The Jester of Apocalypse

I would give this author 5 stars for his worldbuilding, character development, and insight into the psychology of what its truly like to suffer a mind shattering ordeal. But I will not give him those points because he committed what I consider to be classic sins of all LITRPG stories. 

Sin number 1: He made the protagonist edgy and wiser than everyone around him.

Sin number 2: He made the protagonist female weak and pining for Mr edgelord. 

High-school me would have eaten this book up and asked for seconds, but I'm in my thirties and I need more meat on the bone. This is no shade on the author. Honestly it's doing a wonderful job for what it is, but if your like me, looking for another book that stirs the heart and mind as well as delights the inner child; this writer needs more experience before he can tell that story. My message to the author would be: You are a wonderful writer with a great deal of promise. You think very deeply about many aspects of character development and I see in you a future writer of great caliber and success. This story wasn't for me but as your storytelling develops, I look forward to seeing what you produce. 

Psycho Duel Revelations: [A Deckbuilding LitRPG Apocalypse]

Concept- fun: It's post-apoc, YuGiOh

Writing- ok: Could do with an editor if the intention is to publish

Battles execution- Inconsistant, the cooldowns of the monsters in particular seems confusing. Author may need to look over the stats he's giving each minion and how that plays out in the battle. 

Character relationships- Early days: So far I don't feel connected to Walt. There are some moments that take me out of immersion.

For example: Near the end of his time with Joy, he ends his time with Joy by saying "Part of me enjoyed killing that asshole." First of all, he just met this perso. Second of all the line itself felt needlesly edgy and annoying; especially as an ending sentence for a chapter.  

He meets the old man and then has him say "Lets fucking go!" when he hits some good fortune. That isn't justified in the story as to why he's saying zoomer things. These details are important for constructing consistancy in characters and I think a little more attention to detail and considering why the character is making choices is important. 


All in all, lot'sa promise. Good luck and hope its a success!

Dungeon Tour Guide: A Dungeon Core LitRPG

I read till chapter 22. 

It was nice. The protagonist is a lighthearted, sweet, caring individual, who seems to want nothing more than to help people, and fiddle with his dungeon. The writing is enjoyable, prose is solid.

However, i'm losing interest. When I inhabit protagonists I'm looking for a full human experience to relate to. This protagonist is cheery and sweet as a default and I find myself longing to connect to his ambition, envy, fear, longings, attraction etc. Currently he feels ephemeral and a bit rigid. Perhaps i'll check this story further down the road to see if the author decides to introduce us to more dimensions of the protagonist, or perhaps the protagonist as a demi-human (not a spoiler, revealed chapter 1) is not meant for such a range of experience. 

I must say that those stories that never end up tending to the more primal and messy parts of the human condition end up becoming endless loops. The details may change and the characters may grow stronger, but they don't change really and these stories become weaker and weaker over time. 

Dawn of the Void - a LitRPG Apocalypse

I'm really enjoying this story. The writing is compelling and the grim elements feel real. I disagree with some of the other reviews claiming that the scenario given by the author is immersion breaking. For me it made sense. I love that the author really tended to the psychology of his characters, their growth is tangible, and they struggle for it. This is something rare in stories on this site so I felt it needed to be shouted out. The protagonists grow very quickly, but the author justifies it very well with mechanisms in the story. 

All in all I think this is a must read, and if you look through my reviews you would see that this is not something I dole out often. Keep it up author! You're doing a wonderful job. 

Siege State

Good story, with some pacing and character issues

I enjoy the prose and the worldbuilding. I enjoyed a good deal of the gritty, "not afraid to kill people we get to know," aspect as well. 

I have two quams with the story and hopefully this will be useful feedback for the skilled author of this story.

1: I'm a therapist by trade, so perhaps this is proffesional bias but the protagonist does not fit the psychological profile of the background he was given. Abusive father, absent mother, bullied at school, no friends or support. You need to have notable empathy figures in you life to become a hero, people who take the time to care about you and show what it means to care about others. It just doesn't fit together well for me. This combined with the speed of his character development is grating to read. 

At one point in the story the protagonist gets rejected by the society he's a part of and is forced to the outskirts after warning them of a great danger. Then he resolves to rescue them anyways. I don't think the author has properly justified were this nobility and empathy come from. Where are the relationships that he wants to protect! What is motivation this martyr-esque loyalty. These are the inconsistencies that differ from a decent read to great book. 


2: The pacing of this book is frenetic. One moment the protagonist is helpless barely surviving, two chapters later he has the most powers possible for someone to get and an almost complete arsenal of broken abilities. I wish the author would have let us go on a longer journey to earn each of the abilities, to let us appreciate their rarity. 

All in all, a lot of promise. I'm not sure yet if I want to stick around for the rest of this one, but that's probably more my own picky standards, and this story deserves a fair shake. Maybe it will get a rewrite later on with some substantive development additions.

Double-Blind: A Modern LITRPG

Writing excellent. Plot compelling. Protagonist, well it depends what you like, unfortunately he doesn't do it for me. I do think he kind of makes sense. He is very young, and emotionally quite untintellegent, but sharp. Where the character starts to fall apart for me is in the near perfect sherlock holmes esqe qualities the author has given the MC. He can deduce so much plot material from very little(he justifies it with a title), I think its a stretch, and that he's inadverdantly turned his character into a Gary Stew. The hero's journey became less compelling for me after that revellation for me. If the author ever reads this, I would offer the advice to not neglect the protagonist emotional journey for the flashy bits.  

The Iron Teeth:  A Goblin's Tale

Goblins being such a normally overlooked entity, it was fun to explore life from the perspective of the green little guy. I felt that the author was able to capture the psyche of the goblin pretty well and I began rooting for him immediately. As he evolved, I felt excited at the potential of his character arc, and the possibility of more character develeopment. At the moment i'm getting close to half way through the story and I'm starting to get a but frustrated with the plot armor of the protag and his op-ness. I wish the author had toned that down some. The plot does move forward but it does feel a bit repetitive, maybe better suited to those who read in weekly installments rather than going through the story from start to finish. All in all, novel concept, passable execution, and a lot of potential in the story and the author.