Spicy Space Squid
The first thing that jumped out at me when I saw this fic was its title, and not necessarily for a good reason. I was immediately concerned for the story's grammar because of a lack of capitalization and because it was reminiscent of the style of title one would commonly associated with a poorly translated light novel. With that said, I was pleasantly surprised to find myself engaged and continuing to read it even after a few chapters.
Style - 3/5
I'm not a huge fan of the excessive repetition. It breaks me out of the flow, which is otherwise quite nice. For example, Felldom is used five times between paragraphs 3, 4, and 5 in the prologue, and threat is used four over a slightly longer timespan. This persists into the later chapters, with names repeated incessantly and few descriptions used in their places. I also think some of the phrasing could be a lot better with another pass, potentially from an editor.
Story - 5/5
I'm a fan of the concept. Gods watching mortals fight back against their failures is always fun, and I love how this feels inspired by myth. The obvious setup for weak to strong pulls my heartstrings as well.
I spot a lot of minor mistakes here and there, both with regards to tense and otherwise, but nothing an editor wouldn't be able to fix rather quickly. I have some other nitpicks about the structure,
The main character is fairly entertaining and the sibling relationship is believable, and I can see why the characters behave the way that they do. I like how the main character actually feels human. The incident with the wolf was the sort that some readers might've been frustrated with, as it's a clear poor choice, but it seems like the sort that a real person could make.
The premise itself is nothing new, but I'm loving the execution. The system appears to be heavily based in DnD over something with a more asian-style influence, which comes with both its benefits and downsides. One example of a concern I have that results from a DnD style system is that an 8 in a stat is dismal whereas a 13 is hero level. Unless there are decimal values, which I haven't seen so far, it feels to me like the size of the gap is too small even if they're all at rank 1. With that said, it may be a bit too early to judge this atm.
The pacing is on the medium-slow side, which in my books at least is a good thing. I like how it feels like it's setting up for a very long grand journey. I'm liking the author's humour as well.
I like the way that the writing flows and how the sentences are often highly varied in terms of structure. I'm also enjoying the way that this author uses images, though admittedly I understand that will not be very everyone. Some are likely to cringe upon seeing them visualized as opposed to described in line.
To be completely honest, I wasn't a huge fan of there being a main quest at first, but it fit in surprisingly well. The story itself is, so far, shaping up to be a standard portal fantasy type. Main character is jumping through a lot of the standard hoops in the form of goodwill, a favourable assessment while holding back, and even then follows up with the standard goblin/wolf/etc kill quest. It's nothing super innovative, but enjoyable nonetheless.
I do admit I'm a little worried about the whole "I'm a friend to the race that people look down on thing" making it such that the story winds up a little on the preachy side, but for the time being there's nothing wrong with it.
There are some nitpicks I have here and there but it's highly polished compared to a lot of the other stuff I see on RR.
I love how sassy it is at the start, but there are some minor points that I think could use some work. One major standout is how quickly the main character is willing to accept that they've been transported to another world. Perhaps this could be elaborated on some more?
That issue aside, the characters seem believable for the most part, a little far on the good natured and friendly side, but I can still imagine real people behaving the same way, as they are not necessarily in times of duress, and it seems like their society is fairly well off overall for this type of setting. (Ie. there is no duress to drive them to be more selfish and less kind.)