The Menocht Loop

Overated fiction but quality character study

At it's core, 'The Menocht Loop' is a character study.

Recommended for readers who like:

  • Character development
  • Stories exploring psychology
  • Time loops
  • Mystery
  • Overpowered Protagonist (Note: Very little action though)

Not recommened for:

  • Levelling up
  • Battle Junkies
  • Worldbuilding (Note: Interesting world but not explored well)
  • Intrigue
  • Refined writing


It's protagonist has been trapped in a time loop for years, all the while learning the darker arts concerning the dead to grow stronger out of necessesity in order to escape. After finally managed to break free of the loop only to discover that it was just the first of multiple layers.
The writing is an interesting look into the character and how being trapped within the time loop has effected them personally. There are many interesting philosophical questions that the author, Caerulex, allows the character and story bring to our attention. The protagonist's development as a character is subtle but it is golden. In this respect it is truly a brilliant piece of character writing.

On the other hand, whilst it is a good fiction on the whole, reviewers from Caerulex's other fiction Apex Predator, and readers from the recently finished Mother of Learning who are looking for more time loops have drastically overhyped this story. Whilst it is has been Good enough to keep me reading, I would be hesistant to suggest that it is Great and I feel as though people looking for advice in the reviews should be aware of that going in to avoid betrayed feelings.

Here are some comments and critiques of the story so far. Be aware that there are some minor spoilers regarding the content. I have avoided anything story ruining but if you want to avoid them entirely, I advise you skip 1.


 As a final note: 
Do not read the comments on chapters because the author has put so many spoilers about future plot. Like I'm up to the most recent chapter and I already have parts spoiled for me. No joy is to be gained from reading them.

The Wizard Division

Fast paced Urban Fantasy. Subpar Cop Drama

This fiction is as fast as a firebolt.

Recommended for: Anyone after a quick fix light novel that is more about the fantastical world and it's inhabitants than the main plot or characters.

Not Recommended for: People who want a investigative cop drama or development of side characters.

At it's core The Wizard Division is a openly magical urban fantasy with elements of a cop drama although certainly not a traditional one.

The urban fantasy elements are done really well and as I learn about the world that DrakonStorm has written I feel like I am having a blast. This is one of my first urban fantasy fictions but its worldbuilding is living up to the standards I've seen on tumblr.

The storyline is rather lackluster. The plot is consistent and it isn't an entire mess but the main character comes across as slightly OP Gary Stu in how all the story elements come way too convieniently to him.

Spoiler: Expansion on ways the character has seemed like a Gary Stu

 If you are expecting good levels of intruige on the cops side of things think again. These cops are terrible at being dectectives as they had all the elements of a connected case and it was left to the MC to realise they were connected days later. No investigation. Just stumbled upon the realisation. The cop side of things comes out more in magical community work and battles so if you can look past the waste of taxpayers money, you'll be alright.

Characters are real hit and miss with this. The protagonists homelife feels most developed and I honestly like how it's been dealt with. The main character is certainly quirky if a bit mental and it's fun seeing the world through him. Any character outside of that though is a total mess. We don't get many scenes of character development with anyone other than his sister and dad. Most characters other than a head dectective have just come and gone. I expected this with folk in the community bc they are cops but theres not been much development thus far with the cops, hopefully there will be in the future.

Moving onto grammar but keeping with the characters they almost ALL have their own accents which comes out in the writing. It's horrific the amount of "ze's" you'll be finding into their words. It's done consistently but damn it's annoying when half the cast so far have been germanic or irish and must prove it in their words. I'm being a bit biased because I'm not a fan of this sort of thing. It's not out of place in this novel though. It's an element which really helps bring out the eclectic nature of the magic and los angeles community.

The rest of the grammar is okayish with spelling errors spattered about. I'm not sure if the author needs an editor or just to give each chapter a once over. Easily readable but could be improved.

The narrative style is going to be the make or break for a lot of readers of this fiction. Personally I'm not a huge fan but I can certainly see a lot of folks who are into fanfics loving this quirky fiction. It's got a similar sort of style to them and comes across as really laid back a lot of the time.

I feel like the cop elements definitely need to be reconsidered before I could give it a higher rating. And there needs to be more of an effort to develop characters other than the MC and not do it in a rush like I'm seeing in the most recent chapter as I review.


TL;DR: Urban Fantasy rich. Cop Drama poor. The style is not for everyone but those who like it will no doubt love it.

no evil

Crime with Character

To put it bluntly, this fiction is damn good.

If you like well defined, consistent characters. This fiction is for you.

If you like intrigue and careful information games. This fiction is for you.

If you like detective or crime shows. This fiction is for you.

Story consists of a big city dective in a small town which plays a bit lax on the law when it comes to the locals and an investigative reporter who can hear whispers of words unsaid.

The plot so far has been rather simple and as a reader we follow the investigation into a case which is turning out a lot larger than it first appeared.

The narrative for this fiction has been beautifully done and does a brilliant job of portraying the intensity of the battles of intrigue that the novel has been chock full of. The dialogue is smart and at times witty with both of the characters holding their own in their perspectives. One fault I have to give the fiction is that there has been one or two scenes where the perspective is a bit vague and could have been either of the leads but other than that it is smooth sailing. The dual perspectives really plays well with the battle of will and gives a good sense of second-hand pride in characters one-upping each other.

I can't rate the story too highly as of now because it's not fully got into that but it's looking like it will also be a full 5 stars. The twists have been sensible although I feel like there needs to be some care in terms of their placing in a chapter in the future.

Spoiler: Feedback for author on a scene. Spoilers contained.

Grammar is great. A few errors here and there. Mostly getting her, his, and he muddled every once in a while. Sentence structures are good and portray the thoughts well. Really like the style oh showing thoughts heard through her powers and the ways of presenting the stories that the dective or journalist is developing.

Spoiler: More specific feedback


The characterisation in this fiction is truly brilliant and it all feels very real and reasonable. I care about characters only 7 chapters in and have a good idea about their quirks. That's brilliant work on the authors part.


TL;DR: Brilliant characterisation and control of information by the author has created a crime fiction with a solid level of intrigue.

NPC 210M

This Novel almost left me insane

I read up to 357 in one sitting (this was about 5 months ago)

At some point I started to lose my grip on reality and this story honestly engulfed me. The 24 hours after I finally stopped reading were spent in a deep disassociation with reality and steadily coming to terms that at some point I had started to consume this story to a point that it too consumed me in a horrific mental Oubouros. It was a beautiful experience to live as your characters Shademage and I don't know if that was your intent but thank you.

This is an unexpectedly emotive and constantly flowing tale exploring the vast possibilities of the initial setting through a series of key events which shape both writing and the stories realm of reality.

Although this doesn't follow usual format and it isn't perfect. This huge project by Shademage is made of easily consumable chapters which leave you wanting more and I greatly recommend giving it a read (but maybe don't consume a years worth of someones creative mind in one sitting if you want to avoid a personality crisis aha)