I first read this earlier in the day while browsing the site. Throughout the rest of the evening, I found myself constantly thinking about this story, so I decided to come back and write a review. It must be deserving of one if I continued to mentally revisit it while going about my daily business.
To start, I must say that I enjoyed what I've seen of Jasmine so far. While at the time of this review I only have access to chapter 1, what I've seen of the main character so far has been very enjoyable. She has a relatable mentality and is written in a way that makes her believable and realistic. I look forward to her development!
I'm also enjoying the setting and starting point of the story. Names of people and places are creative, and the writing alludes to other elements that will, hopefully, get their time to shine on the page. I found myself craving more of this flavor.
Can't wait for more!
I smell potential! You have a story here that can go so far. It just needs a little editing. Maybe some more detail too. Stretch it out just a little bit longer. Really let your characters experience the world you're writing them into. Short chapters are great, on the other hand, because a short chapter has little chance of overwhelming the reader. I have that problem, personally. Most of my chapters are pushing 5000 words. I'm my own worst enemy :D lol
Good job overall! Keep it up! Don't be afraid to ask for advice from members or on the forums when it comes to structure, editing, or even direction. Stories are living, breathing things and are ever-changing. I look forward to seeing more from you. You've earned a follow from me!
The first thing I noticed, right off the bat, is you know how to paint a picture. The words you use are descriptive and pull me into the story. Chapter 1 ends on a certain note that encourages me to continue, and that’s valuable. I can’t wait to read more!
This story is right up my alley. The concept is absolute gold. Definitely checks all the kink boxes for me. I see this story having a lot of potential in its direction. There are so many places it could go, and I can see it being a decent length. There are so many possibilities, and I can’t wait to read more. I’m definitely a follower. :D