With an eye for detail and a (lack of a) sense of direction, Elcy leads us in this Sci-Fi fiction to realms uncharted. Or that's what I got from the book, at least.
Follow along as we are thrust in the mind of something that is far away from the usual protagonist known to Royal Road, and yet feels so vaguely familiar and nostalgic.
- Excellent Grammar
- Imaginative, interesting, compelling, and well thought-out storytelling
- Likeable characters with a flair for higher things than two dimensions
- Well made scene-setting and world-building
- Sci-Fi goodness not found on RR
- Pace can sometimes feel off, but it's not bad
- Sometimes there's a bit too much technicality going on and words can feel like they're pouring into your mind that you struggle to get a sense of; a lot of tech drivel, as I sometimes like to call it
Overall enjoyment: Excellent.
Reasons on why to read: all the pros. Reasons against: you hate good books.
That's basically all you need to know. It's a well done mix of litRPG, portal fantasy, and cultivation novels.
The MC is well done (even if she might not be likeable to start with) and steadily grows over the course of the fiction. Her actions have increasing consequences and slowly reach beyond her immediate surroundings.
The story slowly ramps up and introduces the world, one bit at a time, without being overbearing.
The style is concise and enjoyable, and easy to read through. Grammar is top notch.
Overly winded and complex world building is introduced in snippets and at times lacks internal consistency, or worse, logic. The problems that the MC face are unique to him, have seemingly no effect on anyone else, and the rate at which they appear seem to be mostly just to push his troubles forward.
The style of the story can get a bit dull in description, but it can hold your attention to read the book. An overall positive.
The grammar is bad, the author admits it's bad, and you can only go over it and read. There's no helping it. At least it's readable English.
The Main Character is a husk of anything the author wants him to be. There's nothing apart from whimsical determination and whatever emotion is needed for the storyline. He also reminds me of Xianxia stories, a peerless talents that goes by unnoticed, somehow. The story logic tries to eek sense into it, but not overly convincing. The other characters seem fine, actually somewhat grounded in ability and measure.
The actual goal of the story is somewhat known, the MC is moving closer to it, but most of what happened between the start and the latest chapters don't want to align to it unless forcefully.
Overall, good story, decent storytelling, requires more polish. Not a litRPG.
I'm trying to find a way to describe how I feel about this fiction. I probably won't find a proper one, but I'll have a go.
'Bitter' describes a life of a less-than-popular high-school girl who enjoys dishing out the treatment she herself endures. It's eerily reminiscent of real life, in both good ways and bad. Add in a VR to the mix, and you have yourself a story.
Update: I went and read the entire story, all 594 chapters (currently) of it.
To say that the story is infuriating would be an understatement. It's meant to annoy the reader. The main character is baffling. She always tries to take the easy way out, then somehow gets rewarded by it.
But that's the beauty of the story. The main character is baffling. The world baffles more around her. Together, they both compliment and contradict each other, playing a game of cat and mouse.
The storyline is fluid. Small events producing large outcomes, small storylines converging onto a larger scope.
The style of the story is quick, easy, and at least as addictive as the game in the story, if not more. Prepared in bite-sized chunks, you don't want to stop until you overeat.
Minor grammar errors, nothing important.
Flawless victory for mooderino.
I was pleasantly surprised to encounter a hidden gem of these proportions. The story starts a bit slowly and takes a bit of time to reach the points covered in the synopsis, but the neat writing style, excellent (but not perfect) grammar and a sort of dry wit that you can find in intelligent work can sway you to keep going.
Our of the four main characters, I feel that Alpine seems to lack focus and/or growth. His background doesn't cover his motives and his character seems to sway between likeable and miserable.
The world building in the story is great, and a lot of miniscule details added that make it feel fledged out.
Although two of the characters seem to be the driving force of the group, none feel left out, even if it sometimes might feel better to do just that to advance the story.
Overall, this story is a slow burner that should be paid attention to and I think it deserves a lot more recognition than it does currently.
I can only encourage the author to keep going (and maybe make RR his primary place of publishing, instead of his WordPress, I don't like switching sites).
Good grammar (that probably just needs a quick passthrough to fix) and very easygoing and direct style lend itself to readability.
The character traits of the MC are between 'well developed' and 'predictable' for the genre. It's the almost generic 'stern, yet somewhat naive, up-and-coming hero' character.
The story has a few good hooks, some decent worldbuilding, and the characters are generally likeable, relatable, or heck, even appear to be malleable by what they have went through.
Unfortunately, the author decided to stray away from introduced world-building, and put a literal God to drive the plot in an moment of necessity. While not unheard of, it could've possibly be done with greater finesse if it was taken care of earlier and with already given/explained world building tools, which were actually novel and interesting, and could give the fiction a push.
I'm also weirded out by the obvious conflict between what the MC had done and what was done to him in regards to class giving.
The class doesn't appear to get decent benefits from being alone, even though his first 'achievement' was literally soloing a dungeon
All in all, I can't give this fiction more than 3.5. It has good hooks and a decent writing style, but I felt that single moment in execution cost a lot more than it should've.
But I'm probably not the one you should be listening anyway. If you manage to get past chapter 15, then you're a better person than I.
Rise of the Lord offers a quite... unique perspective and a bit detached narrative that plays well into the hearts of strategists.
However, the detached storytelling and various missing pieces, such as hanging plotlines or lack of proper character interaction and development, make this a somewhat drier read at times.
The main character doesn't experience, or show, growth. He is just shown being a great strategist, and wins coming so easily just makes me feel like the previous ruler was incapable and/or unwilling by comparison.
Furthermore, there is a distinct sign of dropping or suspending plotlines that don't focus on the now and on fighting, as well as any lack of veritable contact between nobility in an era in which such contact would be assumed to be a given.
I'm suspending disbelief that a new, young, virile, unmarried head of a noble house is not pestered with offers from other nobles one way or the other.
So far, the story is good, but adding more elements that go beyond bandit disposal would go a long way towards making it more believable.
I thought I could handle it honestly. But I couldn't, not by a longshot.
The premise of the work is novel: What happens to the Necromancer that decides to do good?
Royal Road and many other places have seen Necromancers as selfish pseudo-slave-owners, but Daniel is trying to break the mould here with the author's insistence of him remaining true to the peaceful and devout worship of eternal rest.
The story moves at a distinctly rapid pace. Or, it would, if the author didn't love exposition so much.
So much information is crammed needlessly at the start of the story. I am reminded of reading through game guides or cheat sheets of information intended to be used in min-maxing a character.
The prologue is somewhat detached, from both the story and the style of writing. The first chapter, or should I say the first flashback, is riddled with exposition. If it would be spread better throughout the story instead of dumped all at once, people could maybe take a breath between reading upon encyclopedic explanations of terms.
The author often makes basic grammatical mistakes, usually in the form of misplaced apostrophes for possessives and plurals. Other times, we are privy to cut-off sentences or dialogue that could be formatted better. I'd say a proofreader could fix 90% of the grammatical errors in their first read-through. If that is fixed in the final, private version of the fiction (which I assume exists), then that is great. If not, I'd urge the author to start doing it.
The main character is decently built in the first few chapters, based on what little information is not exposition. His point of view allows for a good estimation of his character, but it doesn't provide much content beyond that, and a lot of what he says should be referred more in his mannerisms rather than dialogue.
The dialogue is messy, often too cookie-cutter and formulaic. The characters' dialogue sounds like a single person's sometimes. Sometimes they sounded like reading off a grocery list to me. A lot of dialogue centres on getting the reader up-to-date, but it can sound overdone, eerily reminiscent of NPCs in a game.
I'm conflicted about which score I should give. If there's a time when I revisit the start of this fiction (which I'm basing the review on, the first seven chapters), I'll also reconsider my score accordingly.
A Dungeon story where the protagonist is not a Dungeon itself or connected to one is a relatively uncharted territory and Vocaloid's storytelling is both riveting and concise enough to push through.
The main character has inherent flaws and a goal to work towards to, and the attention to detail makes it an interesting read.
Adding to that a steady release date of sizeable chapters, and the story is being put together nicely.
There's an odd sense of rooting for the underdog when reading through the story of the main character, and the author plays to the strengths of the genre and the novelties of the story well.
Late Night at Lund's (henceforth abbreviated as LNL) is a recent addition to RRL, and one of the works that I binge read within a day.
I'll start with an easy one, Grammar
I'm giving this a 4.5, but a 5 here is easily warranted. There are a few too many sentences that had an error or were disjointed or wrong for a perfect score. Do note that this still leaves LNL incredibly good, and I'm probably even making this up as I've been reading it at 2AM. Case in point, nigh perfect, minor errors, nothing a proofreader couldn't fix in 10 minutes.
This one's a bit of a doozy. The narration sometimes goes all over the place. There is insufficient differentiation between narration, monologue, and thoughts, and it has made a couple of sentences and paragraphs messy where they were mashed together. Perhaps it is just me, or because I'm orienting this based on past experiences and advice I've personally received from other writers, but I found that annoying on more than one occasion.
As for the narration itself, it can suffer from being too wide on one shot and too narrow on the other, but I don't think that's as big of a complaint. The author has decided which things are worth being investigated (heh) more and which fell into the background, and that's alright.
This feels like a D&D campaign, and it should, all things considered. However, some of the dialogue and descriptions were glossed over or hurried through, while some monologue, especially on the morality axis of the things, were repeated throughout. While I agree that the latter is important, some key scenes felt lacking because the dialogue felt rushed, misleading, or just flat-out dropped. While this may, of course, be a part of storytelling where more information could be relevant later, as is the example with the name in the latest chapter (66), it felt lacking at times to have subjects and matters dropped (both into and out) for no apparent reasoning.
The characters should be the driving force of the story, and they feel like they are, with a few blips along the way. They are believable, flawed in their own way, and have their own reasons for being a part of the story (albeit some of those fall under the story fallacy mentioned above).
Perhaps this review is too early to be telling of how LNL turns out, but I'll be reading it nevertheless, and it may change should the need arise.
I'm giving this fiction a 5. Yes, my other scores don't quite add up, but the story itself is greater than the sum of its parts.