It had an interesting idea, and initially, before i read it, I was very interested.. but the writing is typical, the charecters are typical and make no real sense, the start of the plot is flawed, the main charecter is annoying despite him being an adult (does he hav extreme anger issues or something? How did he have the patience to spend 7 years to make a game by himself??). Overall, the idea was interesting, the actual story isnt
Plz put this in the Non-human Lead section. I've been searching for this story for months thinking it was there, but to no avail. I finally found it when I looked up slime (for the umpteenth time) and decided to look around before putting the Non-human part in. That's how I found this story (tho I found it out by a few stories mentioning you due to being inspired.). Hope this lives up to the hype.
The charecters development is kinda unrealistic, as well as the fact that I feel the AI should either have alot of personality (but for humor or advancing the story, not for nothing) or none. Don't really like how the AI is kinda half, making it seem like it's not sure of itself, which a system based on information and order shouldn't be.
The Grammer, as said Multiple times, can use work. It's getting progressively better the farther I read, but I feel like you should stop and provide some time to your previous chapters to make them longer, more detailed, and feel a bit more realistic as to draw more readers in.
The plot is a bit all over the place. First he *SPOILERS* stops a bug, then is taken by some high class people randomly (don't even know why they were even passing by it in the first place, if there are roads for it) even tho I'd guess it's be too small to be truly noticed, along with being attacked by bandits.... Then thrown in a hole for no real reason, even though it's a RARE PLANT.
Honestly feel like the bandits had the best backstory and charecters so far. The girls were too.... Strange. The man was too arrogant and heartless to be someones, who is always with him, crush(he threw a hard to find present in a hole with a smile, becuz he didn't like how it looked/didnt care about it).
And lastly, your style. You use way too much dots. I feel as they should be used for when someone is sad, despairing, acting sad, giving bad news, thinking really hard about something previously said, or something similar. You use it in nearly every paragraph. Takes away alot of the emotion and such, along with the charecters emotions being slightly irrational (going from happy he died, to mad he's being eaten, to happy he's found girls, to cheering on the bandits who ate him, to being pissed cuz a guy thought he was dead).
I know this story is a work in progress, mines is too, but these are definitely some things you need to work on to try and get more readers and better scores. Thanks for the read and see u next time^^