Derthian

Derthian

18
Follows
4
Favorites
2
Reviews
2
Fictions
Reviews
A Tower Of Dreams

 Fox girl? Check.

Foxy fox girl? Check.

Busty foxy fox girl in scanty egyptian bikini? CHECK.

Schwing guaranteed 10/10


Slightly Contradictory

I've read up to chapter 40 when I made this. Beware of spoilers.

 

TL;DR, a good pastime read if you're looking for a dose of fluff. Rather than action/adventure, it feels more like a slice of life because although it does have some tense moments, there's not really any sign of a larger plot.

The only glaring problem I found is the pacing, where it can be an easygoing pace at one part, then suddenly a long-drawn action sequence that stretches for a dozen chapters.

 

  • STYLE

The style is pretty consistent. If you're used to reading WNs then you'd be pretty comfortable reading this (first person present).

 

  • STORY

I personally liked the laidback style, but honestly this part is the fiction's biggest weakness.

First of all, the MC has a really weak motivation to... actually, I don't even know what he's doing. Travelling with mama to see the world? Fair enough, could be great if done right like Kino no Tabi as in focusing on many different stories rather than specific characters. The story doesn't seem to be heading in this direction, though, due to how much attention the author puts into the main characters. I suspect there's a larger plot to tie everything together later on.

Now the biggest peeve I have with this is the pacing.

So first we get a fluffy adventure following this adowwable fox meeting her new family, travelling together, trying out a job, becoming adventures, and then BAM! We get a twelve chapter long dungeon adventure with no real plot progession. Literally just twelve chapters of hack-and-slash grinding (with a conspiracy miniplot), which, I think, could've been summarized in one or two chapters. Maybe the author intended that arc for some kind of character development, but good character development, IMO, is one that is done alongside the plot, not a whole arc dedicated for it.

I honestly skimmed the dungeon parts and ended up getting confused about the chronology because I skipped right past the part when they left the dungeon. I'm adding half a star because the recent developments feels interesting.

 

  • GRAMMAR

Nothing worthy of note. It's not bad, but not exceptionally good either. The writing is bland is all it is.

Author would do well to expand on the vocabulary. A thesaurus, maybe? Also consider using some idioms and expressions to spice it up a bit. Just a simple analogy could go ways in making better visualization.

 

  • CHARACTER

Could've been better. I'm sure you're bored of this already, but remember; "show, don't tell".

To be honest, this fiction's finest moments is in the beginning where the MC first met the bloodcat family. There's literally no dialogue, yet the emotions conveyed were real. Then they start talking and yapyapyap goes the bloodmama, it all feels so forced. Oh, and those siblings? The author just lazily plastered their personalities when they're introduced. Sure, this is done in part because the story is about to move on anyway, but it feels jarringly rushed.

It would be better if more of the character's action are portrayed through their actions rather than dialogue. You could've made an interesting conflict out of it, even a sideplot of the characters affirming their relationships with each other if you hadn't made them bluntly say everything in their mind outloud.

 

  • OVERALL

Most of what I said are just critics, but don't get me wrong -- this fiction is one of the better ones I see on the site. I personally liked it as a light read and I would hate to see it get dropped. I love premise, the character interactions, and who doesn't love some fluff in their life? I mean, I just can't get enough of that 'aww your pet is so cute' then 'actually shes me daughter' badumtss, their imaginations goes wild.