Kirin

Kirin

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Reviews
Ambassadors to another world

I have thouroughly loved reading your work from chapter 1 till the most recent addition.

The world building has been absolutely superb!

Though if i must write one small thing that bothers me, it is that i wished the chapters were longer - i find them somewhat short.

But overall i feel it has been eons since i last found a story of this caliber and that this story is a must read on this site.

Keep up the good work!


Mystic: Mark Of The Demon

I like the story, but I somewhat feel the MC is portrayed as a side character rather than a main one. But that's just me. 

Your most fatal flaw is your wording and sentence structuring. That needs some tweaking. 

I feel you should let the chapters sit in your computer for some time and return to them later on and read through them to discover where improvements needs to be made.  

But I like it. If you can fix all this, I wouldn't mind changing the score to four or maybe even four and a half stars.

I feel this story has potential.

Ps. Edit the synopsis and improve it. Not only does it somewhat sound boring, it needs a complete overhaul.  

 


The Old Steward Journey in Cultivation World

I actually quite like the premise of the story, unfortunetly it, as many other xianxia stories, falls victim to the stereotypes that appears in this genre.

The pace is a little fast, but i like it that way. The old man is an somewhat interesting character, you haven't truly layed out his motivations for growing stronger.

I don't know his motivations nor do i know why the young guy helped him in the first place.

The grammar is absolutely horrendous. You need to thoroughly read through your work before posting it.

Overall i like the story. The characters - other than the MC, seem boring and flat and that, unfortunatly, ruins it for me.

Despite all that i still feel the story has a lot of potential, all that you need to do before you now, is to rewrite it, add some good character introductions and lay out their motivations for the readers. 


FCBM - FATE CANNOT BIND ME

Confusing beginning. The prologue started good but it all went downhill when the kid began to salute. Too fast paced, not enough build up and many lost opportunities. Though i appreciate a story that starts in medias res, you failed in it's executing.
I somehow get the feeling that you have not devised the world and lore enough before writing the prologue and subsequent chapters.