VoidWhereApplicable

VoidWhereApplicable

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Lily Ex Machina [COMPLETED]

 The whole story should have ended in chapter 7, when our dearest heroine gets both her legs bitten off. Even with one femoral artery cut, blood pressure would drop faster than my interest, and the person would die in under a minute. Now, our missy gets both her legs ripped right off, hangs around for a few moments and then gets smashed into a wall (fun fact: that smash is described to have broken bones and possibly her spine, but all that is never mentioned again), she then gets whisked away and survives long enough to have a bout with depression, just to finally drag herself to a medkit and survive.

Everything afterwards just digs the plothole of "trash magic becomes universal deus ex machina" all the way straight to china, along with a blissful ignorance about the human body (examples include, but are not limited to burn wounds, tetanus, magic muscles and the intricacies of the human muscular system, and that's just the few chapters I've read).

 

10/10, would force this story upon my worst enemy.


There is no Epic Loot here, Only Puns.

Style and humor very reminiscent of early Pratchett work, though still fairly rough around the edges.

Wonderful and lovable cast of chacters, even the main character, though she could maybe cut back a little on the puns (or at least be less on-the-nose about it, calling them out at every turn).

 

Very good, with potential to be brilliant. 10/10, would visit again.