This is a good first draft, I'd say. But it definitely needs revision.
The first few chapters are annoying to read and there is little point in them. Most of the text is useless too. You don't have to explain each and every little decision and go into a lengthy summary of why it was the way it was. This is most evident in your last chapter, [chapter 28] what was the point of the discussion about whether the MC is 1 month old in this world or not? It spans half of the chapter, why?
That chapter is also evident in weird dialogue placement and shifts.
I'd say, you can cut this book in half in editing and it wouldn't effect the story.
I hope you pick this up again. All the best!
I would have given a 0.5 star. This story is that bad! But no author deserves that. Specially one who wrote an original novel; no matter how crap.
The MC supposedly was the only survivor of apocalypse. So he should particularly want to survive, no? Apparently the author doesn't think so.
MC is attacked by a lion. He survives. Fine.
But then that lion is being hunted by wild dogs so the MC stops retreating and goes to watch it. Why? Because he just had to. Author's words. Not mine.
Then when the dogs hunts the lion, the MC kills all the dogs for the lion. Why? I don't know. Even the author dosn't know.
The MC is poisoned. And the random berries he had picked up earlier were actually ultra miraculous! Heavenly! Legendary! Stupidly powerful! Mega Lucky! Anti-poison berries! Hurray!! Who would have seen this coming? Certainly not me. -_-
Then the MC saves the poisoned lion, the very same one that wanted to kill the MC, with life saving berries. Why? becuase they both are dying. Lol.
Then when a settlement is attacked, instead of retreating into the magic that will definetely save him, he goes on to fight this super dangerous monster that had knife for a body. This monster is so powerful that all the gaurds can do nothing.
But worry not, MC is here. And he is Level 2!!! 1 more level than level 1! By the power of Level 2 the MC will defeat 2 settlement destroying monsters! Not one but 2! By the power of 2!!! He is very powerful!!
I just can't with this novel. I do not understand why is this number 2 on trending? Are the people so bored due to quarentine?
The story is good and intresting. A bit newer concept. The main issues with novel start with the author's drive to make the MC a social idiot when it comes to women.
He sleeps in a single bed with 2 women and says nothing -keeps absulte mum!- on their skinship and is surprised when they make a move on him.
The female characters in the underground tower are extreamely annoying. I prefer to read about their 4th party member -who apprears almost once in 2 chapters- than read them. They are so incredibly annoying.
Since the mc is weeker to girls, and one of the girls is from matricachal society so it is natural for to look down on MC. Yet as time passes she becomes a ditzt idiot swayed by MC silentness.
MC does absolutely nothing but the 2 girls are fighting for his attention.
It reminds of this meme:
Girl1: Breathe with me Oppa!
Girl2: No! Breathe with me Oppa!
It is so idiotic.
A nice story ruined because of authors desire to make a harem naturally. So idiotic. At least the author should mark the story as harem.
This is Xianxia with Iskei mixed in. And honestly, I was very apprehensive before reading it because of the top reviews.
This is story is different than your usual Xianxia and usual Iskei both. And this difference is good.
Do yourself a favor and read this. It is good.
As far as grammer is concered it is not bad. Although all the I's mights not be dotted and the T's crossed, but the grammer is still good.
The book starts good, with new and interesting plot, which is very hard to find. The writing style is good too.
Though, there is fair amount of criticism to be had.
1. After the initial few chapters, the authors spends 3-4 chapters or innane things that are completely useless and the story could have done without.
2. Forced relationship. And I do not mean arranged marriage. The MC is forced to acknowledge his 'love' for his neighbour while said neighbor hides. Mind you, this is in the initial chapters and till this point MC himself does not know if he loves her. But because he is pressured, he loves the girl now. Oh well.
3. After a few DAYS of dating, the MC's parents start calling the girl, fiance, daughter-in-law, buying her expensive gifts, future wife of my son and so on. After few DAYS! Practically forcing that thought into the girl's mind bcz of how impressionable she is.
4. MC is weak as feather, which is good! ANd it is very difficult for MC to increase his power when compared to others. Which is also good! Because that allows him to be intresting! To work hard! To care for and fight for each and every little power up. But what does our MC do? He wants to save the girl and buy her things at his own expense because she is important to him. Face palm. He even contemplated gifting something that his parents bought him, after spending all their lafe savings to empower their son. Yet he wanted to gift it to this girl that he had been dating for a few days. DAYS! A girl that can power up easily, while he can't!
5. Then there is typical 13 year old love drama. I mean. Face palm. The situation with the girl's father could have handled much better. But that is palatable.
6. What I absolutely can not digest is this seemingly dumbing down of MC for no reason at all. I mean he is already dumb but he became even dumber. MC works out a method to increase his power but he ignores it. Then he comes across an enemy that he has no hope of defeating. MC can be conidered barely level 43 with absolutely NO SKILLS. While his enemy is at least Level 80 with 4 to 6 skills.
MC even agrees that he should wait to power up before tackling this enemy. And in the very next paragraph, he challenges the enemy. I mean... I could only bang my head on a wall.
And then, as if this was not enough, MC wins the fight while he is half hallucinating. And idid I mention that MC was dead tired while he won this fight? He hadn't slept for the past few days. Just cherry on the top, really.
7. Now comes my true major peave with this story. Yes, beyond the 100 page essay I wrote above. Till now, the one thing intresting about the story was that the MC was weak. His power up menthod was extreamely difficult and he had to work hard for every bit of power.
But now, it all has been set aside. The MC that earlier couldn't get a class, can not get all the freaking classes that exist in the world.
Not only that, because MC 'figured out' how the 'difficult method' worked, so he can farm that method too. Because it is very easy now.
So the only good this about this story, no longer exists.
Despite all this, this has the potential to be a great story! Incredible even. But the author seemed to be in a rush to finish Book 1 and that has caused this mess.
This book needs proof reading, and then it will be pure gold, till then it is pure mess.
I could not continue to Book 2. I tried and I failed.
Book 1 was good because it was all slice of life till then, but as soon as there was action, the weak and pathetic MC was so unbearably dull. It was just exhuasting reading it. Read till Book 1 and not after that.
I want to read this story, I really do. From the description, this seems like the kind of story that I like to read.
But those long walls of text are incredibly off putting. Your grammer is not absolutely terrible but needs to be touched up by someone who knows better.
I hope that this gets edited and made into the gem that it seems to be.
Just read it. You will love it. It is worth every second that you spend on it. You will not regret it.
The story starts out rather nice with playing stereotypes on the nose and having fun with it. The relationship of the 3 siblings is fun to read about and works without making it seem like the MC is a Gary Stu with "God King of the Most Heavenly of Heavens in the Whole Entitre Universe" or some such ridiculous title.
It is in the second arc that this story takes a nose dive for the worse. And its not a just a steep falling down from a cliff, no, that would have been manageble. The nose dive of quality is akin to jumping from a helicopter without a parashoot and hoping it would work out. It is that bad.
The only other male charecter in the story, MC's brother is removed from the scene for no good reason. More and more useless women start sorrounding themselves around a 10 year old boy. MC's sister loses all her personality and achievements, turning into a cardboard cut out parody of herself [or in author-sama's own words, a grey cloud with no face]. It is disheartening.
Beyond this the plot halts moving in the 2nd arc, as if Bugs Bunny had thrown a screw driver in a well oiled machines and all the pent up energy was about to make it explode [which is not far from truth admittedly].
All in all, I would say read it for the first arc and drop it there. Don't go into the second arc and spoil what is actually a good story.
The premise is good but the execution is not only bad but irritating. The author has no knowledge of spellings, let alone grammer. I am not the person that has issues with grammer [I once read an entire novel translated by google translate] yet I could not go past the third chapter.
I really want to read this novel, given its premise, but the novel itself doesn't want me to. The spellings are that bad.