I have never played a sandbox mmo before, but after reading this I am going to have to, it seems harsh but fun at the same time. now back to the story:
Overall score: 5/5 due to this being a great story that I cant wait till the next chapter everyweekend.
Style: 5/5 I like Marks stlye, and it flourishes here seeing as the chapters are alot longer giving him more room to make the chapters flow well.
Story: 5/5 great. just amazing, the world building is belevable and it seems like he has alot of thought into how the VR actually works, the whole caser idea is amazing. dont know if I would be comfertable with someone putting a machine in my skull that has the ability to record what you see and induce hallucinations but who knows what the future brings.
Gramer:5/5: while there are some issues like spelling, they dont hender the reading and as such they are much better then like 90% of RRl so have a cookie.
Characters: 10/5 if I could I would give him 10 stars, I dont know how he does it but the characters are all flawed in very human ways, and they are easy to connect to, this is one of his best works right up there with penance, IDK but this seems to be his strongest part of his writing, the characters are always fun to read and have a load of depth to them, if you dont beleave me go read reviews for his other fics, tons of the reviews always talk about the depth of the chars, if that many people say it it cant be wrong right?
TLDR: Amazing cant wait for more.
Some of the stroy feels to rushed, but the author listens to his readers and adds in not only there suggestions but also there ideas and questions, lots of reader interactivity. Also he posts everyday, so lots of content!
keep up the good work
Ok so let me preface this by saying that I am not a big fan of VRMMO style novels, with that said however I might be converted with this novel. This is really, really good, so with that out of the way lets get to the review shall we?
Style: this book oozes with it, there is a comedy to the mix that you can feel the story starts(That tutorial tho lol) it is a really fun read that doesn’t bog you down with a lot of text boxes like most VRMMO novels do.
Story: I like that this one has more of a connection with the real world, it is a game, and one of the main characters is using this as a way to escape(more on that in the character section.) this makes the game world feel like it could actually exist, and it makes one wonder what it would be like to be one of the npc’s in a world like this.
Grammar: Pretty damn good, in the entire 14 or so chapters that I have read I only found one or two, so really good job!
Characters: This is the most crucial part of any story if you ask me, and let me say this is what carries the book, Francine for example(one of the two main characters) is someone I can connect with as I myself have lost a loved one in a tragic event(my fiancé died in a car crash almost five years ago.) And maybe I am just looking into it too much but the slow degradation that is shown in this book that she goes through mirrors my own path into the game mortal online when Anna died.
So all in all this is an awesome book that deserves attention for it beautiful and detailed story, I am hitting that follow button now, can’t wait for more.
ok, so this really is an interesting concept, albeit it is not quite my cup of tea I can always appreciate when a writer puts thought and effort into their writing. So to start off, let’s look at the pros
- the story has a light tone that makes reading it an enjoyable experience
- the characters are well defined, if a little cliché for novels like this
3.the laxed pace of the story once again lets the reader read it a leisurely pace
- grammar is pretty good.
now for the cons
- there is no explanation to be found in this story, I am the type of person that likes knowing what the setting is, this story needs some exposition. is this an alternate reality America? Were all these games that she draws her powers from released the same as irl or does she just know about them and no one else. How did she get her powers? Where did the monsters come from? Have they always been there? Are they new to the world(which would explain the civilians reactions.) I don’t know, you haven’t told me in the story.
2.The characters, they are both a pro and a con, you see they are cliché and with that means that I cannot connect with these characters.
3.needs more description of environments, and people, I have no idea what this city looks like, is it like new York? Sci fi? Please work on the description of the environment
All in all this story just really needs more, more exposition, and explanation, the characters know the world because they live in it, but I as the reader however feel like I am walking around with a blind fold, I cant see your writing needs to be my eyes into this world.