Mastersgtjames

***SPOILER***

Okay...

The Premise is good. Really.

MC transmigrates to Cultivation World.

Then, winds up transmigrating again to the X-Men Universe... sounds cool.

Except MC loses all Cultivation with an excuse like, transmigrating is taxing. Except he had no cultivation the first time. Also the cultivation in this story is supposedly unlocking latent potential in human genes.... so I guess MC had his potential re-locked?

Now (As of chapter 5-6) the story has turned into some trash isekai/erotica novel. Random girl needs help, becomes MC's Slave/Servant. Random girl randomly pleasures herself to "Master" while also randomly pleasuring "Master"...

Gah.

Honestly would not be surprised if this girl sprouted animal ears & a tail. 

Okay, so. The story is too early to give a true and proper review. BUT.

This needs to be made to the authors attention. As well as needing some traction.

So here. 

The story so far (i.e. 2 chapters) is short. I mean, each chapter feels like it is barely more than a paragraph. 

I think that if the author really wants to continue this story. Really wants to see it shine. He/She needs to take what he has. combine it. then add some more. Then you might be good for a first chapter. 

Otherwise, I mean. You would need to read like 10 chapters at this rate to have the proper experience/length of a single chapter. 

As stated before, this is just as a heads up to readers and more importantly the author. The scores reflect a story at its SECOND CHAPTER. So take them with the grain of salt they are intended to be taken with.

If the chapters are edited, the story improved. I will gladly remove this review as it is no longer relavent. 

Started kinda okay. Not really into Mind manipulation or slavery. But thats the Whole Theme here.

MC is a slave, who is repeatedly put down but manages to overcome...

Or, at least thats the premise.

In reality, you read about a supposed War Hero, who acts like a wet behind the ears officer. He is Repeatedly Nerfed. Constantly smacked down. The "Balacning" the system does is borderline non-existent. 

Biggest issue is the Side Characters. They keep putting down the MC, insulting or threatinging him. While at the same time constantly talking about how they are not close enough to not be formal in their behavior? MC constantly doubts his own actions and decisions even though he is a War Hero. 

Honestly. 

I keep coming back becuz I like Starcraft. I hope the potential in the story. 

BUT.

Story reads like watching 2girl 1cup. 

Constantly disgusted with either how the "System"/"System Administators" put down the MC, How side characters judge him when they have no right to. How the MC judges himself when he shouldnt.

UGH.

I like the story... 

I do.

It is just that the Author frequently goes on extended tangents.

It honestly feels like there are more story and depth to the side characters than the MC.

Probably because there are just as many side character/POV chapters as there are MC chapters... the story is getting dull with the incessant tangents.

Authors Notes are longer than the chapters... The text is too tight together and the story does not flow. Every chapter feels like an info-dump. Like it is trying to get certain info across to the reader. Without telling a story or really drawing the reader in. Makes everything very clunky... difficult.

I will start by saying... I like the premise and the concept of the story. 

However.

The MC's name is just ridiculous. Avo Cado? Naw, that's just a joke that gets dull after the synopsis.

MC's friend... Idk... maybe she adds something to the story for other people. For me, not so much. I think the story would be better with a single MC, solo story. 

Now, this next bit may come across as mean, but I do not intend it that way. The story feels twisted. Not bad, but as if it was arranged wrong. It skips where it should drag, and drags where it should skip. It is hard to describe. All I can say is that I find myself skipping almost entire chapters out of a lack of interest in the situation or the descriptions. Finding myself disliking the characters, their 2-dimensional behavior and lack of depth. 

I like the Synopsis (minus the sidekick MC that is Sala Malik), I like the MC, his motivations, the idea of this being a Dragon Ball Universe story not focused on martial combat but on magic... Then we get a fantastic MC, Great Motivation/background. Sadly, after that the story seems to skew. MC seems to take a backseat in his own story. Sidekick decides where he will go, leaves him there without his ship/possessions, then he just goes with it. He does not FEEL like he is super motivated to learn, to learn everything. Instead, he just feels like he is just shrugging through his experiences. You could have had chapters of detail on reuniting with his people, trying to learn more about them. Instead, we get just the bare facts, then into the Montage-esque training sequence. Only to slow down at weird points... Just feels weird.

To those who cannot stomach bad grammar. Who do not like Stories that read like poorly Machine Translated Web novels. I advise you to avoid/steer clear.

To those who can stomach this. Who can power through grammar to get the diamond in the rough? This may be the story for you. 

Read the first chapter. If how that is written does not kill the story for you, chances are you'll be fine. If not, then stop, cause it does not improve.

only 9 chapters so far... story feels pretty slow, find myself skipping sections just because it is cringey or Suuuper Cliche. The massive number of typos do not help.

Feel like the Story would have been better with just the MC, not with 6 people together... You have your sexy mature/intelligent woman, who of course is into our MC. Our MC who was seemingly raised to be OP but while on earth he could never use those lessons.

You have the nerd who thinks ahead but is really a nice guy. The ditzy bimbo with a heart of gold. The token black man that seems wise and helpful who is the first to die.  

Then, of course, you have the Jock. The muscle brain coward who intimidates mocks, threatens, and challenges everyone. Who happens to, big surprise here, get everyone caught. Only for he himself to join up with bandits/slavers who capture them. Now he has the power and the "freedom" to use it. So he of course tortures and mocks everyone. 

SUUUUPER CLICHE!!!!!!!

I mean. The story would be better if the MC was transported alone. Then you have this forced cliffhanger where the MC has the ability to get stronger and the knowledge of how to use that strength. BUT. He cannot get strong enough in time to use it to save them..... Ugh..... it just feels so forced. I literally found myself skipping almost entire chapters because I KNEW what the characters would say and do. They were that predictable. Then at chapter 9, I find myself really unsure about this story... almost 10 chapters in now, I like the premise but the story is just cannot hold even a sliver of my attention anymore.

So I write this review. For those who may or may not want to read it now.

Mostly I write it to serve the purpose a review should. As a highlight for the author to identify areas of the story that need revision. So Author... please, take these criticisms in, do not get angry. Instead, correct the story. If you doubt whether these issues need fixing. Check to see how many agree with me. Maybe this is just me.... if not, then please do a rewrite... or just something to overhaul it as it is.

had a lot of hope for the story.... but it only turned out to be a borderline narrated video game.... People have a system Classes, HP, Quests, Fame, starter area's/towns, even are able to respawn. 

Story starts by describing that as a Harrow (MC Race) you comefrom a mysterious unknown land that is not spoken of. 1st day in a village and everyone is asking about where he came from and the tavern owner comments about people from other dimensions without magic. seriously.

So the story contradicts itself and instead of having realism or fantasy, it is just a narrated game... if you are not into that. Which I for one am not... I'd recommend avoiding.

There needs to be a review to "heads-up" people... so here.

This is an annoyingly dumb story... 

It started off looking like it might... maybe... be good.

Like it had some real promise.

Then every character introduced is beyond nerfed. The MC is an idiot of a degree/scale I have never seen.

I mean. Imagine a MC who tells/exposes his secrets to every person he meets. In a world he has never been to, and knows nothing about. 

A MC who accepts everything at face value.

The you have side characters, who are, at best, 1/20th of the MC's stats (lvl, stats, etc.) but have items and abilities that the MC only has becuz he has a nerf'd OP ability.

This story just went... extremely, off the rails for me.

Give it a shot if you do not care or do not mind these kinds of situations. 

But if like me, you cannot stand certain levels of incomprehension. Then I advise you avoid this.