harone09

 man your story is great, it has good potential but i think it will be better on 1st or 3rd pov, if you change the pov, it will make the story more immersive and people will feel that the story is real that it has life, if you change the pov i will probably increase the overall score, anyway i will follow this story and if you change the pov i will start reading it

hi there i think that your story is good has a lot of potential and makes poeaple drool for more so i gave full score on story, 2 stars for character cause he seems mchy and weak the kind a guy who will turn tsundere and play the hero totaly not fit to be a cultivator cause cultivators are evil, greedy,not hero,sly,scheming type of poeaple so better not make him some hero wanna be , and i gave you 3 stars on style just cause i like it but you will get full score if you turn your story into a dark fantasy as for grammar score i suck at giving those so last advize don't drop it befor you get to 100 chapis and long ones if you please.

i agree with @Algoz on his comment you should really start exploring his main power, and now that you introduced other species with long lifespan he can trade with them for power, maybe become a manager himself.

hey cousin, the story sucks as shit, i told you to try and read some more before making your own, and the only thing i liked this far is the title anything else no comment

amazingly addicting story i'm hungry for more and hope you will complete it

i like it and adding some descriptive sexual content won't do it harm if you merge it whith a paculiar skill he got [AUTH**TIVE CORR**TION] they will make good combi and spice the story a bit

the story got a good start please don't make him some stupid ass hero of justice anyway there is no striving for strength which is a good change of pace from 80% of the storys i read so far this work will need a lot of thinking to have a good devolpement especialy the systeme thing is great well im rooting for ya

interesting story  it could evolve in many direction but i hope the demon lord is a girl and the MC a guy and both are horny the rest is up to you and if it gets hot be descriptive try your best and goodluck

nice story very pleasent for now hope you raise the MC to the top of OPdom looking forward to more chaps

nice story didn't like ch10 it would've been nice if the mc do the raping but his sister and potential lover man  i have a sister and imagining that happening to another person's sister angered me if you were in front of me ill punch you