Ankur_93

Ankur_93

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Crawling Towers

Plot driven but lacking characters.

Despite what I say below, this is an innovative story and definitely worth reading. I usually don't leave un-solicited reviews but as I liked the story, I write below to help the author. You have done a good job! 

That being said, if a story were a person, then the plot would be the skeleton, characters the flesh and world-building the skin.

This story has the first in abundance, the third in moderation but almost nothing in characters, except MC.

Side characters are not even one dimensional, their existence is basically non-existent. You could replace them with a stone and you wouldn't find any difference.

For example:

1. MC is way too prepared for what happens but no one comments on it.

It is hinted that one person is either a transmigrator or something along the lines. He mumbles something along the line of 'I crossed' and MC hears it, so do the others. But what do they all do?  Zilch. That's what.

The leader of their group is a teenager who shrugs off the destruction of their world like it was just another Sunday morning. Not a Monday morning, mind you, Mondays are hectic. This obviously hints at something deeper, but what do the MC and the rest of the side characters do? Absolutely nothing.

2. None of the others are traumatised by the ending of the world. Not a single one. They accept everything as true and work towards it. Family? What family? Dreams and aspirations? What are they? Goals? Does such a thing exist?

3. MC keeps pocketing random stuff in front of everyone to use later. They could be useful for everyone but no one comments on them. 

4. MC steals valuable stuff from the shared pile but again, not a single mention of it is made by the others.

If characters could be improved upon, this would a very interesting novel.


Tale of Family - Book 1 - WIP

Quite an off heading for the review of a VRMMO story, isn’t it? Well, its because this story is less about the MMO and more about the people, both in the real world and the virtual. We all have read VRMMOs that had AI NPCs yet they don’t seem to matter in the grand scheme of things. Well, this is not one of those stories.
For all intents and purposes, the virtual world is a bright new world for the people to explore. It is not just a fantasy adventure trap but a VRMMO that forces its users to treat the NPCs as actual people. The author has found a brilliant method of doing this by binding a thinking NPC with the gamers and forcing them to interact with the inhabitants of the new world. Not only that, but the gamers have to keep this NPC alive as it can die just like them.
That being said, the style of the story takes some getting used to. The constant back and forth are a bit disorienting but it is an artistic choice. And the reason why the author chose this style becomes clear in the next few chapters and I ended up agreeing with the author’s decision.
The grammar is good and at times needs a touch help but it is not something that Grammarly can’t fix. The character development of the MC was also nicely done, especially her arrival in the new world and her reaction to it. Overall, this is a nice story and I would recommend giving it a try.


Stitched

It hurts to read but I can't stop!

When the author tags this story with Psychological and Horror tags, you better believe them. This is a story that messes with you emotionally with every chapter. Every scene is a fight for survival, not only against the world but also against one's own memories, morals and guilt.

The best part about this story is that it does not start with the genesis of the apocalypse. Instead, it starts quite a time after and we learn of the horror that event brought through the haunted memories of the MC and hellish scenario she escaped from.

I also like that the MC has a goal other than just getting powerful, which keeps the MC quite grounded and keeps them going. The MC's character is easily the strongest suit of the novel. The grammar is quite good while the style of writing is rather haunting. Perfect for a grimdark story like this one. 

This story is a beautiful look into a traumatised human psyche within an apocalyptic world. The struggle of the MC against her values is nerve wrecking and does not feel dramatic or cliched. It is handled beautifully. The MC knows what she has to do to survive, despite it being against her morals. Yet, she does it as she cries but she can't move on from her actions. Her confession in the initial chapters is a beautiful example of this.

Overall, this is an amazing story. So, do give it a read. It will tear your heart apart to make room for itself.


The Primal Hunter
This is a story of coming to grips with the reality that you no longer recognise. It is also a story of someone who has to accept themselves for who they are before they could unlock their full potential and completely blossom. 
While still in its beginning stages, the story follows the MC who is just a regular joe working a 9-5 job. However, as the world turns upside down, we get to see the guy outside of that time frame. We get to know his history and his lost-passion. We see him embrace his passion with open arms and accept the consequences that came with it.
The MC is an introvert and we actually get to see this. It is not like those cases where MC is supposed to be an introvert but is the most likeable person around. If you look closely, you’d see how the situation could have been handled better but the MC didn’t because of his lack of people skills.
The world-building is fairly decent at this point, but it hints at larger things in play. Why is there a tutorial?? Who set it up? What happens to the world while humans are gone? All these questions are left to be answered later.
Grammar is fairly good and the sentences flow nicely. The dialogues are natural, which is a plus point. Overall, this is a good novel.

The Beast and The Swallow

This honestly was not a story that I expected to like. Romance is not my favourite genre, to say the least, and given that the story lacks magic in the initial stages, I was sceptical. HOWEVER. However, I have been converted. The story is not just a cheesy feel good romantic story, instead there are darker things lurking under the surface.

I also liked the fact that the two characters got tied together rather early and their romance develops from there. The entire story gives me very ‘Moon Lovers: Scarlet Heart Ryeo’ vibe. Especially the male protagonist. I love it but my heart breaks at the same time. Those who have seen that drama will know what I am talking about. If you have seen that drama, you should read this.

Coming onto the story itself, I like how the world slowly blooms around the female protagonist. Even the horrors that she to live through only pop when the time is right. It is not like the female MC is sitting somewhere while reminiscing about all that went wrong in her life. It makes her very human. The same is true for the male MC. In the first chapter, he appears to be a tough macho man but as the story progresses, we see just how insecure he is about his scars and this titles of beast and monster.

The two are vulnerable and fit together perfectly like pieces of a puzzle; which is the premise of the story. I look forward to seeing where this story is going. There is one thing that I would like to mention and that would be the abrupt POV shifts in narration. If you could break the scene before shifting the POV, the story would be an even smoother read.


Inverted: A Dark Isekai Fantasy Novel

This is a good first draft, I'd say. But it definitely needs revision.

The first few chapters are annoying to read and there is little point in them. Most of the text is useless too. You don't have to explain each and every little decision and go into a lengthy summary of why it was the way it was. This is most evident in your last chapter, [chapter 28] what was the point of the discussion about whether the MC is 1 month old in this world or not? It spans half of the chapter, why?

That chapter is also evident in weird dialogue placement and shifts. 

I'd say, you can cut this book in half in editing and it wouldn't effect the story.

I hope you pick this up again. All the best!


Jayke Cipher

MC is Xianxia Arrogant young master level Idiot

I would have given a 0.5 star. This story is that bad! But no author deserves that. Specially one who wrote an original novel; no matter how crap.

The MC supposedly was the only survivor of apocalypse. So he should particularly want to survive, no? Apparently the author doesn't think so.

MC is attacked by a lion. He survives. Fine.

But then that lion is being hunted by wild dogs so the MC stops retreating and goes to watch it. Why? Because he just had to. Author's words. Not mine.

Then when the dogs hunts the lion, the MC kills all the dogs for the lion. Why? I don't know. Even the author dosn't know.

The MC is poisoned. And the random berries he had picked up earlier were actually ultra miraculous! Heavenly! Legendary! Stupidly powerful! Mega Lucky! Anti-poison berries! Hurray!! Who would have seen this coming? Certainly not me. -_-

Then the MC saves the poisoned lion, the very same one that wanted to kill the MC, with life saving berries. Why? becuase they both are dying. Lol. 

Then when a settlement is attacked, instead of retreating into the magic that will definetely save him, he goes on to fight this super dangerous monster that had knife for a body. This monster is so powerful that all the gaurds can do nothing.

But worry not, MC is here. And he is Level 2!!! 1 more level than level 1! By the power of Level 2 the MC will defeat 2 settlement destroying monsters! Not one but 2! By the power of 2!!! He is very powerful!! 

I just can't with this novel. I do not understand why is this number 2 on trending? Are the people so bored due to quarentine?


Babel

Good Start. Annoying side characters though.

The story is good and intresting. A bit newer concept. The main issues with novel start with the author's drive to make the MC a social idiot when it comes to women.

He sleeps in a single bed with 2 women and says nothing -keeps absulte mum!- on their skinship and is surprised when they make a move on him. 

The female characters in the underground tower are extreamely annoying. I prefer to read about their 4th party member -who apprears almost once in 2 chapters- than read them. They are so incredibly annoying.

Since the mc is weeker to girls, and one of the girls is from matricachal society so it is natural for to look down on MC. Yet as time passes she becomes a ditzt idiot swayed by MC silentness.

MC does absolutely nothing but the 2 girls are fighting for his attention.

It reminds of this meme:

MC: *breathes*

Girl1: Breathe with me Oppa!

Girl2: No! Breathe with me Oppa!

It is so idiotic.

A nice story ruined because of authors desire to make a harem naturally. So idiotic. At least the author should mark the story as harem.


Cultivation Anomaly

Not as bad as the top reviews make it out to be.

This is Xianxia with Iskei mixed in. And honestly, I was very apprehensive before reading it because of the top reviews. 

This is story is different than your usual Xianxia and usual Iskei both. And this difference is good. 

Do yourself a favor and read this. It is good.

As far as grammer is concered it is not bad. Although all the I's mights not be dotted and the T's crossed, but the grammer  is still good.


Nero Zero

So much potential, so less utilized.

The book starts good, with new and interesting plot, which is very hard to find. The writing style is good too. 

Though, there is fair amount of criticism to be had.

1. After the initial few chapters, the authors spends 3-4 chapters or innane things that are completely useless and the story could have done without.

2. Forced relationship. And I do not mean arranged marriage. The MC is forced to acknowledge his 'love' for his neighbour while said neighbor hides. Mind you, this is in the initial chapters and till this point MC himself does not know if he loves her. But because he is pressured, he loves the girl now. Oh well.

3. After a few DAYS of dating, the MC's parents start calling the girl, fiance, daughter-in-law, buying her expensive gifts, future wife of my son and so on. After few DAYS! Practically forcing that thought into the girl's mind bcz of how impressionable she is.

4. MC is weak as feather, which is good! ANd it is very difficult for MC to increase his power when compared to others. Which is also good! Because that allows him to be intresting! To work hard! To care for and fight for each and every little power up. But what does our MC do? He wants to save the girl and buy her things at his own expense because she is important to him. Face palm. He even contemplated gifting something that his parents bought him, after spending all their lafe savings to empower their son. Yet he wanted to gift it to this girl that he had been dating for a few days. DAYS! A girl that can power up easily, while he can't!

5. Then there is typical 13 year old love drama. I mean. Face palm. The situation with the girl's father could have handled much better. But that is palatable.

6. What I absolutely can not digest is this seemingly dumbing down of MC for no reason at all. I mean he is already dumb but he became even dumber. MC works out a method to increase his power but he ignores it. Then he comes across an enemy that he has no hope of defeating. MC can be conidered barely level 43 with absolutely NO SKILLS. While his enemy is at least Level 80 with 4 to 6 skills. 

MC even agrees that he should wait to power up before tackling this enemy. And in the very next paragraph, he challenges the enemy. I mean... I could only bang my head on a wall. 

And then, as if this was not enough, MC wins the fight while he is half hallucinating. And idid I mention that MC was dead tired while he won this fight? He hadn't slept for the past few days. Just cherry on the top, really. 

7. Now comes my true major peave with this story. Yes, beyond the 100 page essay I wrote above. Till now, the one thing intresting about the story was that the MC was weak. His power up menthod was extreamely difficult and he had to work hard for every bit of power. 

But now, it all has been set aside. The MC that earlier couldn't get a class, can not get all the freaking classes that exist in the world. 

Not only that, because MC 'figured out' how the 'difficult method' worked, so he can farm that method too. Because it is very easy now. 

So the only good this about this story, no longer exists. 

Despite all this, this has the potential to be a great story! Incredible even. But the author seemed to be in a rush to finish Book 1 and that has caused this mess. 

This book needs proof reading, and then it will be pure gold, till then it is pure mess.

I could not continue to Book 2. I tried and I failed.