What I said, Itks a pretty standard xianxia except that the characters arn't frustrating to the 9 hells and the first action taken to deal with a problem isn't borderline sociopathic (that would be the second or third option). The writing is solid and reflects and understanding of the English language which is nice as well. Basically if you l8ke xianxia but are tired of most of them being crap give this a go; there's a good chance you'll like it.
This is a good story for what it is, which from what I can tell is a victorian Fantasy romance along the line of "The Paper Magician" or the watchmaker's daughter with an additional twist from the Otome Villiness genre. What I stress s that it leans more heavily into the historical setting while Otome settings are typically a massive joke if you know anything about the supposed era and local that it is set in which may not be that case for the typical Japanise reader but if fairly common among western audiences who had a class in European history.
So if you happen to be of the latter camp and suffer continual frustration at the mess of inaccuracy/lunacy that makes up the setting of most Otome Villinious stories, but still what to read them, you'll probably love this as I do.
This is slower-paced and the chapters are on the shorter side so I would suggest waiting for chapters to build if that's a problem for you. And if the passing is anything like a typical victorian romance, expect it to be slow and frustrating though typically there's some secondary plot with decent pacing so we shall see.
Characters are well written from what I have seen, grammar is great, I love the style (it fits so well) and the story shows promise for what's there though could maybe be further along by now (if this was a published book, web serials tend to stretch on longer on slower by there nature).
TLDR: if you a fan of books like those I have mentioned above or want a more grounded Otome villainous story you'll probably like this one.
Not gonna do a long in depth review but I just wanted to say how much I enjoy the characters in this. Sure the world building is interesting and the storie’s got some stakes and shit that’s interesting but I actually care about the characters which is the important part (also the the most frustrating part in most cultivation novels I’ve read).
The MC is a nice guy, and for good reason. He doesn't want to end up like his dad or disappoint his grandpa, oh did I forget to mention? This kid actually has a past and it influences his actions in a strange and scary world. And yes I mean kid, not edgelord supreme faceslap murder hobo.
Tldr: I like it, and if you get you panties in a twist over MC’s having morals and shit maybe you won't but like, tough shit?
As of right now it has a good base and is a lot of fun to read. For whatever reason it reminds me of the fun I had reading Randidly Goashound all those years ago when I didn't even have an acount yet. Probably because the basic system is similar with "grids" instead of "paths". Anyway I like the System--I especially like it's snark. The almost cliche snarky system is here and the amount of atentention drawn to it makes me think it might become a future plot point (which I would find interesting).
There isn't much of a story yet--no real goal beyond get stronger/survive which isn't a problem now but could become one. I like the main cast of characters and they all have the potential to become fully fleshed out but their not there yet.
A worry I have is that the the character types are defaulting--my guess is that the author doesn't even realize it--The big guy is a tank, the named women are a magician, healer and food logistician (the stewardess), Thin dude gets a spear, Hispanic dude is in charge of construction and Texan is a hunter. None of these on their own are particularly bad but I have seen not one character fall outside of their expected mould as one would see normally (in reality). Not only is this boring (in the long term) but it could become problematic if gendered/racial/geographic stereotypes become the norm. I mention this only because I like the story and this is an easy pitfall for a writer to fall into regardless of their beliefs.
I like the old man and think he could become a very interesting character. I think his age could be shown more often than stated as I certainly wouldn't have thought him 79 without being told: he feels more middle aged. Old people can be really funny I love how they might buck trends and just not care what people say. There is a bit of that here but it could maybe be leaned into more. I was just reading Artorian's Archives and loved how those books expressed the old man maybe it would make good inspiration? On that train of thought the story also reminds me a bit Old Man's War so if you like those books you might like this one.
Grammar is great aside from the odd typo (damn typos are like cockroaches; I'll never fault anyone for a few of those getting through) and the style is smooth but nothing special or particularly interesting.
TLDR: WHAT'S HERE IS GOOD. TIME WILL TELL IF IT WILL BECOME SOMETHING GREAT OR JUST MEH.
I'll preface my review by saying this is not what I normally read (at least not these days) and I started this as a part of a review swap... and then I kept reading... and reading... and I knew I read all those military sci-fi way back in the day for a reason. Long story short, Magnus is a blast (sometimes literally)
love it story flows nicely and it does a really good job of portraying the interesting world and the futuristic setup without getting exposition-heavy. My favourite feature of note is that the style and imagery make sense for MC (ex. "the sky looked like an ocean of freshly-ignited napalm"). And yes the MC's name is for all intents and purposes is MC... you get used to it.
Great! but don't take my word for it (my grammar is kind of shit...) look at all these other reviews saying it's great: zero(ish) stumbles guaranteed(ish)
I must say I'm interested, if not invested at this point, basically what we have is a really cool set up. MC somehow ended up in a strange new world while rescuing his sister, MC thinks this world is virtual, our only clue is at the capital; -> Capital here we go!
It's a promise of adventure plus something more (my hope is self-destruction, more on that later) but at this point, it is just a well-made promise that the writing makes me think will be delivered on with how fun the read has been up to this point. It's kind of slow but that's more a matter of personal preference. hence 4 stars.
This is probably where there can be the most improvement. Besides MC there aren't many other characters to get into if only due to screen time. One exception would be in the POV shift chapter staring a child and it does a pretty good job of getting the boy's character across in a short time.
I wouldn't go so far as to say side characters are one dimensional, it's just that none of them really stand out in the time given to them. They act in a manner that fits their role and not much else.
We do get to know MC very well especially with some interesting backstory bits that pop up further into the story. He's the stone-cold soldier type (obviously) and for some reason, I really want to see him suffer and I'm not sure why. Mainly I just think it would be interesting. What I think I'm saying is the MC's Character may turn you into a sadist (just for him)... maybe... I'll get back to you on that.
TLDR: Read it, it's good. I'll be reading it (even if only to see MC suffer)
Not entirely sure how to rate this story; it's funny, it does what it sets out to do, but I also got pretty annoyed while reading it. I think that stem largely from the main source of humour being misunderstandings and those misunderstandings at least seeming easily avoidable. I'm waiting for the characters to stop for a moment and properly sort out the situation except I have no hope of that happening. I would say that kind of humour gets old except I still kept reading and laughing each chapter.
What this means for me is that unless the story changes in some way, I can't really se a future for the story as something I would keep reading. That doesn't mean this story is straight up someone elses ally and it's probably read better spaced out over several days rather than read all at once the way I did.
Besides that it's well written with a constant style and a lack of any typos that I could see
This is a thoroughly enjoyable work that comes close to being dang near perfect (as far as any story can be called that).
The Characters are where this story really stands out as you follow a cast of flawed misfits who enjoy making jibes at each other and are a beautiful mic of inept and hilarious ass-hole. They also possess the kind of common sense rare in fantasy MC's. On top of that, the characters have dimension: Even the most Assholish of the lot, Vish, gives the impression that there might be more to him than being a skeevy selfish bastard.
The humour is a bit on the darker side may be, let's just call it British, but the story is not griim-dark. Sometimes it may fall a little flat or a bit may drag on, But I did find myself at least chuckling every chapter, if not laughing aloud (it's a good thing my mic was on mute for my online class today)
The only area that the story can improve on for me would be to make the plot a little more engrossing or expand on the character motivations, Right now it's very "slice-of-life of inept mercenaries" for which the motivation of comfort and money is serviceable and that's fine really. It just feels to me that there's something missing though I'm not sure what.
But that's just me.
TLDR: this is a great story to scratch your funny bone, need for reality within fantastical worlds, and desire for some down-to-earth (if somewhat flawed) characters
The short of it is that I like this story. I like the view from the top, the character of "The Tyrant". Ridiculous cheat magnet shenanigans... all that shit. But man does the author love their world-building. And I get it, I do. The world they have created for the game is vastly beautiful and intricate, with a deep history and a multiplicity of secrets and possibilities. It's no wonder then that the author likes to show it off.
sometimes it's fun and well done (I think)
The migration chapter is a fave of mine it gave a great view of the world while hinting at more and also providing a vector for character growth
other times not so much. Lots of times hat chapters just feel like a collection of wiki entries that I find myself skimming if not outright skipping. Some sections of the actual plot get dragged on far too long (3 chapters for a single easy fight is a bit much (the cannibals). I guess my main gripe is that it feels more often than not that details serve no other purpose than to exist and world-building is presented without need and without any impact on the story (That's not to say other times it's not handled magnificently).
It's frustrating because when the story is good I'm having a blast and then I get dumped with–sometimes chapters worth of–wiki entries. I'm not saying to rewrite the whole story but I think it's in dire need of the classic writing exorcise of trimming it down by 10% (maybe even 20) not because that 10% is bad, but because it detracts from the whole (hence the story score being lower than I'd otherwise give it).
just my thoughts and suggestions thought I'd share them in case they could help but also know that this is my subjective opinion and it can most certainly be ignored.
TLDR: people should read it, it's fun. It can be slow sometimes but those parts aren't too hard to skip if you want to and other people may really enjoy those bits. Room for improvement but still better than the bulk of this website.
It has potential and I for it to live up to it, I'm not sure how likely that is to happen. He story thus far has been simplistic which isn't in it's self bad. The MC has made some reckace and poor choices but he's also recognized this and is trying to improve (ie. character growth) which is great throw he's also quite plain so that's nothing new. The grammar is great and the style gets the job done without pulling you out of the story. Over all it's fun, has potential, just simple...
I think this gripe is more a me thing considering I had enough a background in anthropology which is why I'm so into cool word building and civilization building story's but what I've seen so for is lacking... for lack of better word, yes, pun intended). The view on culture reflected in the story smells like early table top rpg fantasy that took the ring lessons from Tolkien mixed with late 19 century arm chair anthropology trying to apply darwinistic theory to raceism, culture, the class system, and (the holy mother of all) colonialism.
it's not as bad as all that, I'm just overly sensitized to this kind of analysis, but the currents of it ar there.
but the story isn't quite in stride yet so I'll be keeping an eye on it and maybe it will become something great, I honestly hope it will and don't think that's too far a stretch.
note: I'm not sure how much actual civilization and world building will be in this, so my criticism my not be the most salient: there's some big war on the horizon that looks promising andthat doesn't really relate, though the world being too simple to feel real remains an issue I guess.
I like it. The MC is belivible and other charecters as well (though none have really been around for long). It's early days I guess so I don't want to make solid judgments but I will say I that I like the discussion of morality and the philosophical discussions/quandaries in general so I thought the story deserves props for what it's achieved so far. It's a story about good and evil--the nature of villainy and heroics--there's potential there and even if the execution may eventually fall flat I think props should be given for trying and for doing a pretty bang up job so far. Even if some parts are oddly phrased and confusing, the ambiguity of these sections are also a kind of strength.
That's all I can think to say right now. Good luck author, and readers, give the story a try.
(actually reviewed at 14: I just corrected some typos. Story's still good btw)