chiken heart. Dont read this unless you are good with rape and s*** going down in a pretty non believable way.
So as my ending rate i will leave this as a 3/5 and this wont change because this kind of way doing such sudden bad twists are way too bad…i will read the punishment of certain people and after that i will decide if i will keep reading this.
Can someone answer me....why do you change the gender of the main character?
I dont get even the need of having our Mc profile as a playboy if he became a girl....at the beggining i thought it was fine since he keeps reacting to girls but after you introduced handsome after handsome male guys i got tired and i simply cant digest a former guy with another guy even if his body is not of a guy....forget that i dont even like the NO PLOT story....this guy is just in a new world with no objective
Good grammar and good narrative power thats why i can give a bad score nor a good one due to my personal preference against genderbending full mode, as i said in another genderbender i can get the need of trying to pose as something but not full mode change.
I dont have any problem.either if its a female lead but god make her a girl since the beggining not a friggin tranny thats what its this a tranny in another world and little by little becoming even more girl...sigh enough im done
Im giving this a 50/100 score aince its beggining and all of this is just pre judgement so dont take it to heart...yet...
Well as i've been around this place for a while i already have read my fair share of Tragedy/VR genre so im just going to say this, most of the VR genres is become like that because our Mc always ends being crippled for life and seek escape from life in there which i find perfect, but in most of the cases they forget they are interacting with programs and people in other places.
In this one particulary we have our Mc which let me add you a word as a psycological analysis as thats my field, is mentally unstable since the suicide attempt we know he just had bad luck and its not his fault, but pity is the only thing one could feel towards someone who got such kind of luck, and to top it all his reason for quitting was because everyone felt pity towards him...it just shows how weak he is in the mentally aspect...and sorry to say this but that kind of guy out of a story is destined to become a full bag of massive hatred....he would need a lot of time working his anger and his sadness...either suicide or become a murderer(extreme case), you give him 2 supportive pilars....but instead of helping him it would become more like rubbing salt on a wound since they both are married and living their happy life...people like our MC end looking everything with the negative side of the picture...thats why they always end in the worst situation.
Well sorry for the analysis its just that i take it kinda seriously sometimes -.-' im looking to read this and my only complains would be towards the roman empire and greeks if this is based on them since i love both of their stories so i hope you have your homework ready ^^, looking towards this
Well lets begin this with my first comentary and most honest truth “i read this only until chapter 16?
While the story begins great and all, it slowly turns dark and spiteful after certain events i was unable to like a lot of big choices our NAIVE Mc came across, so lets begin with this.
Lets begin with one of the problems of this FF and lets clarify somethin, i think im way softer thab the reviews from ‘The group’.
The problem is that our author kinda lack the exact way to express some actions leading some of us readers to be unable to understand some actions/moments in the Ff this point here as far as i was able to endure this painful to read MC actions.
Great plot with a lot of flaws and the biggest one are the characters actions and the style mixed with some unbearable grammar
As i said in style one of the biggest flaws here is the lack of description coupled with the lack of (.) and (,)
There are lot of flaws that can be fixed with the help of PR’s
Well lets begin with my biggest problem in all the FF and that was the actions our MC makes…as said sometimes being Naive has its limits and our Mc fits in the role of our Naruto/Luffy (shonen hero) perfectly, instead of taking matters at hand our Mf is going wishy washy around gambling thanks to how broken his skill set is and truthfully until ch.16 there was no tragedy towards his party but i dont dare to keep reading since his attitude as how it is until that chapter will always make problems for his acquintances.
And if thats not enough it saddens me even more the fact that this FF is tagged as “Harem” , there is indeed harem….BUT THEY ARE NOT HIS,THEY BELONG TO THE GIRL VAMPIRE AHAHAHAHAHa yes thats as you read our MC is our typical Naive and PUSSY Virgin hero, maybe there is some development for him and the girls later but as i said its unbearable for me to keep readin, because this Mc flaws are amazing i could write a full report on him as the perfect “Shonen” hero.
Next lets talk about our Mc emotions that are non existent, no pride, No wrath/rage, not scared of anything, and always trusting EVERYONE. And lastly his random actions such as Killing a girl in the must BACKSTABBER way, even if they were chosen ones they still recieved him well and even if he need a soul he could take the fenrir champion soul but instead lets engage in a senseless killing….fk yeah RETARD CHOICES ARE OP.
I believe im not the only one who thinks there are always better choices other than killing but there are always times when you need to show determination…. and our Mc lacks everything…
Lastly our Mc “dark anti hero” counter part maybe badass but when you described him on the characters sheet, it greatly differs from the actions he took againist the chosen ones…so please you cant describe him like that after such kind of action…he is just then plain retard who will always pull the trigger first and ask questions later….i dont like him at all
Well im sorry if i raged too much but at the beggining everything was smooth until the wrong choices and his naivety that its a trademark of Shonen heros which i dont tolerate anymore after so many of them became anime…
As always this is personal opinion and my phrase for this FF is “If you like Shonen stereotypes, please read by all means” even wheb there exist Kage we read our Mc actions more so i cant digest it sorry and good luck with this FF