Been searching for a great read for a while. My lack of sleep recently is proof enough that I did.
I'm ashamed to say I passed on this gem for months now. Just because I was prejudiced by the title. Felt it would be some generic portal fantasy, maybe good, but nothing to write home about. But gosh... was I wrong. This is definitely something to write about. But I won't bore you by repeating what other reviewers already said.
So this is for people who might be put off by the title or the "portal/isekai" genre, this is great and you should go ahead and try it. Lastly, the bunch of warning at the start of the synopsis probably also put me off, I guess the author wanted to play it safe. But seems better to have the actual content of the book first.
It's a nice read so far. Decent story, intriguing plot. Nothing to write home about, but definitely worth your time.
My main issue with the story would be about the structure. The author seems to not know the universal law of no one likes wall of texts. And there's a couple in there.
Something could also be said about the way some characters communicate and differentiating them with the use of * or #. Especially when the dialogue is built into a paragraph. Surely there's a better way to go at it.
In short, the content is good but there's improvement to be done on the structure.
I'm about to finish book 1... must say it's a fun read. Interrresting characters and plot overall.
My main grip is with the multiple characters point of view. Once in a while it's fine, but multiple chapters of different PoV seem unnecessary. It does help put thing in perspective, but it feels heavy when they are just chained one after the others. I'm sure there's a better way to execute what the author intend for us in manner of backstory.
I was about to write a small novel for this review, but decided I shouldn't bother. Here is the short of it:
Things happen too quickly, blue boxes get annoying, MC and everyone around her adapt way too fast, she doesn't seem to have any internal struggle with any of her decisions. The morality of her decision doesn't matter here, but there's no thought process behind it.
The system feel uninspired, lot of info just being throw at your face and dialogue could be better.
The story and ideas are there, but it's not shaped properly. I saw some other reviews saying it gets better later on, I heard that a hundred time. It doesn't matter if it does or not, if I read a third of the book and I can't see improvement, then there's a problem and other people will most likely be turned off as well. I'd recommend rewritting the early part and making it flow better.
Anyhow, thanks for writting this.
It's an interesting spin to the whole "isekai" into a VR game. The intro is nice and touching.
But as you get further, the story starts being disjointed and feels harder to follow. There is a jump in time or events that are poorly explained, too many switch of point of view, etc.
It seems like the author has a rough idea where to take his story, but doesn't know how to get there.
Grammar overall is good, but there is some mistakes that could easily be fixed with a bit of rereading.
I just found out about this 2 days ago... and what a time it's been so far. I love this type of fantasy/adventure story with good world building and interesting characters. They hit all the right notes with this!
Everything is pristine, the story flow nicely and the transition between characters is pretty good. I'm usually not a fan of multiple characters, it is better for a world building point of view, but more often than not the reader like a character over the other and want to go back to the one they prefer. It is still the case here, but the world and its characters are really well made and you get used to the shift of view. Feels like the author put a lot of work into this and it's great! Except the occasional grammar mistakes, I'd give top score everywhere.
I'm only half way trough or so and when I enjoy a story this much I usually go drop a vote on top webfiction, but to my surprise I couldn't find it there. I urge the creator to make a link for the story. idk about others, but I found great stories trough there and I only wish for this story to get the recognition it deserves!
Thanks for the good time so far, you got yourself another fan on this journey.
Must say it's a surprise, started this tonight on a whim without any expectation... and it's a small gem.
I'm up to chapter 13, but it's well written, the world building is great and the characters so far are likeable.
Grammar seems mostly fine, not sure why the score for it is so low. Compare to other work, this is solid. Not everyone has large vocabulary knowledge and fancy way to structure sentences. This comes with time and practice. As long as the idea is properly conveyed and understandable, it's totally fine.
The thing I find misleading is the synopsis, it was my expectation for the plot to unveil rapidly, but no, it's a slow but interesting start. I'm a bit excited to see where it leads us!
Been a long time since I read something that was both good and this frantic. It's been a wild ride to say the least.
The story starts mostly normally, good plot and intrigue, but as it progressed... when you think it'll come to a conclusion, at least an expected one... it doesn't. The author keeps throwing those plot progression and somehow... it works.
This book takes inspiration from a lot of overdone concept in the genre. But the true magic here is how it goes beyond this and creates a truly unique and refreshing story.
And don't get me started on the characters, they are as chaotic as the author and made this a truly blissful read.
My main issue with this book is not even from the content, it's that damned image. I get that it's suppose to be more or less our MC... but that apple. Who put an apple on a book like that, does she removes it and put it back in place every time she turns a page? My blood pressure is rising just from looking at it!
Must say I preferred the old title. Just "AAO makes it sounds too basic". And this story is anything but basic. At least the "Devil in White" part added some mystery. Always thought it should be "Chronicler of the Heaven" or something along those lines since we see the story unfold through her eyes and it's a pretty badass title/job, imo.
Thank you for your hard work!
I've never been huge into sci-fi, here and there a book do catch my attention... this is one of them.
As of chapter 21, I don't have a lot of bads thing to say about it. The world building and storytelling are great. The interaction between the characters is one of the main driving force of the story.
The author seems to take his time to flesh out the world and his characters. It's nice to not be rushed and feel like the world and its people are actually alive.
The main grip I can have with this would be the beginning of the story and how it is setup. There seems to be many exaggeration and surrealist events. But the author explains them well enough and they are used as foundation to build characters and the world, so it dampens the effect.
Some people seem to really have a mental block at that part, i'm not too sure why. The author seems to show how fragile all of us and all we built really are. Even how insignificant we are in the face of time and our own nature. Some stretch to the story will be needed to get somes of the points across.
I especially liked how self-fulfilling prophecy seems to be what drives the first few chapters and we get to ask ourselves a lot of questions and think about the how and if.
To conclude, I think the story early on could of been fleshed out better to make it more "real". But let's be honest, to create what the author is, you need to use your imagination and postulate on so many things... I must praise him for how well he's done so far. I have high expectation for this story and I rate it accordingly.
I heard about this story just recently. And as I write this review I’m well into the second book.
This story started just fine. The world was vast with a lot of potential and even though it was slow build up, I could hope for something great.
And as I read... I noticed that what I was wishing for never came and instead there were always issues that came up and kept aggravating me.
The characters are both great and awful. The MC and the side character build up at the start seem fine. But as you follow the MC you start noticing a certain pettiness about him. How he holds petty grudges for no apparent reason other than self-satisfaction.
Of course, one could argue that with how the MC was portrayed and his hard early life, it could happen. But there's also inconsistency in how he acts normally. Sometimes acting extremely mature for his age and sometimes wanting to pay someone a hundred fold for a slight slap on the wrist.
He was slowly turning into a bad Wuxia/Xianxia protagonist. Nobody wants that...
I found the side characters to be a lot more likable and I was looking forward to another point of view of those more than the MC. Even the person that ruined his life was more entertaining than him, even though any sane person should hate that person.
The author also tries to break the fourth wall sometime with his narration, and it's not something I really like in this particular story. It doesn't always happen, but when it does, it doesn't add anything.
Now for the grammar... As a non-English native myself, I can understand common grammar issues and what not. But here, for the first time in my life, I actually get frustrated from grammar issue and finally understood why some people dont like that. It may have been the fact that I actually tried so hard to like the story too...
Oh also...let’s not talk too much about punctuations; do you even know they exist?
The story is the main redeeming feature of this work. The world building is great and the potential is there. The world is vast and interesting and it's really what makes you want more of it. My only issue with the “story” was how it felt like the author didn’t know where he wanted to go for a couple chapters and just drifted here and there until he got an idea.
Now, maybe the author did manage to improve in the books 3-4-5. But I don't get my hopes up. It may sound like a bit of bashing, but I really wanted to like the story and see how it ended up. But I couldn't make it through all those problems as I’d just end up frustrated if I read more.