mightykk

mightykk

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Halfway to Home

I read this to the end, and boy was that a slog.

I persisted , since the premise was interesting and the plot original. 4.5 star for story score.

The dialog is terrible however and kind of ruined the entire experience.

In early chapters it seems like characters are constantly interrupting each other. This disrupts the narrative flow.

Later this reduces a bit, however this makes other flaws more noticable. The MC has an attention span a goldfish would hold in contempt. The MC is shown to be in the middle of something, and then they are reminded to do that same thing (by themselves, others or the author's narrative) in the very next sentence. This carries on thru a large portion of the novel. 2 stars for style

Since the author chose to drive the characterization  by dialog and the dialig sucks, 2 stars for characterization.

Over all, the story has good potential, but author needs to improve their writing aesthetic.

Reviewed here instead of Amazon.


polyglot(

This story is a hidden jem.

Review at chapter 5: Recommended for all litrpg fans.

The characters are believable, the plot is immersive, only the transitions could be better. Maybe line breaks to indicate the new scenes?


A Hero Past the 25th: Paradise Lost

Thank you for this excellent story.

Hope you write a sequel!

The world is well thought out and believable. The characters are real. And the writing is good. What more can a reader ask for?

In fact I believe, we few readers of this story, have been treated to a hidden gem.laughing


The Magus of Origin

Bad characterization of MC spoils this story

Reviewed at chapter 8.

Sorry I can't read this..

The reason being, the MC is not OK.

The MC is introduced as a person who has previously worked thru anger issues with the help of a beloved sensei. Why then have the first 8 chapters shown him as an emotional mess?

  • The sensei passed away previously, long before the beginning of the story. Why is he in the grieving process now?
  • An initial shock at being transported to another world is fine, but by chapter 8, and more than a month later, he is still acting like he is in shock and holding on to an idiot ball.

Also the MC is incredibly inconsiderate to the villagers. He acknowledges to himself that he is mooching of the villagers hospitality, but when they give him a pick and try to make him work, he breaks the pick. Back in chapter 1, the MC is shown as a self-sufficient homesteader and now we see he can't use a pick. Also he fully emo at the time for no really understandable reason.

Apart from the characterization of the MC the story is good. There is an original  twist to the summoned to another world plot device. The grammar and style are also fine.


The Bounty Hunter

Good story, however only 3 stars, because every thing is an ass-pull. If the chapters are ever revised to add a Chekhov's Gun for all or even most of the setting I will re-rate to 4.

(Yes, I wouldn't mind reading this again laughing )