Clive_Adkins

Clive_Adkins

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    1. I don't know what I'm doing.

      book here take everything written with a grain of salt, it's subject to change. https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/41353/sovereign-of-loss-book-1-invader I know what I want to write but I have no idea (...)


    2. Re: Synopsis Opinions

      are you familiar with the prince of persia series perhaps in the second game the character is chased by a supernatural creature (cant remember what the thing is called, but its persistent dangerous and (...)


    3. Re: Synopsis Opinions

      I would treat haru as a side character at the start then, put the focus on the organization, what are they doing and why?  I'm writing a book with a similar organization (this organization is planned (...)


    4. need help establishing a baseline

      Ive rewritten this work and the start of it I can't tell you how many times  https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/41353/sovereign-of-loss-book-1-invader/chapter/653301/chapter-1-funeral-toll I've had (...)


    5. Re: looking to get my story off to a better start (need to pull off a bunch of timeskips while keeping things (...)

      not quite that bad but I just cant write dialogue (especially back and fourth) very well


    6. Re: looking to get my story off to a better start (need to pull off a bunch of timeskips while keeping things (...)

      As for the next chapter, it's really all over the place. I know what you're trying to do, but you're including the introduction of characters in making the illusion of the state of depression. The POV (...)


    7. looking to get my story off to a better start (need to pull off a bunch of timeskips while keeping things coh (...)

      Book here https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/41353/sovereign-of-loss-book-1-invader Most of my problems seem to stem from grammar and how I handle dialogue. but the start is especially bad because of (...)


    8. Re: Seeking a coherency check

      the story starts at the end, gives a brief summary, and reverts to the beginning where it all started and sort of jumps to the present day. the biggest issue I have had is with conveying that accurately (...)


    9. Seeking a coherency check

      Wrote and rewrote a novel prologue morphed into a volume on its own, and started editing for the sake of coherency, never took any formal writing class and am looking for an audit as it were on readability (...)


    10. Writing those smaller moments

      you know what I'm talking about, the parts that land between the exposition, climaxes and plot twists that do so much to flesh out characters and the world. what are your tips, experiences, do you like (...)


    11. Re: Need help coming up with 'Original Sins'

      @originking, the number of posts is too darn many... Besides, I'd doubt any of the seven sins are actually against nature. Against the functions of a society, yes, but if dropping a meteor and wiping (...)


    12. Re: Need help coming up with 'Original Sins'

      'Against nature' is a slightly strong term. As was pointed out, several creatures kill their kin naturally. Even humans have done so, with many disputes about royal succession, etc., leading to conflict (...)


    13. Re: Need help coming up with 'Original Sins'

      How about lying to make yourself look bad, a la Hikigaga Hachiman/Sakuta scapegoat self-degredation? You'd be willingly lowering your own ego. taking it a step further martyrdom being a sin could (...)


    14. Re: Need help coming up with 'Original Sins'

      I’m gonna be a bit of a stinker here, but I have to ask how you came to the conclusion that parricide is considered against nature while murder is not. Similarly what about animals that kill their kin, (...)


    15. Re: Need help coming up with 'Original Sins'

      Peace - enforced unnatural peace. Like a druid grove that is without balance, all sunshine and flowers, no mushrooms and corpses. Or some other type of peace that fits your intention/world better. (...)


    16. Need help coming up with 'Original Sins'

      So In the work that I'm writing there is a certain type of being known as a sovereign  sovereigns essentially are people who have committed a 'sin' that goes against nature itself, sovereigns are more (...)


    17. Re: How to describe a brutal death

      If you want to know more about swords and other things I suggest googling the term HEMA it stands for Historical European Martial Arts. most of what we know about medieval combat is reconstructed from (...)


    18. Re: How to describe a brutal death

      This is a PSA from your resident sword nerd, you have been warned. okay as far as the whole swordsman terminology goes I hate the term not due to the gender assignment but due to the fact that there (...)


    19. Re: I hate this fight scene, how do i make it better?

      one thing that sticks out to me is that none of the blows seem to carry any purpose or weight.  what is the intent behind every blow? what is this person's capacity for violence? are they holding themselves (...)


    20. Re: Looking for a collaborator/proofreader/mentor

      It has become clear to me that having Ideas is one thing and executing them is another entirely.    I did a review swap and it's clear that I have a lot of work to do, I agreed with everything said in (...)