kronosxviii

kronosxviii

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Fictions
Reviews
Godfather and Godson

Really needs editing.  There are loads of errors all over the place wither it be grammar, incorrect spelling usage, or sentences that are seemingly two different thoughts mashed together.  You'll run into them frequently. 

I don't understand why people downvote reviews that point these areas of improvement out.  As doing so chokeholds any and all potential improvement a writer and possible author could have. 

Blindly giving someone 5/5 stars in the grammar section of the advanced reviews is more harmful than good when there's so many obvious errors all over the place.


Grand Arcanist: A Warcraft(Fan)Fiction

Overall I found it intriguing after reading all of the available 15 chapters.  The main issue I have though, is that the volume of errors is quite massive.

While it wasn't mentioned, I'm of the opinion that the author's main language isn't English which would explain the mistakes throughout the story.  While I don't mind secondary English authors, others find their works frustrating to read.


Legacy of Terra

A not so Warhammer 40k, Heaven

It's been at least a year since a story has immersed me as much as this one has.

Style: 

The authors style of writing feels well set in stone and luckily for us readers it's a positive thing because the pacing is great.

Story:

Surprisingly even though there are 18 chapters at the point in time of this review being made, the story has a LOT of depth to it.  Or at least I can feel the abyss just beyond the horizon that this story will drag us to.

Grammar:

Overall the story has very few mistakes and thankfully the author is one of the reasonable ones on RoyalRoad who is will to work with people on fixing them.

Character(s):

I like the main character and the secondary cast, though we've only been looking at the external layers I'm sure the onions will continue peeling away at a reasonable pace as the story continues.

Interactions between characters feels real and more importantly side characters feel like real people and not blocks of wood with smiles sharpied onto their faces. :3


The Hunter - Trilogy

Seems to have lost its focus

Book 1: Good

Book 2: Was Ok.  Even the author admitted that towards the ending of book 2 that it would've turned into a copy pasta fest causing it to become very boring.  As such, the ending of book 2 felt emptier than the vacuum of space.

Book 3:  Ongoing...  Honest the author should probably add the 'slice of life' tag to the fiction page at this point, because around 80-90% of book 3 is just that 'slice of life'.  There's nothing wrong with that usually, but the story has come to a ssssslllllloooooowwwwww crawl. 

I mean, I guess we don't always need a explosive, exciting, interesting, well thought out, well paced, story filled with hidden currents and political intrigue.  Then there's that other side of my mind that screams: ''MORE DAKKA!!!''

Oh and as per usual in Boku's stories there's only one male in the main cast because men are eviiiilllllllll.... "J/k'ing"  Or am I?


Overlord in Cultivation

I went into it thinking it's a novel being written by the poster, but it turns out that it's a translation with permissions given and varified with RR and other relevant parties.

Anyway, I only read through the first chapter and decided to give it a hard pass. 

It's very headache inducing.

The best way to describe it, is that it was translated without being proofread, like at all.  As such there's a lot of misused and out of tense word usage. It felt very disjointed as it's difficult to get a grasp of what was going on since it cycles through the tenses rapidly, often mid sentence. Past, Present, Future.  Fk if I know.

 


Rohan's Calling Online

I wanted to give this a try since I've noticed that it updates quite often, but my god the errors.  I made it to chapter four before I started swearing at the story for all the immersion breaking errors.  Ragequit after chapter twenty as I just couldn't focus on the story enough to stay interested.


The Strongest Skill: Getting rich while becoming stronger

3/21/2019:  Rage quit as of chapter 174 of 200

 

Style:

For such a horrid story, this is probably the only thing this author has going.  His/her style is consistant with good pacing and seems te be fairly set in stone, wither that's good or bad is entirely subjective.

 

Story:

An average take on the "dungeons in the modern world" setting.

SUFFERS, heavily from a severe case of:  "X only matters when the author feels like it / remembers something they wrote previously."

Spoiler: Spoiler

 

 

Grammar:

Was going to be 0.5 stars, but the author started using tools to "help" with his/her writing so: 1 star.

Overall quality ranges from understandable too purely nonsensical, literally there are times I have no idea what a sentence is supposed  to mean.  While rare you will run into sentence that would fit the following example:

Imagine someone with the intent of asking why the color of the sky is blue by saying: "Sky light water?"

To native speakers of English that sentence doesn't mean anything, but to non native speakers it would make sense if that's the best they can do.  Afterall I'm sure if I were to go to Germany and attempt to speak their language it would sound like pure nonsense to them.

Other than the usual large volume of errors you can expect of RR stories this author has a unique case of: wrong~word~itis.  The most common(chuckels) is when he/she uses "common" when trying to say "come on."

I'm going to assume it's a classic case of: spellcheck says it's right so it's right, which is similar to Todd Howards: "It just works."

 

Character(s): If I could go below 0.5 stars... I would.

Every. Trash. Japanese. Character. Trope. Possible.  Is present or is going to be. 

Main:

The main character is simply in every sense, a moron.  He's Japanese so like "all" Japanese people he's "kind & proper" even to the point of having no self respect.  Every female character that has more than one sentence describing their looks falls for him.  Every interaction with said characters made me cringe in some way or another.

There's... Just so much wrong with this character that I'm could write a novel on it, but I'll just paraphrase my favorite inner monologue line of his:

"Afterall I'm not some character in a story with plot armor."

He has so much plot armor he might as well have a God Tier skill called: "Plot Armor."

Side(cancer) Characters:

Do you know what Tropes are?  Because I'm struggling to think of a character that doesn't fit a J-Trope.

Every non-antagonist characters' sense of professionalism, experience, and personality disappear within a few sentences with the main character.  Turning into love struck damsel's or Yes-Men/Women.  They literally turn into NPC's, and while it's amusing in the short turn it gets boring fast.

Antagonists, I don't think there's been a real threat this entire time except for the main characters delusions in the face of his plot armor.  They're glorified glorified hit boxes that turn from masters minds to super powerful fighters that turn into paper tigers due to plot-armor and his NEED to look cool in front of beauties.


Shades of grey

Just read up to the latest chapter of: Kathol rift (08/16/2018)

Overall it's enjoyable and entertaining when you're out of other things to read or just want a different genre.  Now, time to butcher it :D

Style:

Reads like a new others novel.  Meaning the author hasn't yet fully developed a true style to his/her writing.

Sacrifices editing for rushing out new chapters.

Story:

As noted, highly entertaining, for a while.  Then it becomes a bit stale... nah just becomes stale as most world building stories do without a end goal in mind.

Feels less like a story and more like a serialized comic that doesn't go anywhere while following the SW: Legacy timeline.

Grammar:

As mentioned above, the author sacrifices editing for chapter upload speed.  Have you ever seen so many unnecessarys ands impropers "S"s beforesss.  There's like thousands millions billions even quadrillions!

^(sarcasm) If you couldn't tell.

If this ever does get published, unlikely because of Disney, it's going to require a COLOSSAL amount of editing.

Character(s):

The main and side characters are really interesting for the first... 30 chapters or so... Then everything kind of smears together into a kind of bland character archetype where everyones the same just with different names.

Good way to summarise the character problem is that it suffers the typical "too large of a harem" problem where there are so many one shot characters that you only see once or twice that any personality or "nonpower level" related character development for the "main" cast gets forgotten, disgarded, and thrown out the window.  Or airlock in this case.


Rise of the Desolate Star

Are the other Reviewers Trolling the Author?

The synopsis is useless.

Many sentences are overly convoluted.

Author is inconsistent and forgetful of the things he writes, ex:  At one moment the MC is about to enter combat with a pseudo alli and it suddenly transitions into explaining the fact that the MC lost his ammo due to an earlier incident whilst explaining: the world and some of the magic system. (Oh, sorry iss this a long run-on sentence?  There are ALOT of those.)

Followed by a sudden break in the page with no warning

Combat starts with lots of inner monologue(that's fine).  Oh wait, he has arrows again.  pewpewpew.... (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

(sighs) I'll continue reading and if it's still frustrating, I may reduce my score even more to balance out all these over-the-top 5 star ratings. 

Christ people, if your review is x is good, y and z are bad don't give it a 5/5 rating.  Give it something lower so people can find out where the problems are and more importantly what to expect to see in the story.  THIS ALSO helps the author look for what he/she needs to improve upon/edit in his/her work.

 

.........................................................................................................................

After reading to chapter 30, I'll give it an 'Eh, it's ok.'

Still spends way too much time explaining things.


The King is Back

This review is more to balance out others ridiculously positive ratings.  This story isn't perfect, hell there are no perfect stories on RRL.  As such this one has A LOT to improve upon.

Style:

I get the feel the author hasn't yet found his/her personal style as of yet.  Reading it is giving me the itch in the back of my mind that this will just be another bland weaboo story.  Where there are a few good ARCS then it just kind of goes on and on because there wasn't a planned or well thought out conclusion.

Grammar:

While... capable of being understood it's just that.  It reads like the author has an idea of what he/she wants to say, with an idea of how to say it, but because he/she did not grow up speaking english the story is written in a manner that no fluent native would actually speak in.

Hmm, the best way to think of it is when comparing differing dialects of another language together, although similar: many dialects have very very different sentence structures etc.

Story:

The story itself is actually quite interesting and could be very unique although the lack of style and the grammar issues make reading the story a struggle.

Character:

If you have seen one generic weabo main character you have seen them all.  Or that's my current feeling when it comes to this characters archtype.