slay_mithos

slay_mithos

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Cultivating Dungeon

Surprisingly better than I anticipated

The writing is nice, and the story is not filled with "windows" everywhere or stats aside from mana.

 

I am still not very far into it, but the flow of the text feels natural, and I haven't seen any glaring problem with the use of english either.

 

The spin of taking a character from a wuxia/xanxia instead of your usual NEET is also an interesting spin on the whole thing.

 

I'll be reading what's left for now, but unless something dramatically changes my view, I'll probably not update this.


Blooming Thorn in Another World

The premise sounds nice, the characters are alright, but the grammar and style makes it hard to get into the story and focus on it.

 

Blocks of text, odd indentation at the start of paragraphs, short chapters, some of which are saying the exact same thing from a slightly different perspective (PoV of the main character and then a few chapters later PoV of an other one, with barely any differences).

 

The whole thing screams of missed opportunities.

 

I am only up to chapter 9 for now, so things might get better later on, with the author learning from experience, but the first impression makes it harder to actually get into the story.

 

As for the opportunities, the world building seems different enough to be interesting, the characters sound like they are not mere tropes (for now), so it does have promises.

The retelling of parts from an other point of view  could also add a lot, if it actually enhanced the scene with descriptions and thoughts from the other character past a mere mention here and there.

 

The tone from the start seems to be fairly light hearted from the writing style, while mentioning slightly more serious things, but I personally like that style (too bad most of those turn into serious dramas about betrayal and all that though, like blue mage raised by dragons, the first part of that novel was really enjoyable to read).

 

Once I get the time, I'll push through the chapters to see how it develops, because of the interesting things and the potential, but the first chapters really are not good at hooking you into wanting to read more until you reach the last published chapter and are craving for more.


The Slime Dungeon Chronicles (prequel)

Dungeon story, with slimes, so the basis is good, and it doesn’t go too deep in the “game-like” genre, with quantifiable stats everywhere.

 

The author definitely is not at a pro writer level (yet), with style and grammar being a bit lacking, but nothing experience and feedback can’t fix.

 

By style, I mean everything, from descriptions to the flow of the story. It is by no mean bad, but abusing the “no actual memory” syndrome to cover the lack of description makes the story slightly worse as a result.

I am not saying everything needs to be overly descriptive, but aside from vague descriptions on forms and colours, we know very little about any of the characters that seem to be important for the story, even on the two main characters.

For example (slight spoiler of the first chapters), the “companion” builds a small home for itself, and it is specified that it decorates it and makes furnitures for it, but even the scenes happening in that place don’t really describe it much (if at all).

It is small things like that that could really push the style to a higher level.

 

For grammar, it’s not all that bad, but there are definitely cases where wrong words are used, or some phrases that are off because of the construction.

Again, nothing experience and feedback can’t fix, and definitely not as bad as quite a few novels on this site (some are even hard to understand, and quite a few have a lot of grammatical errors), but worth mentioning, so that the author and readers are aware of it.

 

As for the characters, I am near the end of the first book, and none of the characters are really built upon, they have a name, we know roughly how they act, but that’s about it, making it a bit hard to care about them.

This seems to be a thing that’s hard to do right for writers, with two sides doing it “wrong”, the lacklustre like here, and the over developed one-dimentional, and not being able to write anything decent myself, I have no idea on how to do it right, as even some high profile books/movies/games don’t do it particularly right.

 

At least we don’t have the trope of “I have knowledge from my old world and I’m making a harem” (at least for now), or the “I don’t want to hurt anyone even when I’m back stabbed”, so there is that.

 

 

I know all of this sounds hyper critical, especially from someone that is not able to write something even close to this, but it comes from me enjoying the novel overall and wanting the author to learn as he goes, to be able to write even better as it goes on (and his future works too).

 

I still recommend reading it if you are have an interest in the “I’m the dungeon master” type of novels like me, because there are things to like in there.

 

EDIT: 5 stars means "no way to improve" or "perfect" for me, 2.5 means it's not that great, and bellow that means sub par, so 3 stars is already "ok" on my scales, and 5 would mean that it's more or less perfect.

Those are my personal rules for noting, I'm just putting it here so that there is no confusion for the people that see 4 and bellow as "bad".


(On Hold) Regarding my time being a God, it was fun

Started differently, starting to be a lot like others

The writing is nice, but the start of the story hinted more toward a light hearted story, before suddenly going toward the standard route of "powerful enemy appears".

 

The first volume was a very nice read for me.

But going toward the same route as so many others (be it translation or not), forcing the protagonist to be under pressure from more powerful entities instead of building the characters and the world...

It really felt forced, especially after taking time to make a nice starting environment, that hinted toward a more laid back story.

 

Either way, the first volume is nice to read, and you can decide if you like the changes after that, because there are obviously people that will enjoy that too, it's a personal taste.


The Blue Mage Raised by Dragons

I was not expecting much, just having an hour to kill, but this story is not about serious business, betrayal and all that like usually.

 

It is all about a fairly light hearted story, written in correct English (at least I didn't stop on major grammatical errors while reading).

The chapters are definitely a bit short though, so you expect a lot more content from those 40+ chapters, but I definitely prefer to spend a few hours having fun reading over some of those stories that you need to decipher, especially since it seems to be updated regularly at the moment.

The style is also definitely not at the level of a professional writer, the characters are not very fleshed out, and it really shows that it's the work of a fairly new writer, but it's enjoyable anyway.

 

Without spoiling, I will just say that the take on the undead army made me actually laugh the first few times.


Slime Tamer's Chronicles

I really enjoy your concepts and your stories, because they are fresh and fairly well written, but because you don't reach the level of my favourite author(Pratchett), I can't put max stars.

 

But really, having fantasy stories with female characters that are not just following boys is refreshing, after reading a lot of japanese works.

 

Anyway, I am looking forward to new chapters, even though they are coming out less frequently than they used to.