obran

obran

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Fictions
Reviews
The Tower

On the surface this is a bog standard Tower story.  All the players are locked in the game.  Reaching the top of the tower frees everyone.  This is the stuff of Sword Art Online, The Towers of Heavan, etc...

But that is only the surface.  Where this web fiction shines is the interpersonal relationships between the characters, the NPCs and the Guilds.  

There is the drama over what to do with a team mate who keeps screwing up, kick him out and you lose his wife a valued guild member.  There is the pain of the player who is in love with an NPC -- after the team wipes and they all have to start new level 1 characters, his NPC love no longer recognises him.  There is the brother-sister dynamic of her being a senior raid leader and him the kid brother not wanting to look like he advanced through nepotism.  

Great stuff.  I look forward to reading more.

If I had to make any suggestions...

1) Get a cover if you want more readers

2) Add a lot more Social classes.  A lot of people might not want to always raid and fight, there should be room for minstrels, gamblers, merchants, bankers, crafters, heralds, politicians, architects, cooks etc... as playable classes. 

3) keep diverging from the standard.  The restart in a new random body with a random class is awesome.  Though I wonder why people don't keep rerolling/jumping off the cliff until they get great stats rather than a favorite class.  Same as stripping and giving your starter gear and money to a buddy before jumping off the cliff -- to sell later as a minor exploit. 

Anyway keep up the great work.  Love the story so far.


Soul of a Hunter

I really enjoyed this fiction.  I lso noticed that the author had 5 other fictions anfd I'm hoping that they are all set in the same world.


Polyrhythm Time -- A Bard's Tail

I enjoyed this.  The MC is a bit irritating for the first few chapters until you start to get his obession, but after that it is enjoyable.  

I only have two problems with this story. 

The first is that the main character mostly talks about music from the 70's through the 90's ... which is fine.  But considering that the setting is a proffessional musician from 2050 well... I find it doubtful that a serious musican would be that obsessed with the "oldies".  It would be a bit like David Grohl, Meg White, or Brian Denvendorf being obsessed to the exclusion of all else with Bennie Goodman and Ragtime music. 

Maybe his Five Guys and their Schticks (sounds like a burger joint) is a band kind of like Postmodern Jukebox doing an old take on a new thing.  Maybe late 20th century music was a kind of golden age that was short. I don't know.  

My second problem is a bit more prosaic.  If the MC is going to dwell on the music he dwells on, where is Tom Waits?  Tom Waits is a God, though not a drumming god and deserves a place of honor among the pantheon.


The Silver Mana - Book 1: Initiate

I'm supposed to be writing a review since the author has gotten to a point where he thinks he needs one.  That's fine.  I like the book and I think it is worth reading.

I'll be honest. I really liked the first version of the book and while there are some differences this go around, I still can't say if it is better or worse than the first incarnation.  I gave the other edition 5 stars, and I'm doing the same for this one. 

I just want more content or at least divergent content before I can really say what's on my mind.  Don't get me wrong.  Editing, proofreading, and rewriting are all valuable and worthwhile pursuits.  I'm doing the same to one of my own fictions.  I salute the writer for doing this.  But as a reader... well I kind of want more story.   


Tethralin (LitRPG)

In which a Murder Hobo ambles pointlessly around

No real plot.  No real progression.  No real goals.  Just a main character who moves from completely random event to completely random event, killing everything that gets in his way.


Rebirth, but not quite.

I am a sucker for reincarnation fictions

Chilid is reborn with inborn knowledge of earth but no memories.  He is aware from birth and is treated as a kind of genius.  Lives in a matriarchy where his family is part of the military.  

This is a fairly standard reincarnation story, but it is a whole lot of fun so far.  It does borrow a lot from my own reincarnation fiction, but then immitation is the best form of flattery. Looking forward to reading more.


Illusion/Core

On one hand, I am reluctant to leave a critique

On one hand, I am reluctant to leave a critique simply because the story isn't far enough in that I can see where the story is headed... On the other hand, the story so far is quite well done and I am enjoying it immensely.  

This is the story of Raven a girl living in an alternate universe, where, in recent history, the world changed and everyone woke up one year later with no idea what happened in the missing year.  Now, however, everyone is much more multicolored and has access to two magic powers -- illusion and core.  

So far the story has revolved around the awakening of the Core power in Raven.  This has involved examining a lot of Raven's self-doubt and her pride in her illusion skills.  

All in all, it is a good start, and I look forward to reading the new chapters every week.  


I Was a Teenage Necromancer

This is a bit like early Jim Butcher lite where Harry Dresden is still in High School. He's got the police liaison, the supernatural murder mystery that only someone with magical powers can help solve.  He's got the sidekick in the form of a 16-year-old girl ghost.

It doesn't have the Butcher humor yet and the politics of the wider worlkd of Wizard / Faerie / Warlock, society isn't there.  Keep in mind this isn't really urban fantasy but it has its roots in that pond.

Definitely recommended.  


Dark Wizard's Case. LitRPG series

Not sure about this one.  In the very early stages.  Narrator seems to be headed towards being some sort of white hat dark mage.  Weird mechanic whereby the secret world of magic is introduced through an augmented reality lens.


The Sunset Squire

the only problem I can find with this fiction is that I want more chapters.

honetly, I didn’t think I’d like it, but I couldn’t put it down.