Please note that I grade with 2.5 Stars being the average among stories, NOT 5 stars.
The style of this story is interestingly uncommon.
In a short explanation: it is similar to Classical translated literature.
There isn't a grammar issue as much as sentence construction, several sentences that appear are uncommon in English or are an unusual variant of the phrase.
Grammar often isn't noticeable because we only really care about it when it IS a problem. The grammar usage in this story is better than a majority of the other RRL stories, and while it isn't anywhere near perfect, it's still very good.
Every character has a past.
Many modern stories have characters that actions as acting due to their social position, or the influence of their peers, this story is unusual because most actions are dictated by their past instead of how they "should" act it feels more like how they "would" act. Ultimately this creates many interactions which are somewhat uncommon currently, adding to the interest of the story.
A good story is hard to write, too slow and you lose interest, too fast, and it looks rushed.
While the style of this story would make one wish the chapters were longer and more plentiful, the story itself is really interesting and has a lot of potential for the future. While I severely hope this has a shorter run time than a story like Naruto, I have high hopes for the future of this story overall.
GOING DEEPER ANALYSIS:
at length, there are many parts to this style which make it interesting.
Lexile scoring is a concept that is being adopted by several American schools, it breaks down the "reading level" of a reader and matches it to the "complexity" of a literary work.
If someone were to smooth out the grammar mistakes of a hundred RRL works the majority would fall into an elementary or middle school rating as they're meant to be simple. This one would probably rank on a high school level.
This obviously implies that this style is incredibly hard to pull off, yet has potential and many deeper layers to it. With the consistency of the author in mind, it obviously deserves a higher score.
But that style is also one of the biggest pitfalls for this story, stories like these often need to be read all at once - people forget too many important events that occur, and it can take away from the meaning of the story if the gaps between releases are too long.
Also, the second large issue I have with this style is that web releases tend to lack the details and depth necessary to bring out the full potential of this style. I sincerely hope that in the future the author will take the time to write out this book in its entirety.
To note: Despite the issues with the style the author does a great job of at least keeping a consistently interesting and easily memorable plot so that even if facts are forgotten a reader can still return to the work.
Grammar: 4/5 stars
The grammar mistakes in this story are very subtle and rarely affect readability.
Although there are several errors hidden throughout the chapters most of them come down to misuse of commas and semi-colons.
There are of course other more noticeable errors that demonstrate a need for a PR or Editor if they wish to improve their work.
For example from the first chapter:
"She saw him [moving moving] his hand to a hidden gun on him[,] she also noticed the perspiration on his forehead."
Excluding some mild rewriting for flow, the sentence above should be "Moving his hand" and the comma there should be a semi-colon.
However, these mistakes rare occur and don't degrade the readability which is a refreshing change from many other works on Royal Road Legends.
Character: 5/5 stars
A commonly known fact is that one of the largest difficulties of writing is creating an interesting character. Describing someone as an ultra powerful and holy saint won't earn any respect from the readers, instead to create a character that readers can be interested in, and bond to, it is necessary to have the character be an "actor" or have actions.
In most stories, there is a heavy focus on the "actions of now."
To make an example: what is the character doing right now?
Beginning of the book: "Gasp, character is mercilessly slaughtering people!!"
Middle of the book: "Gasp, character questioned blatant slaughter?!"
End of the book: "Gasp! Character saved the world!!! that makes me so happy, what development!"
What is rare amongst literary works is to have any focus on the past of the character, especially in most modern literature in which the past of the character is often just an excuse to shoehorn in a hidden power. "MC was a super assassin!" results in random immunity to poison. it is incredibly refreshing to have a character who as a result of having been a super assassin has ACTUAL mental and psychological disorders.
Also to note, that many stories neglect the psychological and long-term effects of past trauma, it is refreshing to see a character who has their past traumas affecting the current story and having that continue for longer that just a few chapters.
Of course, there is absolutely no reason to rate all the characters 5/5 by the grace of a single character. Having Lucy by Nightingale's side is fascinating. Lucy may seem idiotic and naive, but she is a fairly honest representation of how most of the actual populace acts. (please don't naively call her shallow) It's interesting to think of how a cold-blooded killer's logic would change or affect people simply by being around them. (looking at you chapter 6)
One of the good things to see is that the author is also taking their time in introducing new long-term characters in order to favor developing the currently known characters. This gives the hope that each new member of the team will also receive their own backstories and be developed beyond a shallow side character making a diverse and interesting cast.
With only six chapters I cannot rate this story a full 5/5 much as I want to.
From personal experience and having read a significant amount of psyche, it's pretty obvious that the author knows full well just how bad situations in life get, their descriptions of Nightingale's reactions and trauma is highly believable, making the story also highly credible. Also to the story's benefit, there aren't many plotholes visible in the story despite it having a pseudo-fantasy layer to it.
a few points are docked in my mind due to the seemingly forced progression of the characters, but as more recent experiences in my life dictate... well mental illness is not on anybody's clock, so the actual effects are still quite reasonable.
There are also many subtle events that have already occurred in the story; each chapter has several references and actions which very well could impact the entire future of the story as a whole, not just the chapter. This means that people re-reading this story will be able to catch new and interesting things that completely change the meaning of certain scenes.
Potential is A+
this story may not look like much yet, but as more chapters come out, it will definitely be worth the time to read.
Every author has to start somewhere.
I'm not going to be apologetic for the harsh rating because it is an honest one.
Also, this is critiquing the author as an essential play by play.
Spoilers will be referenced.
At first glance, the title, while generic is pretty good and does draw interest, so that's a bonus, however in the synopsis THE VERY FIRST THING that a reader sees there are a couple of spelling errors. If anything this is where your book starts and unless it's a troll fiction, it should be clean of most errors.
On to the prologue!
Who cares! We, the readers, aren't here for your rambling. Gives us something interesting damn it! You've generated a prologue that will ONLY attract attention from those completely new to Xianxia, and at that point, I'd heartily recommend they read an actual work... like ISSTH.
The reason why I'm stressing this is that the Prologue is almost as important as your synopsis for luring in readers, and if the prologue reads like "blah blah blah cultivation stereotypes blah blah blah" you've completely FAILED to hook anyone.
In the future, if you want to have a prologue you really should think of ways to make it novel even to veteran readers of Xianxia. The current prologue is just annoying. To be honest, I'd tell anyone who's read even a couple chapters of Xianxia once in their lifetime to skip over the prologue and go to chapter 1.
On to Ch. 1!
"The county of Fire. A county located north of the continent of Azazel, boarded by the county of water and wind. Controlled by a single clan famously known as the Crimson clan. While the county of water is ruled by the Aqua clan and the Ventus clan lead the county of wind."
NOPE! ABSOLUTE NOPE!
You have just introduced 7, SEVEN, notable groups at the same time. To an author, readers are like women; you RARELY gangbang women! Especially those you just met!!!
This chapter is nigh unreadable with the spelling and tense errors...
"if someone do manage to capture one of the Elemental soul."
"If someone does manage to capture one of the Elemental Souls."
STOP THROWING MID GAME TERMS WHEN YOU HAVEN'T BUILT UP THE EARLY GAME!
You've gone from introduction of the MC to worldbuilding. This is not a transition! This is not easy to transition to! This is not good reading!!!
Phew. Wait what?! I'm only a third of the way through ch.1?!
Wait... this is literally in the wrong order. SO many issues could be solved putting the training chunk BEFORE the worldbuilding chunk! You set a foundation AFTER you built the house!!!
Needless throwing of idioms~! Yay! Idioms are idioms because they're uncommon phrases commonly understood, yet here are two idioms in one sentence... that is what we call purple prose.
On to ch. 2! I've lost interest at this point proceed by amusing self through wittiness!
Cultivation convenience store now open for business! Come one, come all! We've got legendary books on the floor and crystals falling from the sky!
Hello! my name is "the legendary encyclopedia of conveniently related knowledge" that dates back several thousand years! I even know the people who failed to do small things, like when they dropped their fork!
Ah, the legendary Fate armor! "why do these sexy girls who're in love with me keep falling from the sky!?" 'it's Fate bruh.'
On to ch. 3!
CALL IT THE FREAKING DESERT COUNTRY! IT DOESN'T NEED A FANCY NAME.
"the author introduced something inconvenient, but our MC already has access to the convenient counterpart so why do the readers care? oh, wait, it's worldbuilding."
Oh look! everyone knows legendary knowledge!
Oh, look! Everyone is at the legendary realm which can absorb world Qi!
On to Ch. 4.
This isn't even Xianxia at this point... its essentially YiYi
What part of having your MC babied is Heroic? Or Heroic to the point of being a legend?
On to Ch. 5... Oh, look...
OOH! the training sequence I love training! So there's going to be unshaken focus!? Bone-breaking waterfalls!? Harsh fights under the beating sun!?
"I did this in 1/80,000th of the time it takes an incredible genius." (not exaggerating either...)
So... How is he going to perform any reasonably heroic actions if he's going to curb stomp on everyone 500 years older? He didn't even put any effort into it.
In a summation of two points:
PR mistakes and abused tropes abound and each chapter is a veritable mine of tropes.
I wouldn't recommend this story to anyone as the power scaling is poorly thought out and will quickly turn into a "POWER LEVELS ARE BS." situation.
I enjoyed this, Read it if you like romance with a sense of dark comedy / weird characters.
Damnit I already caught up.
Laughably, I'd say this is an Omniscott story, its all of the... I suppose, new scotts, bunched up into one chaotic unfocused mess, you have some of the blackthorne Psychological trauma, the Origin ARS Kindness, the Galataea post military activity...
Really I'd guess that this Scott was broken into pieces and refined for the other stories.
Its a pretty good read and I'd definitely be curious to see what comes next. Take my rating and continue writing Scott!
This story... well it doesn't merit a traditional 5 stars.
The level of story telling is quite adjusted to the media, which makes it look awful but the author is surprisingly deep, and to be honest I did laugh at this... which is new, I normally avoid comics like the plague because they simply annoy me.
This deserves 5 stars because the Author achieves and pulls out basically the best he could by using the most troll media he could... it attests to the authors creativity to pull this off as I doubt that many others honestly could.
Its almost a feeling of terror, the fact that somehow I keep tripping into the works of this author... the stories are pretty predictable at this point, they're going to be hilarious and sexy.
Normally I'm not interested in the writing equivalent of moe-blobs and people's concept of "PLOT" can go shove it, but some-how this author writes... well the best Harem/mature books consistently and to be honest that ability frightens me.
Personally I'm doing something I hate, which is engaging myself to stories which I don't have much to go off of... but whatever!
I'm not too big a fan of Mina much as her character seems realistic, however so far I'm enjoying Erika and am curious to see how this develops
rating's 3.5 because its a story and I like stories, giving it a higher or lower rating would be a crime for me as there simply isn't enough to go off of... like eating bread before its cooked, doesn't work.
Main character is eccentric and the nuggets of his past make me want to see more, I like the pacing and am hoping to have more chapter.
While the story lacks driving forces for the character lacking the focus some of the other novels have:
Don't fear the reaper:
This light hearted comedy Is, I feel the truest to what I'd want my VRMMO experience to be, yes being like the reaper would be bad ass, nanobots changing my body into a tech lord would be cool, but skinning monsters crafting and fighting against hopeless odds? the other stories have these events occur as plot devices, the author of this story did it to create an insane character with a legendary tale.
I swear, if you want a main character who's strength is not his destiny but his insane decision making, then you will enjoy this story.