This story has gamelite elements that I usually don’t really like, but I still found it interesting because of the author great story telling and what they chose to focus on. I will start with what seemed to be the focus since it gives example to the story telling. In my opinion, and this is only my opinion, a focus is on a sort of depressive view on life and the hardship and struggle that can be experienced from it. Even when improvements are made, the main character still struggle to survive. I used the word ‘depressive’ because the main character is alone in a world full of danger and they keep living without any real goal, only to maybe see the light of hope by pure luck. It’s almost as if the first part was a love letter for depressive and suicidal thoughts. This is all the more impactful when the gamelite elements are presented as they act like the slight ray of hope that try to show that life isn’t so bad.
The hardships are always present and the bonus the main character gain, mostly, only allows them to keep on living and to present the wonderful world that this author created. In my opinion, the story deserve praise.
For the style, the story uses a lot of description. It allows to create wonderful imagery. But I felt that some parts were too long and other parts too short. I think this flaw is shared with every story that rely heavily on description since there are parts that can be guessed and parts that are understood wrongly. I think it’s an impossible balance since each reader will imagine the world differently. Still, I fell like it does a lot more good than bad in this story.
For the characters. I can only really use the main character as an example from where I am in the story since he is the main focus of the story. Still, he has a lot of quirk and a believable personality. The darker tone of the story fit well with him since he reacts like most people would. Basically, he is a likeable character!
Finally, for the grammar, I didn’t see any mistake.
For some reason, I almost felt like the story was written with a certain beat in mind. Some part, I felt like I was humming a song more than I was reading a story. This sort of flow mixed with a first-person narrative style of a character who does show much emotion made for an interesting mix. The few times where this type of flow was altered was when a character who lived a completely different life than the main character spoke. Her is an example from the story to better show it:
A few more minutes pass, and the car skids to a halt. As the squeal of the tires touches my ears, so does the sound of Vela.
"Man, it took long enough"
I do not know If I’m reading too much into it, but I find that it helps build the main character who lived a mostly secluded life, and is used to this type of life, met a somewhat cultural shock of a buzzing life in a city. It’s almost as if the author is managing to tell a story with a certain beat of some written words... Like I said, I might be reading too much into it, but if I am right, doesn’t that mean that the story isn’t made by an amateur and it should be given a try?
I think the above explain well the style of this story. For the grammar, I simply saw no mistake. For the story and the character, since the story is currently short, I would invite those reading this review to try 2-3 chapters since it would allow to have a good idea for those. But for the sake of those that do not wish to read, the story kind of get close to a poetical one push man where the main character gets a lot of her strength from nature. This also blend into her personality has she is almost like a best in human clothing that rely on their own instinct more than anything. The fight scenes are told in her perspective, and we see better how she think. Thus, the story is built at a similar rate that the main character is. I won’t say anything about side character since its too early. I can only say that they exist and have a say in where the story goes.
In my opinion, this is an excellent story with a lot of work put into. The focus isn’t all placed on the main character but allows for many points of view which allow to greatly expand on how we view the world set in this story. Also, even if the story uses Chinese fantasy elements, there is no point where it needs heavy knowledge of this type of fantasy and can also be a good starting point for those wanting to learn about this genre.
The story, from what I can see, is split into arcs which change when the main character moves to a new location. Those changes are never done in a rushed way since we always learn small things about the world that when a change is done, we have an idea of what is going on and without being burdened by long exposition. This is done well since the story focuses on political intrigues which affect or could affect the whole world.
One thing that I really love is that every character stays humble to their strength when facing the dangers of the world. I say this because it forces the characters to use their brain to solve things and not rely on any Deus ex machina. This makes every plot point matter and a risk.
I think there is another full arc from where I am, so I will add more things to this review when I am done reading it. Still, one thing I noticed is that the story gets better with every chapter.
So I am currently up to date with the chapters. Here is the biggest selling point for this story. With all the elements presented throughout the story, theories on the plotline and the world can be made. It allows to care about the story as it insists wonders for the future chapters!
In a ways, when looking at other reviews, the grammar is often talked about. Still, the amount of mistakes that take away from the read are really few. On this point, I often care more about a story that is able to give wonders and imagination from the words it use, more than a story that is only skillful at stringing letters since without a good story telling, only comes close to spelling the alphabet.
This is this story strongest point. It's able to give wonder and make you think about the future of some fictional characters.
The biggest flaw in this story is that it simply goes too fast for the first few chapters. It feels like a draft with some adjective added. This might be an exaggeration, but when I compare the start with the end, a change can be seen. So, it’s something that is good in a way. Be it consciously or not, an improvement can be seen. Instead of going at light speed, it takes more time to describe action taken and the environment.
For the style: the story is told in the first person and is well done. I think there are things that can be improved from how the main character is perceived. At time, he acts cool and in control, other time he is stressed and all over the place. It’s not a bad thing since it shows the character is reacting to world, but there are times that I feel isn’t done well.
Character: continuing the above idea, when the main character gets “something” his moral standard is almost instantly lowered to the point where he is fine doing act he considered crime. I don’t mind this at all, but the part I did not like was that the change was almost instantly. This is mainly cause because I don’t really know the character well until he is presented with this change. Again, this is from the start going too fast. But the change could be something interesting to see knowing that the character enter dilemma for other things. Again, this I don’t fault in the rating for 2 raisons. 1 is because the speed gets fixed, and 2 is that there could be something in the story that change him a bit, from the “something” above. But still, it gets confusing to have the main character really stress for a moment and the next he is chill and making prank on other (ex.: The broken desk part). So, a smoother transition could help
Grammar: There might be bigger mistake in my review than in the story. There are some, but they are really few in number and look more like t typo (<- like that) than mistace (<- like that). Which is good.
Story: The story itself make me think of the manwha the Gamer. I read it a long time ago, but I can find similarity.
A lot of the things I pointed can feel like nitpicking, but there are a lot of good things with this story. A lot of those things are said in other review. Telling the same thing as them would be wrong since it only gives a fabricated feel to this review and thus the story.
Under are details on why I feel the story go too fast at the start and it contain spoiler.
The MC has a power that can duplicate things. He does it by entering a world that reflect the real one. He can duplicate something by taking them from this world and into the real one. Another thing that this power do is to keep the velocity of the object from the real world to the reflected one. This is shown with cars crashing into one another. SO. Here what it can mean as this is all we know of. Two people and 1 really dense ball that weight a lot. A small hole in a table where the ball can fit into. From what the author has shown, here how to break his world: place the ball on the table, MC go into reflected world, he takes the ball, this means the ball duplicated. One in the real world on the table and one in the MC hand. The other man takes the ball and place it in the hole. MC takes his ball and place it in the hole. Both balls are in a different world but at the same location. MC come back to the real world with his ball... Now... what happen? A black hole? Weird game physic? I have no idea.
So, the biggest criticism is that the author tries to make the mc have cool power and all but doesn’t utilize it to its full extend or doesn't tell its limits. A broken MC is fine and all but its fun when this is something that is understood. I don’t think that I, a reader, should be able to find ways to abuse the MC power more than the one that created them. The author gives “power-up”, in the chapter I am at, that feel like nerf in comparison to his “weak” power.
Like I said, the author slows down a bit by chapter 5 I think, and it really help the story. Such improvement is nice since it mean the story will only get better.
Red mist is a calm and relaxing story that follows Freya, a small and young mouse, as she tries to understand the path she wants her life to take. It flows like a story made for children yet has a thematic that can still be enjoyed by adults. It’s in a way a good story to tell your kids and a story to relax.
The story's strong point comes from the dialogues that are the main narrative movement that bind all the small scenes. The narrative follows the main heroine but still allows enough space for the side character to be known and loved. It set an interesting world where many small parts are set up for now but are not yet fully explored. This is not really wrong since the story is taking its time which allows for every character to be those that are explored and being part of the story’s strong point like I said.
The story also is able to keep a sense of wonder by the small details it gives such as giant chickens.
I wasn’t able to see any grammatical mistakes and the story kept a high and constant quality. Still, this is an early review since the story can take many paths just as Freya has many paths to choose from.
The world could be interpreted as a world where humans have gone missing and small critters have taken some way of life from them. At times, the story would form different and adorable ideas in my mind. One of them was like I was looking at videos of small animals doing strange and funny things together. The other formed something similar to an animated show where it shows a world of characters, all with great and many expressions, would do their own things surrounded by a multitude of chaotic yet orderly mass of characters. They would use the many things left in the world to the best they could understand them and always bring fresh new vision to the world.
This story also give wonder for the creator other story since I think they are in the same world.
From the beginning, the story shows a lot of care and love that was put into it. The characters are well developed and are memorable. The story flows very well and is able to place you in the scenery. This story could have a good future if each chapter is as good as the last.