YoanRoturier

YoanRoturier

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My Quiet Life

INTRO (You can skip it if you want)

The bus driver starts the engine, drives down the main road in direction of nowhereland, and turns left.

STYLE SCORE: 4 stars

The style is smooth. Your eyes will slide through the words like soap does on wet skin. Waurpel likes to explain things in detail which lets us progressively, but most of all smoothly understand the background, world-building, and all the other settings. The author writes so many details that I think it's a bit abusive sometimes. However, that's my personal point of view and taste. For references, I like action-packed, comedy, and well-paced stories.

Here, it's a bit different from what I'm used to reading. It starts slow-paced.  Chap 1 is fine. BUT, to my mind, chap 2 and 3 are too long, although they are essential for what's following. The story really picks up the pace at chap 4. Do not misunderstand me, slow-paced doesn't necessarily mean boring. The way the scenes flow is so accurate you feel it through your bones. I'm just not a fan of too 'many details'. I believe readers should get their share of imagination on what's happening, instead of describing everything, yet, description is necessary.

The bus driver turns right, enters the Md drive, and orders a cheeseburger.

GRAMMAR SCORE: 5 stars

I have no issues here. But I didn't feel or read any grammar issues, apart from some typos. So it deserves 5 stars for me because a story posted on the web cannot be perfect.

The bus driver turns around to look at the monkey that came uninvited and is thrashing grandma Totos's fuzzy white hair.

STORY SCORE: 4.5 stars

As of the time I'm writing this review only eleven chapters are out. From what I've seen, we're delving into the life of an aristocratic girl that's going to... well change. It is fairly interesting. The first chapter does its job to keep the reader interested with a mysterious ending, provided you read it to the end. As I said previously, chap 4 is where this is going to be entertaining, as another mystery greets you like an old friend. So if you give this a read, at least read it until chap 4 and decide for yourself later. From this point on, from each answer given another mystery is added. Which is need, and keeps me wanting for more.

However, as I said before, there are only eleven chaps by the time I write this review. So, they are too few of them for me to accurately judge it. BUT from what I've read so far, it is good enough to keep my attention. So 4.5 stars for the encouragement.

The bus driver is in fact a monkey himself.

CHARACTER SCORE: 5 stars

It is pretty rare to see the first chaps of a book with a lot of introduced characters go so well. Even with their numbers, I wasn't lost at all because the author doesn't tarry on them. We are given enough info on the side characters to understand them, but not so much as to get lost in.

The state of mind of the MC is amazingly done. I did not expect that. We're feeling what she sees, hears, touch, tastes, and smells. Using the five senses is essential for full immersion and this story does it!

There is another character that is well depicted and introduced later, but I'm not going to say who because of spoilers.

The monkey bus driver, with a banana sword in hand, kindly invites all passengers to exit the vehicle.


OVERALL SCORE: 5 stars

I'm giving 5 overall because the story deserves it. Nothing more, nothing less. This is probably one of the few stories outside my usual reading I would give 5 stars to. If you don't believe me here are my arguments:

1) Go take a look at my reviews
2) I did write a lengthy review, which is nowhere near my habits.
3) Calm down I'll give you a cupcake. (Yes, this is bribery).

This bus driver sub-story doesn't make any sense, so I'm gonna stop here.

Anyway, this is where my review ends. Unfasten your seat belt and get to reading.

Good job author and keep up the good work.

Cheers!

Y.R.

 

 

 

 


Second Life's Game: Hell

The writing style makes it easy to read. The story is alright but I can't really judge for now since only 6 chaps are out.

What you could improve (according to me):

- Game stats presentation. On RR there are various tools available to authors. Such as tables, coloring, etc. Use those to further highlight the stats.

- Exposition. There is too much exposition for me. Try to lighten the exposition or give piece by piece to the readers (at a slow pace.) For example, the paragraphs explaining the lore at the beginning aren't necessary. You could just explain what's happening litlle by little. Even without reading it, I think would still have understood the story.

- Give it time.

Anyway, keep up the good work.


How Far We've Come

It is hard to review the story, as each chapter is a new story in itself. Well at least for now. It seems that this book is a collection of short stories about individuals having shitty lives. I might be wrong, but at the time I write this review only four chapters are out.

Characterwise, since each chaps have their own MC it is very hard to judge. There are two possibilities. If each chap is a story of its own then the characters aren't developped enough. However, if the characters are somewhat linked down the line, then it might become interesting.

The style is... not something I'm fund of. The descriptions are reduced to the strict minimum, or are nonexistent. The description focus more on the characters' feelings and thoughts, but I could never really from a real picture of their surroundings.

The grammar is correct, but could use an edit. Word choices however can be confusing at times. Check out some of the edit proposition I've made, it should help you out. Though, I haven't pointed out everything I found. Also, try to avoid complicated word choices for now. Look for more simplistic terms. Yes, they are less stylish, but your story will become clearer. Later on, when you've gained experience, you can come back and add some stylish word choices.

Overall, I think the concept is intriguing, but the updates aren't consistent. Be mindful of your deadlines, author.

Courage, and keep up the good work!


Battlemaster's Gambit A LITRPG Monstergirl Harem Adventure

Battle master's gambit is a litrpg alright. The stats are well developed, so stats geeks it can be a fun read. I'm not much of a fan of too many stats, but that my personal taste.
As for the Harem, it is pretty classic and furthermore highlighted by the fact that the girls are... well literally items. They have their own personality which is nice. But they are totally submissive.
The storytelling so far is a bit slow for me. I think there is too much exposition on the first and second chapters. The third and fourth pick up the pace. But still, it can be hard to read the first chaps. I would advise clearing the huge ass paragraphs of tens of lines. It did not encourage me to read through them and seriously I did not lose my understanding of the story. Anyway, the flow can be improved.

I personally can't judge the story in itself as there are too few chapters. It seems okay, but nothing out of the ordinary, for now at least.

Grammarwise there a few tweaks and beans, but nothing major. Another edit should do the trick to correct those.

Anyway, I think these series got potential. Just gotta work on the pace of the story that feels a bit slow for now.

Keep up the good work.


The Future That Never Was

Hey! This was one hell of a good ride! Let me explain why.

Style score: Detail descriptions with a point of humor on top of that! It let the reader picture the scene with quite with accuracy! The small downside to this for me, is that it gives little space to imagination. But that's just my own preferences.

Story score: So far, it's quite good. We follow the adventure of a bounty hunter or an Auxilary of Justice as the author writes haha. Found that detail quite fun. It's proof that the author gave his story a lot of thoughts.

Grammar score: Little to no issues here. I've pointed out just one little thing but really, the author clearly edited his chapter well enough, before posting it.

Character score: Now that's what I liked the most. The two MCs are quite the duo! A beautiful female bounty hunter with a personality that seems a bit anti-heroic and selfish, but heck I like it. The cat tho... is my favorite so far haha. A cat pilot, that actually surprised me. I was like "Heck how does a cat even pilot a spaceship?"

Anyway, pretty good sci-fi read overall.

Keep up the good work!