If you like gamer Stories and worm fanfiction this is the story to read.
Even if worm tells you nothing you should go for it. Great to see it on this site.
I think deep (or not so deep) we each have a little Greg in us. Therefore this tale of Greg struggling against his autistic personality is harrowing gripping in many moments.
The story has a good beginning, but the initial cheat power becomes too strong too fast and apparently is not the only cheat the MC has.
If that isn't reigned in.this will become an average power jerk without the wit of a story like "arrogant young master template a variation 4".
But at this point it isn't too far in the OP direction so i give it a pass.
The MC is a bit aggravating with is kinda stupid personality. ("What has a sun to do with fire Dao?" potato.jpeg)
But we also see glimpses of character growth do it's bearable.
The world is standard cultivation fare with the usual logic holes (500mio people city without modern transportation, how does the food even reach half the city without spoiling with the numbers given in the story the carts would need to travel at least forty kilometers once they reach the walls of the city) but entertaining enough explained.
All in all i see potential for this to go either way and will adjust my rating accordingly.
It goes down sadly protagonist nears mentally handicapped at this point.
First of all writings is good, characters are good, grammar seems fine, system is good. Overall solid story.
What sets this story apart is first the world building and second the MC.
We have seen plenty portal fictions on this side. All different in their own ways. But one thing they (almost) all have in common. The gender equality. Magic as the great equalizer. But not in this story.
The inherent and stark sexism in this world sets interesting (new) chalanges for our mc with 21st century expectations for life.
It explores themes too often overlooked and therefore stands apart from other more comfy stories.
The second strong point is the mc. There is no talking around it, but she is kinda dumb. Or at least short sighted. She makes questionable decisions that lead to bad things. The great thing is, you don't hate her for it. The decisions are reasonable from her perspective and tbh I could find myself doing the same things.
Overall a good story.
Update: there is no character growth for Elaine, instead of endearing her childish choices become anoying. Dropped out of Patreon because I couldn't bear it.
The first chapters and premise are great and entertaining. But after the dragon meets his love interest it goes downhill.
Instead of a Dragon posing as a human it reads like a basic human reincarnates as a dragon and becomes human again story.
The unique perspective of dragonkind is completely lost.
But of you want that.l kind of romance with a good portion of smutt thrown in, you will probably love this story.
The world building is truly uninspired, nobles are dumb, honorless and haughty, adventurers part of the adventurer guild do adventurer stuff, dungeons exist, there are all the basic fantasy races. You don't need to know more.
There are all the time shifts in perspective from third person mc, third person completely clueless. I guess the author wants to use this as stylistic choice, but it doesn't work at all, mainly because it's used all the time at unfitting moments.
MC is standard, and all other characters are cardboard cutouts without real personality.
In addition to all that we don't see the MC doing any smithing or runeing for hundreds of pages.
I've tried a few stories of this genre and this is the best high tech cultivation story i enjoyed.
Tge cultivation and technology aspects are coherently integrated and form an interesting world to explore. MC is interesting, secondary characters too. A little too much on the good guys side. We see many upstanding people with an upstanding sense of honor, and a few truly evil/greedy people, but not so much in the middle ground. But it is refreshing to see a cultivation world where the top is not at least neutral evil.
The story starts promising in an interesting setting with an equaly good introduction of the MC.
After that it takes an gradual dive. Supposedly the hook of this story is that the MC is the invader of earth after Integration™️.
We see nothing of that.
The place our MC lands is fantasy jungle #17. No trace at all of earth setting, apart from a single way stronger guy. No civilization, no places, no people.
In addition to that the only other speaking character is the emotionless system that, as always, has emotions.
It only acts as presenter of long blue meaningless textboxes and long-winded exposition deliverer.
If you haven't read portal litrpg you will probably like this, as the prose is entertaining, if you already have, it's stale standard fare.
It's possible it gets better later on, but I'm not willing to invest the time slogging through the slow start.
I review at chapter 34 (Patreon).
The story is good and keeps getting better as the cast grows. Every character has an individual personality and so far there are only interesting and believable characters present. No dumb evil, no stupid good.
Dialogues are engaging and witty, world building is great.
Grammar and spelling are above average as far as I can tell as non native speaker.
If you liked Ariane from a Journey inRred and Black you will love Viviane.
Do yourself a favor and binge this as fast as you can, then suscripe to Patreon, binge that too and then stay caught in a net of addiction.
The story hits in all the right places. World building, characters, magic system, conversations. All in the five star range.
The only thing holding the story back from a perfect score is the lack of an editor. The plot points and motivation make all sense with consideration and hindsight, but the author fails to show those in the story. A second set of eyes could really improve the otherwise good delivery.
There are some strange pov changes in earlier chapters, but that peters off.
An additional complaints have is that the blindness of the MC is sometimes inconsistent or not well thought out.
At some point the MC mentions the blacksmith thaught him a little smithing. How? It's like the worst skill for a blind person. You can't work by feel (red hot iron), the job is very loud and you have to have good hand eye coordination to hit.
Like let the mc learn to whittle, or weave or anything else without hot irons. \rant
But all in all this is whining on a high level.
Give this story a shotI. Ifyou are turned of by a certain plot point, i suggest you keep reading.
Grammar and Spelling have no problems as far as I can tell as non native speaker.
The story begins with an interesting introduction of the MC and the Portal mechanic is refreshingly different.
The MC is a relatable dude who had a few bad turns it luck.
The fantasy world characters have their own believable reasons for acting. The mundane world characters in contrast seem a little flat.
This could be, because I skimmed over most flashback scenes that introduced them.
And that brings us to the worst part of the story.
A good part of the text are flashbacks to the army service of our MC. It is mostly over the top suffer porn with unbelievable situations that just don't work that way.
I won't get into detail, but every single situation has obvious ways it wouldn't go that way for real. Too obvious to hold the suspension of disbelief.
Additionally I don't want to read them at all. This is personal preference, but i came to read a portal fantasy, not a war biography. Some scenes to establish the MC are fine if course, but not half the text.
Im the end that's all fine. But this story commits one of the worst offences a litrpg can do.
It has an MC that doesn't spend his points.
All he does with his exp is buying one time boosts for his friends or inviting harem girl #x in his world. And giving them never seen before OP power boosts.
All that said it was still an entertaining read, and I didn't drop it because of the criticized points above, but because I don't like litrpgs where only the MC has a system.