Clicked on this cause I'm a masochist and didn't read Grekeren's review.
Got what I expected. Indigestion.
Another failed story of an MC too powerful to be interesting. There are no other characters in this story in fact. Anyone the MC converses with is a shadow figure not even substantial enough to be a cardboard caricature.
On the plus side grammar and spelling were mostly flawless, I think.
To balance the half star rating I gave the last story I looked at. Also is good.
I couldn't get through half of the first paragraph, this is unreadable at this point in time. If anyone can work through this they have the patience of a saint and/or the mental fortitude of a brick.
The biggest problem I have with this story is that it fails in the adage: Show, don't tell.
The entire story up to where I've read (Ch. 7) has been a monologue of the MC telling us what is happening. Sometimes a little repetitively if I'm not confusing this with another story.
It's also a bit boring since there is no perceived peril to the protagonist. He has no weakness. There is no visible method of winning against him.
Nuked from orbit? Body hop as seen in Prologue.
Binged through the 37 chapters, last one titled You Cheater. Feels like a complete volume, despite the synopsis implying more to come possibly.
The English is rough, lots of confused spelling, capitalization, grammar issues. The speech quotations were hard to follow, with each sentence being its own line regardless if it was the same speaker.
While I'm not the biggest fan of Grammarly, this could use a healthy dose of that treatment. Seriously, sign up for an account if you haven't and copy-paste-review your chapters one at a time
I want to take off extra stars somewhere for using the Mount Tai-Eyes phrase.
I am a bit of a language elitist, but I did like what I read and hope for more.
edit: dropped my scoring, dropping the story. Editing needs persist, story has devolved somewhat into a convoluted mess of generic tropes some without clear logical basis.
Author has said there will be a rewrite, we'll see more then perhaps.
Just read the first chapter, I'll probably continue to read chapters unless this gets truly atrocious.
This needs what my review title says, editing. There are places with missing, wrong, and redundant words throughout, not necessarily mispelled. I don't think the grammar is off but running this through grammarly would probably catch most errors.
The story such that is in the first chapter is basic with, thus far, cardboard characters with a lofty backstory. It's middle grade-school quality stuff in my opinion.
That said, heartstrings are tweaked at the implied coming tragedy.
Started reading this while looking for my next fix. Despite the name I gave it a chance, occassionally good or decent stories have poor names.
Not so this one, I made it maybe halfway through the fifth chapter before my eyes started skimming and skipping around. This reads like a stream of thought monologue about a summoned military convalescent that is granted a large lump sum in spite of declining service to his summoners, he seemingly has absurd martial prowess beyond any other even being blind in one eye. All this before learning magic, which is if you have the affinity imagine it and it will happen. The protagonist inevitably has all the affinities along with the inestimable stamina required to use.
Conversation is rare and, as in my title, consquences to actions are non-existent. Using 3% of the granted money from the king he buys out the inventory of a slave merchant of some 400 slaves, only to go back the next morning pre-dawn to save 3 more (non-human princesses) by killing said merchant and going full arsonist with his magic super powers as his massive retinue marches, unimpeded, directly to the non-human alliance nations... Where he is set up as a king of a territory.
All in all an outline to an outline, needs a whole lot of work if it is intended to be taken serious. Probably just a word vomit session for the author.
Enjoying the story, seems to be moving a little fast but it's interesting. Writing is pretty decent without blatant offense given to the English language, just a few mispelled words and confused homonyms.
Here's hoping it carries out to a lengthy (at least 20 ch.) and satisfying conclusion.
I swear I hate the psychological tag, but...
This story has an amazing depth, well beyond just about any other story I've read on the internet, not just RRL. This demands publishing in calligraphied hardback and paperback, not just the typical amazon or otherwise digital release.
I haven't said it for any other story on this site but this qualifies for a movie script or maybe even a TV or Netflix miniseries.
We don't have enough stars for this, I'm gonna have to go back to most of my other reviews and reduce their scores so I can normalize the values.
This might be able to become a good story but, as of ch. 10, feels dull. Starting in the first chapter there's no surprise at an intruder or disbelief it's a demon just, " Oh? Want a sandwich? I thought demons would be meaner. "
MC gets shot at by crazy (ex-)BF. She calmly calls her friend and heads there, friend calls police, they eat dinner.
There's a family conspiracy I was excluded from? That's neat.
Grandma is going to/ wants me dead? Well, you win some, you lose some.
In general nothing impacts the main character.