DarthSkrill

DarthSkrill

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True Insanity

Good Novel Until Chapter ~20

Overall score: 4 stars: This story is good for many reasons.  One of the biggest for me was how it started in a very cliche manner, then broke them.

Style score: 3.5 stars: There are a few font size changes in the beginning that I rather dislike.  The red text was nice.  Generally presented well.

Story score: 4.5 stars: see Overall score

Grammar score: 3 stars: Errors, but still readable.

Character score: 4 stars: Classic anti-hero.

Notes: This story is very philosophical.  It will make you think about deep subjects.  This is why it is so good, in my opinion.  There are some aspects different from the traditional model, such as the way laughter and thoughts are presented. (or maybe they are and I just don't like them)  One cliche the author seems to have fallen into is harem/luck with girls, which is a small downside.  I can only hope it doesn't progress into a full on harem anytime soon.  The magic system is not very unique, but that isn't necessarily a problem.

For the author: Some things I'd like to comment on regarding word and punctuation use:

from chapter 13: "Still it served to separate the humans and beastkin and it was doing its job… albeit not very effectively seeing as there are quite a few human-beastkin wars in the history books."  "doing its job, albeit not very effectively" flows better, as commas represent pauses short enough to not break the sentence apart.  I get that you want a dramatic pause, but you sacrificed too much for that end (in my opinion).

also from chapter 13: "Cel was strong. Like… unexpectedly strong."  Removing the "Like..." altogether gives the sentence a short, staccato feel.  "Unexpectedly" should be changed to something such as "astoundingly" or "surprisingly" to better represent the connotation you're looking for (again this is my opinion).

also chapter 13: "But unlike the goblins I fought before these ones weren’t green but brown and they also had a few hobgoblins amongst them which are pretty much a larger, stronger and ,albeit slightly, smarter goblin."  "But, unlike" you forgot a comma (minor mistake).  "brown.  They" better flow.  "larger, stronger, and (slightly) smarter goblin."  This flows much better.

The reason I'm bringing these up is so you know you have alternatives.  I don't know your position on the precise connotations on all these words, or flow, but if it's anything similar to mine these options are better.

Small rant on viewpoint: No two people have the same perspective on a novel, why is that?  I believe it's 1. how critical you are and 2. how many novels you've read.  The first is self explanatory: if you critisize everything, you won't enjoy anything.  The second is the same concept as giving a child 2 cookies in the morning and 3 in the afternoon.  If you swap morning and afternoon, the child is less happy, but with the same amount of cookies.  When you read a ""bad"" novel, but it's the first of that genre, you like it (given you like the genre).  As you read more and more in the same genre, you find better novels, better plots.  You find out how overused cliches are.  You become more critical, because you've seen better.  Personally, I am halfway between the two extremes, leaning slightly toward the critical extreme.  Yet, I am not far enough gone that I dislike this novel.  Don't blame people for having seen better, because they most likely have.  Their "low scores [on] this awesome novel" are justified, in a way.

Edit: This review only applies until chapter 21, where the story shifts.  Some will like the change others will not.  Because of the excessively overpowered mc as well as a few other things, I am shifting the overall rating down to 3 stars.


Aeromancer

While this a good read, there is one thing I'd like to mention. The apparent (emotional) age of the mc feels inconsistent.  In the beginning, he acts like an 18-year-old.  Then comes the immaturity, and he looks to be around 16 years old.  By the 12th chapter or so, the emotional instability combined with people looking down on him makes him feel like a 10 to 13-year-old.  I know this is part of the storyline, but a little reinforcement of the fact that he is actually going into the equivalent of college would be a very welcome addition.  Furthermore, I believe a bit more maturity would not hurt the emotional portion of the plot at all.

Overall score: 4 stars: A good magic/fantasy novel with a rather realistic combination of medieval and futuristic settings.

Style score: 4 stars: Enjoyable flow.  A downside would be the importance placed on terms and alternate terms.  There was a little excessive repetition here and there, but nothing serious.

Story score: 4 stars: See Overall score

Grammar score: 4 stars: Almost impeccable grammar.  There were two instances of "you're" being used in the place of "your."  Possibly others, as I read very quickly.

Character score: 3.5 stars: See the big wall of text up at the top.

Notes: 4 stars is as high as I am willing to go without a "perfect" novel, so please forgive the rather low ratings.  Chapters are rather long, so keep that in mind.


Fun in Other Worlds

As I am not experienced in using low star ratings, the numbers I've chosen are rather arbitrary, so forgive me.

Overall score: 2.5 stars: Cliche premise with an overpowered mc.

Style score: 2.5 stars: Presented rather badly.

Story score: 2.5 stars: See Overall score

Grammar score: 1.5 stars: Bad punctuation, flow, word choice, etc.  I don't think I've seen a single "correct" sentence. (lol)

Character score: 2.5 stars: Generic overpowered mc.

Note: I do not mean to be offensive to the author, but this story honestly needs a LOT of cleaning up.  If you want editing, Tain, I can do it, but I feel the plot is beyond saving.