I'm not often one to read this kind of story, but I still found myself enjoying it with the way this one is written. It uses the basic ideas that I associate with isekai litrpg, but still presents them in a way that makes the story interesting.
Style: I enjoy how the story is written, with a few exceptions that I'm going to be considering as 'grammar.' I don't have much complaints here, and in general the story almost has a certain charm to it in its writing.
Story: The plot follows some basic beats I see as common in isekai litrpg stories - sickly MC who is transferred to a game that exists in their world, then has to fight their way through it. However, the author uses these concepts well, and puts nice details to aid them in making the story unique.
Grammar: It could be better, but it could also be a lot worse. Past the first chapter, I saw a few sentences that read strangely - more than a few sentences stopped at weird places, and a common error I saw was the lack of punctuation if dialogue ended the paragraph. Other than that, I didn't see a whole lot of errors.
Character: I'm not often one to find characters relatable, but Tal's attitude towards his circumstances in the first chapter is something I can understand. In general, the characters are well-written and the ones that have been given focus so far are distinct from each other.
Overall, this story has an interesting premise (once one gets past some of the bad parts). I do, however, have some problems/notes about some of the execution and how things were done.
Style: I don't have much complaints. In general, the way it's written is likely one of the better parts of it; it's reasonably done, and I don't see much errors or problems.
Story: While the story's idea is interesting, there are some drawbacks here. To start, I feel like the first chapter could be better labeled as a several-part prologue - it sets up the action, but also feels like it could have been concluded in fewer parts. That could, of course, be my personal preference of brevity.
Another thing I have to say about story is that, multiple times, I find myself confused on what's happening - during most parts of the first chapter, for example, I didn't know the exact course of events. Otherwise, however, I have no complaints.
Grammar: I don't have much to say here - in general, the grammar's fine. There are, however, a few sentences that read strangely - such as an oddly placed comma here and there - but nothing too distracting.
Character: This is where most of my complaints lie. I'll sum it up with this: the author warned readers about William's character, but I can't see a huge difference between him and Astral - and that's negative on Astral's part. Presumably, William has flaws - selfishness, acting somewhat entitled - that may 'encourage' readers to drop the story. However, maybe because I expected Astral to be more mature than him, I was disappointed to see that she shared one of his flaws - the demanding attitude of a rich kid. Although not particularly jarring, it led me to wonder if the author knew how to write teenagers in a non-bratty way.
(I only read one chapter with Seth, so I do not know if he follows this or not.)
As a note: I'm a friend of the author, and this is in exchange for some art pieces I've asked from her. That being said, this is still my own opinion.
Overall, I do think this story has potential. There are a few errors here and there - odd sentences and the like - but otherwise the first part (Departure) is well-written, and I know the following parts will be as well.
Style: I like how the story is written in general. The author uses foreshadowing to her advantage here, hinting towards future events. I don't have much complaints as far as this part of the story is concerned.
Story: Depature is essentially the story of Natheniel making bad choices. In general, I believe the series has a more mystery-inclined plot as a whole. Some parts are vague, although that could be a choice made by the author to fill in during future stories (which is most likely the case).
Grammar: I have very little complaints about the grammar. The most I can say here is that there are still a few sentences that read oddly, but otherwise the grammar's fine.
Character: If I love anything about this, it's the characters - I'm particularly fond of Natheniel. He's a well-written character that I can personally relate to in a sense; in the earlier chapters when he's still a kid, he's written believably.
This story has an interesting premise, understandable characters, and a good writing style. I look forward to seeing more updates, and I'm interested to see where the story goes from here.
Style: The writing style is good - if not excellent - for a majority of the story. It tells the story mostly from the protagonist's (Kayrus's) point of view, and it shows his reactions to the whole event pretty clearly. The descriptions of characters are also clear and understandable, so one can easily imagine the characters.
Grammar: Overall, the grammar is excellent - there aren't a lot of errors. However, one thing that I noticed easily was the tense. The narrative switches from third-person present to third-person past, depending on what's being said.
Story: The premise of the story is that Kayrus, an orphan thief, fails to rob an archmagus; the archmagus then proceeds to enroll him in an magic academy, since Kayrus has the potential to be a Magus. It seems like Kayrus has the potential to be more than just a Magus as well, which is what helps make the story interesting.
Character: I can't say much for relatability, but I can say that the characters are interesting. From their interactions, you can determine pretty quickly what their personalities are - and all of the characters are well-written as well.
Overall, I think the story deserves this 4.5*. Once again, I look forward to seeing how the story progresses!