Meet the guy who became the most OP dungeon that managed to shock the whole pantheon of gods and he does it all it a couple of days. I managed to read upto chapter 10 before giving up to boredom and disbelief.
Honestly I hope these chapters have just been set ups for the main story. That the point of view will be changed to one of his less fortunate guild mates because he doesn't do anything interesting, there is no struggle being expressed.
A different direction the story might go in:
There is hints to a big bad guy but the main character nickname leech and bad guy name, lich. They are very similar, especially when the gods said there was time travel, it points to the bad guy maybe not fully existing yet and still being in the future. Yet the only thing on earth that could go against the gods is our protaginists. So if this is the story line, it is both boring and predictable.
Edit(09/09/17)-Chapter 11+ shows more interest chapter names, showing that this story could go in an interesting direction. However I dont feel upto reading more of this right. I hope to come back to this later.
This isn't a The Gamer/RWBY mashup but is overlaying gaming laws onto the RWBY world and having everyone follows it.
I've been hesitating to read this story because I was hesitant that it may be a "The games we play"(probably IMO the best The Gamer/RWBY Fanfiction) knock off or even influenced by it. However the People you see in Jaunes life that you never see in the show are quite different and the story gives off a different vibe from chapter one.
(Finnish review later)
The grammar is terrible, many spelling mistakes and not enough distinction in styles between thoughts, robots and people speaking. This makes the sentence structure hard to read.
If you can read the poorly written sentences and abstract the meaning that the author is trying to convey, the story is actually pretty enjoyable, the sentences make me want to hit my head against the wall though
I think the reason why I am so disappointed/annoyed with this story, is that I expected the MC to be a fairly unigue existance; reincarnating as a sperm. That he was going to do things that will allow him to make the perfect body to cultivate with. Though it isn't the clearest, the first paragraph synopsis tells you this isn't the case.(I actually thought it was a funny monlogue made by a reincarnated cultivator that found themselves in that weird situation; which would have been hilarious, oh disappointment)
The MC appears to actually be a wierd but common variation of sperm that has the ability to cultivate from birth(Creation? It also has other unnecessary abilities that the author gave them;why eyes?! Just give them spiritual sense). If you Ignore the Uniqueness of the sperm(replacing it with humans, the normal world and monsters), both the writing style, story and character progress is subpar and dull. When you look at it objectively the story isn't that great, only the weird setting makes you wish that it was better.
I do think its funny to think that this is whats happening in a cultivators' body to cause making children so difficult.
Starts Okay, guy dies for a dumb-ass reason and becomes a virus.
Guy basicly evolves out of virus and throws that part away.
Goes to school but does nothing and learns nothing.
Secondary characters are not proactive but are very responsive, info-dump machines.
Gets no power up for evolving into divine race.
Then leaves for deity world... well he made no great connections, so who knows if he will ever be back.
Guy dies because a god intervened. However it seems unlikely that he would have caused any problems in the first place (and he probably also messed with the reincarnation options but obviosly didn't know what options where there), so this dumb-ass god just made an enemy out of the MC and probably made him more powerful.
The first couple of chapters are monotonous. He doesn't really do much, is singularly focused on growth for revenge. The only way you can see growth is through the rpg screens, he doesn't really try mush. You could wave away his boring and contradictory actions by saying that he isn't very inteligent as a virus.
The different things that he could possibly do as a virus are thrown away and never really explored once he gets the ability to use a body. Possibly the only way you could justify the virus part of the story is to give a reason of why he has those traits and alignments that make him more powerful than everyone else, also giving him an ability to never really die. You also never see if his traits ever develop ever again, they just become hidden numbers.
Going onwards from his transformation ability, if you ignore the lacking virus parts, everything is okay until he meets people and go to school.
The weirdness of him getting accepted that quickly even though he is a suspicious character that is obviously lieing about certain stuff can be waved away by them wanting to make use of his high skill potential as a sorcerer.
The excuse of going to school is to learn new things and possibly getting a secondary profession. However the only thing that he learnt was dungeon locations and martial moves under someone and that was never realy expanded on. It would have made no difference if he had apprenticed himself at the adventurers guild. He didn't get a secondary profession or learn anything about traits and being handed those dungeon locations cut down on exploring.
The secondary characters he meets don't seem to proactively do anything, the teachers (there were only 2 he ever interacted with) never seemed to give him any information without being asked for it and then it will just be big info-dump. Everything is his idea and they always say 'what a billiant idea, we should do that'. I wouldn't be surprised if they were genuinely NPCs.
The time comes for him to evolve into a divine race, I thought this would be more significant, like every other time that he has evolved. He might have gotten more traits slots, it might say how his over virus parts are being affected or effecting their host because of him reaching divine level. Maybe they aren't affected and he wont be divine anymore if that body dies. Then he is given a really sketchy secondary proffession that basicly encourages him to carry on, just do what he wants to do and not really grow in a new way. So the author just threw away that part too, aswell as the virus part.
He has now gone to another world, I wonder if this will affect his connection with his other bodies at all... will he try to infect this new world...I doubt it.
There is no crisis to be resolved, the mc is op but not to the point where she will have to step forward to save the world. This is more the easygoing, slice of life of a battle-junkie grinding out her skills and levels from the system.
I actually prefer stories that are just about batttle junkies (or other eccentrics like crafting-maniacs or mad-scientist), which this story seems to be. It;s not a tense story about a hero with the weight of the world on thier shoulders, not about offending young masters and then exterminating their clan, not about facing the entire world. Its not just a humourous slice of life without any action either, though I find it funny.
This is the simple adventure of a slightly op battle-junkie type girl. The fighting scenes are great and entertaining. The slice of life is light, funny and refreshing. The system is grindy, straightforward and(for her)power progressive(fast).
Edit(36 chapter): Changed score after reading detailed reviews abit(especially oinos and ninetails). Though I have a different view on scoring, the minor errors are there, though not very impactful to the quality of the work and are becoming rarer. MC will hopefully pick up interesting long-term companions/side characters soon.
Edit: I think I'm kinda dumb to just realise she has a job that treats magic like qi. She literal has most the skills qi cultivators do.
I read almost 500 pages about a living fork. Admitedly the fork had some amazing abilities but still.
The first 6 chapters are quite repetitive. Like soufdeboef says, its the monologue of a fork, however after that it gets better as more interaction takes place.
Im hoping to read more of this interesting story.
I like this story in alot of ways but I can also find some small issues with it;
The Litrpg system is great, especially in the begining (alot of grinding, various systems of growth, it was great) but as you go further he needs larger amounts of time to progress(which is really only natural) and the system is pushed further into the background. Then there is the part where the system is managed by a satient being(perhaps limiting and controlling your growth) that might become the main opposition to the Mc, which makes me wince.
Honestly as I read more stories, Ive found that I prefer more easygoing protaginists and the MC in this story has been in a high-tension enviroment for so long that it is getting on my nerves abit.
From the description I thought it might be similar to 'When a plush comes to shove'(A light-heated teddy RRL novel). This is anything but light-hearted, it is full of intrigue and suspence. The novel is 100xmore awesome and 20xmore gruesome. With well paced character and skill growth, this is in the top 10 litrpg's I've read.