This story is fun to read! The characters are well written and well rounded, and the adventure (short as it is for now) is genuinely gripping! If you think a Fool must be an unwitting companion and cause of chaos, then prepare to be proven wrong. Take a spin with the smartest, least chaotic, and most likely to succeed Fool you will ever read!
I'm gonna get the minutiae out of the way first.
Style: standard first person storytelling, really well done. The pacing is very nice, good detail when needed, but it doesnt drag and it doesn't skip from fight to fight like a murder hobo Chronicle.
Story: A lovely tale of a young woman striving to be more than her surroundings demand, and making a fair bit of a racket doing it! It's fun to watch a hero who faces obstacles beyond those that can punched into submission. How will she break the limits of her society, and will she do so in a way that opens the path for others, or is she merely one of the exceptions to the rule?
Grammar: is good. What else is there to say?
Character: while it might be nice to have more solid physical character descriptions, there are no flat characters here, beyond maybe Kerberos, but that may be remedied sometime in the future. All characters are notable, unique, well thought out, and well executed. This is a vibrant world, full of vibrant people.
Thanks to those who read this far, and thanks to the author for writing this wonderful work!
Oh, and congrats on your wee baby!!
This story is exactly what it says it is. A overpowered Canadian lass with a wopping great wing-wang kicks the crap out of a lot of stereotyped wuxia and isekai characters. Which is great!
Where this story thrives is in the action.
Everything else is pretty meh, if I'm to be honest.
The characters don't get developed, and they are very much not nuanced.
The story is rushed, nonsensical, and kinda funny.
The style is punchy, in-your-face, and aggressive.
The grammar is fine, a few errors but nothing ridiculous.
To me, this story has a lot of potential, but its pacing is way too fast. Thanks for reading, and thanks to the author for writing this.
This is a sweet story.
The style is fun, bouncy, and the pace is somehow both fast and pleasant.
The story is still in its infancy, but the course ahead has been laid straight to adventure, friendship, and wonder.
The grammar is clean.
The characters are well defined and consistent. Their quirks and interactions are a delight.
Thanks to the author for this sweet piece of writing, and I hope to still be having adventures alongside Miss Bunch in the distant future.
When I heard about this story from a friend, I was mildly intrigued.
But when I read the synopsis I stopped after the words "Saturday morning cartoon villain."
And I screamed, at the top of my lungs, YEEEAAAAH!!!
I have been missing the wacky, overblown, incomprehensible, frankly ridiculous plotting of the Saturday morning villain for years.
This story is funny, light, and well written. The pace is (perhaps) too fast, but I think the author like the rest of us just wanted to bite into the meat of absurdity that is kid cartoon villainy.
I hope things slow down a tad, and allow for further hijinks and hilarity between doomsday devices, but regardless of the pacing I am well and truly hooked.
This is a wonderful story!
The MC is foolish but not incompetent, the ladies are practically more thorn than rose, and the "System" is a hack.
Story is coherent and fun to follow.
Grammar is quite well done.
Style is both happily familiar and wonderfully different.
And the characters are fun, believable, and interesting.
This is the most inventive and interesting litrpg I've ever read.
Perhaps the best part about it is that the MC never really goes through the whole "new world" shock and surprise phase, and skips right over the training montages and gets right to the murder.
Which I quite liked.
The style is familiar, the plot hasn't really started rolling, the grammar is good, and the characters are where this story really shines so far.
Its gonna be a character driven plot for sure.
Marbles are the best prey.
Truly, honestly, from the bottom of my heart, I say to you.
This story is a treasure.
The depth, the character, the sheer emotion and comprehension engraved into every chapter is awe inspiring.
There is no hero. There is only Tabitha.
And she is trying her best.
As a long term Star Wars fan I was delighted to see this!
Those familiar with the works of Kestix, I hope I got his name right, will recognize the opening scenes.
First of all, the good stuff!
An excited author with a very solid grasp of the universe they are writing in.
A fairly unique character, with more flaws than virtues and more balls than brains.
Now, the bad stuff.
The author is clearly an amateur, same as every author ever at the start.
The grammar, writing style, character development, plot design, and action scenes need work and polish.
The shifts in perspective are clunky and awkward, and the actions and reactions of the MC are far from intuitive or understandable.
We are expected to somehow understand the character without ever really being introduced to him, which kind of sucks.
Overall, if the author continues to write then these flaws will naturally diminish and disappear as they become more experienced.
To the author, please take this as constructive critiscm. I truly enjoyed reading what you've written so far, and eagerly await what you will write in the future.
There really isn't anything quite as fun to read as a good sci-fi.
The scale of the problems, solutions, villains, and heroes are all truly immense.
This is a young story as of yet, mid 20's as far as chapters go, but it already has me entirely engrossed.
Oh, it isnt perfect. The characters seem a bit stiff, their dialogues and motivations seem weak and tentative.
The science is largely glossed over in favor of psionics, which seems like a bit of a lazy way to do sci-fi.
Still, to me, this is going to be an awesome read that I will look forward to for quite some time.