Despite what I say below, this is an innovative story and definitely worth reading. I usually don't leave un-solicited reviews but as I liked the story, I write below to help the author. You have done a good job!
That being said, if a story were a person, then the plot would be the skeleton, characters the flesh and world-building the skin.
This story has the first in abundance, the third in moderation but almost nothing in characters, except MC.
Side characters are not even one dimensional, their existence is basically non-existent. You could replace them with a stone and you wouldn't find any difference.
1. MC is way too prepared for what happens but no one comments on it.
It is hinted that one person is either a transmigrator or something along the lines. He mumbles something along the line of 'I crossed' and MC hears it, so do the others. But what do they all do? Zilch. That's what.
The leader of their group is a teenager who shrugs off the destruction of their world like it was just another Sunday morning. Not a Monday morning, mind you, Mondays are hectic. This obviously hints at something deeper, but what do the MC and the rest of the side characters do? Absolutely nothing.
2. None of the others are traumatised by the ending of the world. Not a single one. They accept everything as true and work towards it. Family? What family? Dreams and aspirations? What are they? Goals? Does such a thing exist?
3. MC keeps pocketing random stuff in front of everyone to use later. They could be useful for everyone but no one comments on them.
4. MC steals valuable stuff from the shared pile but again, not a single mention of it is made by the others.
If characters could be improved upon, this would a very interesting novel.
There is very little I can say that'd add anything to the novel. The story is that good. I will not be minutely surprised when I see this story is the top ten of the trending list.
Coming onto the scoring:
Style: Exceptionally done. The author is well adept at conveying the character's emotions and making the readers feel them as well. The descriptions are well placed and not too much. The pacing is fast; the author doesn't care to show to each and every single fight that the MC goes through; an excellent thing in my opinion.
Story: While system apocalypse is an overdone genre, the author has managed to keep the story fresh. I like the way system is implemented and the little details that have been scattered across the story. I especially liked the bit with the MC raising all dehydrated and why it was so, which gets explained later on.
Grammar: Not much to say. At no point did I feel hindered by grammar.
Character: Now this is the star of the story. The MC is very well defined. All her goals are clear, her desires are laid bare and so is her drive. Not only this but she is also consistent with her actions. A huge plus in my book.
Overall, this has an incredible beginning. While writing this I tried to think for reasons to not give this story a full-on 5-star rating but I couldn't think of any, so good job.
Quite an off heading for the review of a VRMMO story, isn’t it? Well, its because this story is less about the MMO and more about the people, both in the real world and the virtual. We all have read VRMMOs that had AI NPCs yet they don’t seem to matter in the grand scheme of things. Well, this is not one of those stories.
For all intents and purposes, the virtual world is a bright new world for the people to explore. It is not just a fantasy adventure trap but a VRMMO that forces its users to treat the NPCs as actual people. The author has found a brilliant method of doing this by binding a thinking NPC with the gamers and forcing them to interact with the inhabitants of the new world. Not only that, but the gamers have to keep this NPC alive as it can die just like them.
That being said, the style of the story takes some getting used to. The constant back and forth are a bit disorienting but it is an artistic choice. And the reason why the author chose this style becomes clear in the next few chapters and I ended up agreeing with the author’s decision.
The grammar is good and at times needs a touch help but it is not something that Grammarly can’t fix. The character development of the MC was also nicely done, especially her arrival in the new world and her reaction to it. Overall, this is a nice story and I would recommend giving it a try.
When the author tags this story with Psychological and Horror tags, you better believe them. This is a story that messes with you emotionally with every chapter. Every scene is a fight for survival, not only against the world but also against one's own memories, morals and guilt.
The best part about this story is that it does not start with the genesis of the apocalypse. Instead, it starts quite a time after and we learn of the horror that event brought through the haunted memories of the MC and hellish scenario she escaped from.
I also like that the MC has a goal other than just getting powerful, which keeps the MC quite grounded and keeps them going. The MC's character is easily the strongest suit of the novel. The grammar is quite good while the style of writing is rather haunting. Perfect for a grimdark story like this one.
This story is a beautiful look into a traumatised human psyche within an apocalyptic world. The struggle of the MC against her values is nerve wrecking and does not feel dramatic or cliched. It is handled beautifully. The MC knows what she has to do to survive, despite it being against her morals. Yet, she does it as she cries but she can't move on from her actions. Her confession in the initial chapters is a beautiful example of this.
Overall, this is an amazing story. So, do give it a read. It will tear your heart apart to make room for itself.
Unlike any other story that have read, this story does not consider the angels as a force of all that is good and holy. Instead, they are the force that has descended down on earth to achieve our destruction and annihilation. Quite interesting isn’t it?
The story starts with the main character spending a mundane day with her best friend. This scene sets up the protagonist’s character, her faults, her virtues and her problems. Mainly her status as an orphan, her anger management issues and a background in the local juvenile system. Not your regular goody two shoes, is she?
The story progresses well from there, however, it leaves quite a few questions behind. Just what are these angels? What are their goals? Why are they attacking humans? And why did the local governments do nothing against them until now? These questions also seem to haunt the main character. This implies that the author has answers for them and is only waiting to reveal them at a proper time. This hints at the deep roots of the story, something I like very much.
If there was one thing, however, it would be the pace of the story and the length of the later chapters. The later chapters feel like they are just a singular scene when a chapter should be more than just a single scene. If those two issues could be mitigated, then this novel would be A+.