Personal opinion, but I think the end sequence of the original was better, this version added new scenes that helped answer some questions in the other stories so it excels there but some characters didn't feel like or act like the ones I came to enjoy since beyond so I was already pushing through but the end sequence changed in a way that made it seem more of a joke than the weight the original carried.
Read or try the original, choice is yours.
I'm not too sure how to rate this, as I feel this review is mostly based on personal opinion. My personal opinion being that I just don't feel any excitement reading this, the prose is good but weird at the same time, can't think of a word to describe it but it just doesn't flow smooth in some places as I have to back track and try and understand what the mc is saying or thinking.
Then as far as the story goes I just don't feel it, I won't exactly call it boring but 15 chapters in and the only thing I can feel from this story is depression, I don't care for the road/method to Godhood either, gathering flock and all that seems sooo...drab? I much prefer wuxia style, or hardwork with magic, so this just feels stale for me.
All said, not a bad story to be honest, I think the mc is sensible and an okay sort, just not someone I want to read about, much prefer a nathan drake uncharted style adventure than the vibes I get off this story.
This started out quite good, first chapter actually made me laugh a bit but I guess it's never good to judge a book by its first few chapters because this spiralled down the toilet so fast I suddenly remembered why I never make it past any if the authors first 20 or so chapters.
Calvin started out as a likable character, a little weird but in a good way imo, knew what he wanted and actually tried taking steps to get there but as the story progressed I just can't fingale what made me start to dislike the character, maybe it was the constant need for the author to make him everyone's plaything or excuse my French 'little bitch' or the fact that one moment his gritting his teeth in anger and swearing vengeance on the cannibals that devoured his friends and plan to make small chops out of him then the next second his thinking about humping the "somehow' bootylicious cannibal chiefs daughter, how terribly convenient and extremely foolish, but since the author decided that after writing or thinking up the sexy babarian chick and that he wanted a harem but couldn't see anyway to erase the fact that said vixen and her people just wiped out his village and are having his friends for dinner, he decides that a love potion is the way to go.
It just feels like the author has no plan and is jumping from idea to idea while trying to force it all to fit. I will say that I did enjoy the magic system, seemed fresh and really makes for some cool synergy.
I was originally going to pull another star for the bait and switch because I thought the author was writing a harem but didn't want to tag it as so for whatever reason but I can see the tags have been updated which further proves that he doesn't really know where this story is going but is following his lower head and whatever his patreon supporters suggest.
All said it a mediocre tale and hopefully I'll forget about it again soon. Have a nice day.
It seems that the author is too afraid of going down the dangerous slope of creating a boring/too powerful character that he doesn't see that also creating a too weak character can be just as bad because some of us will wonder just how the heck the dude is still alive when he can't even kill a low level monster, so he covers it up by constantly reminding us that the mc is lucky lucky lucky, sorry dude but the word you're looking for is plot armor, this is a story and writing believable lucky scenarios isn't easy, for example in far from home: when spiderman is all out of web shooters and has no way to get up the bridge to take out mysterio, he notices one of the drones earlier was still venting gas and was right underneath where he needs to go, so with a little ingenuity he pulled off a manoeuvre that got him where he needed to be, that's a believable stroke of luck, not when your character has absolutely nothing going for him but because luck, he survived a supposedly world ending horde of monsters that wiped out humanity to a few thousand survivors. The author also continues to remind us through various characters just how weak the mc is by having them call him such every few lines, like dude it's enough, we get it,he's weak if you think mentioning it every chapter will make us appreciate any growth in strength later on then I feel you're mistaken..it just makes anything he achieves have no impact because a few lines later someone is just going to tell him how weak he is again.
The dialogue can also be a bit cringy, like you should try and give some people a unique way of speaking, I feel like they all talk in the same voice, like there's a book I read where one of the mcs trained with swords since she was young and wasn't really literate so most of her metaphors and such tend to come in the form of cutting something up and sounds like a country bumpkin.
Every other aspect of the story is okay, some mistakes here and there but nothing too jarring.
All said ,give it a shot of you feel like, can't really recommend it as the story doesn't excite me but I can't really not because it's not bad either, I'm just not a fan of support character's, maybe if he was a legolas kind of archer I'd be more interested so it'd depend on your taste.
Style : not bad, simple, easy to follow but needs some editing in the earlier chapters, especially when it comes to POV changes.
Grammar: it's ok, honestly I think it just mostly needs edits or a good proof reader as most of the mistakes I see seem to be more of a problem of mis types than actual poor grammar on the authors part, so when you get a chance do go back and edit or ask someone to help you proofread.
Story: this is where I think the author shines as he's doing an admirable job of trying to make a compelling story of a character in the world of harry potter, rather than just hashing out the canon story and having us go through jk Rowlings story again, new parts of the wizarding world are introduced and possibilities for different and interesting adventures available, and the author still tries to give reasonable explanations as to why magic and situations e.g :the ministry of magic,work the way they do as seen in the books, this to me is a mark of great fanfic as seen in stories like : harry potter and the boy who lived by santi or Greg verder vs the world.
Character's: this area was okay, they were a bit animey in the earlier chapters and some characters still are but the author is doing a decent job of giving people good backstories and such that can make them relatable and how they influence their personalities, like Anna and the situation with her mom.
Overall I think you're into something good here and I'd recommend any that enjoy a good fanfiction to give it a try.
Found this when it was only a couple of chapters and while it seemed interesting I wasn't entirely sure I'd come back to it, but I have to say I'm glad I did as this story has a great deal of potential.
The author is doing really well in thinking through the actions and personalities of his mcs, no old hand mercenary/former assassin or whatever that behaves like the only thing he/she has assassinated was a slice of pizza, carrying naivety of children that haven't been more than 10 steps away from mommy in their entire lives. Here fracture is a dangerous, unpredictable and harsh world, where the person you save today could be the one that knifes you tomorrow all in the name of survival, and the mcs behaviour and mannerisms reflect that, even his less intense and go lucky companion doesn't fool around when shit gets down.
The cast introduced so far have been well thought out, heck you can even feel some empathy for the evil butterfly man, asshole he maybe but he doesn't reek of entire evil like some caricature villain and when you put into perspective what he is then you could see how someone could become the way he and his kind are.
All said, it's been a good 23 chapters so far,good dialogue and I'd definitely recommend it, more grease to your elbow and any other joints you may need it Mr. Vreasque.
Typical wank fantasy where harry is 11 and rich as f, heir to most ancient and noble houses, emancipated at 11, can already solve university grade science while 11..just the general nonsense OP Harry Potter fanfiction that are a dime a dozen these days..jerk of fantasy for the author rather than anything worthwhile, which is sad because after reading harry potter and the boy who lived by santi I actually had hope that one day another amazing fic will show up..its definitely not this.
The style is okay and not hard to follow, the story doesn't look promising and the characters are just 'meh'.. grammar is okay though there are mistakes here and there.
Oh, nice cover too.
Okay this seems stupid, why are mcs so retardedly naive in such situations..gives information freely when the interrogator will never be able to distinguish a lie from the truth..but yeah just tell him everything he needs to know, was he not taught stranger danger growing up? There's being stupid and there's lacking basic human common sense that you honestly wonder how this dude was supposedly working in the seedier part of the underworld to make ends meet for his brother..giving a character a background you cannot deliver on.
Now before I start I would like to point out that almost 90% of the time reviews are solely opinion based, just because someone thinks this or that of a story doesn't necessarily mean that someone else may not like it for those same reasons that the reviewer dislikes it.
All that said I'd like to start out by saying "what the actual f?..the way the 5 star reviewer's have been singing high praise of this novel, I jumped in here expecting something atleast on the level of super minion or beyond? Or heck deeper darker( crazy feminazis withstanding I can respect the character's moody has created, ubik has to be one of the most fun takes on a chaotic character I've seen , he's like the joker but more mildly insane and less full out psychopath with a dash of technophile), so after seeing all the : ' well fleshed out characters', 'organic story' ,' the character's are not bland' reviews, I started this story all hyped for my high adventure...25 chapters later I return to the fiction page and read through the reviews again, just to make sure I have the right book because a lot of things just ain't adding up.
Grammar: it's quite good, there are mistakes here and there but not to the level that it destroys the story.
Style: it's also alright, not flowery, just standard and par the course for most amateur authors you see today.
Story: To the reviewer's that say this story "hooks' you in, I have to ask: where's the hook? As this story is now, what questions or plot has been presented that makes you want to know more about what's going on with the mc and the world he's been Shanghaied to? I'm not saying that it may not appear down the line but as of this 25 chapters there's no plot, no intrigue, no action, no adventure, it's mostly just the mc killing slime, blacksmithing, learning pottery and building his skills..essentially a slice of life with stats. How bored do you have to be that seeing blue boxes and stats excites you? The story is bland, the magic system is bland...if this was a game that you had to play and this was the magic system introduced, do you really want to tell me that you'd have fun with spells like "refrigerate" or "aura"?..stylistic choices I know, but it doesn't make them any less bland.
Character's: nothing exceptional,more along the lines of mediocre and as bland as the rest of the story. Mc so far has just been a glorified mop.
In summary: this is not the worst story on this site, actually considering the quality one tends to find on royalroad this is actually upper mid tier, but if you come here looking for intriguing plots and exciting characters or story telling then you maybe very disappointed, would recommend if you've nothing better to read atm and just want to pass time. On the other hand if you're kink is blue boxes and stat increments with less plot and more slice of life then this is the story for you, but who knows it could be just extremely slow paced and we actually have the next star wars or something but till then it's been boring as f and either the 5 star reviewers are a cult/hive mind of followers of the author or they know the author personally and are trying to boost his rank, I know royalroad reviews can be very unreliable but this has to be one of the biggest false positives I've seen on this site.
As of chapter 20, I would say this is a good story. A good style, grammar could use some edits, and the author is doing a decent job to flesh out the character's and build the world. Now my only issue would be that the story seems a tad bit too slice of life for my tastes, like a Disney princess/high school story, not a bad thing but not what I'm looking for at the moment. All said ,it's a good story if action and mad fights aren't your speed or your looking to take a break from all that,then you would probably enjoy this. Best of luck to the author.