I think the premise of this story is great. I know it might feel like it has been done before, but since it is so easily relatable, it cannot be overdone. There are so many promising things you can do with Schools of Magic and this one is promising. I love the modern setting. The characters are sweet and easily relatable too. I like the simplicity of them, no unnecessary angst or complexity. Language is direct and lucid, always gets to the point. Vocabulary is consistent. BTW, was it ever explained what happened during the attack. I am curious to know. My only feedback would be to add some look descriptions of the characters when you are introducing them, without making it forced. I loved reading how Mr. Cooper looked. I hope you can do for more of the others too, lol. It is always fun to visualize characters. I also do not see any big bad introduced yet (I apologize if I am missing something). My other feedback would be to sort of tease the big bad earlier in the chapters or the bigger conflict in earlier chapters, so that the readers can have a stronger motivation to root for Kayden, a prologue may be? Thanks! I truly hope more people read this.
The author is clearly great wth words. You will know from the get go. I can just sit there and read an essay from them, and I would not mind. This story is cheeky. Their is an undercurrent of sass and sarcasm flowing. Styling of the story is brilliant. Every moment feels like you ARE in an intergalactic universe. The writing style is very mature, vocabulary consistent, although I worry that the sophisticated nature prose may be somewhat esoteric to a casual reader or those who do not culture advanced english literature.
As for the drawbacks, these are more on the general nature of the genre and not specific to this story:
1. Episodic nature: Since the chapters are episodic, it might impede the arc of the protagonists. I am reviewing at Chapter 5, mind you. So, I am sure there is still a lot to come. And I look forward to how Ali and Lee grow with their adventures.
2. The Non-sass side of characters: We do not see a lot of this. I felt throughout the reading, that somehow Ali and Lee are afraid to open up to their readers. There is one action set-piece after another, but it is as if these two are only running from themselves. I am sure at some point they will have to fact whatever insecurities they have and I look forward to that moment.
Now, go and enjoy this delicious nutrigel of a story, will ya?
This review is strictly till upto chapter 2.2.
1. Writing..writing...writing: I must say the author has a knack for articulating really really well. They find the words that are always apt for what they are trying to convey; zero grammatical errors; vocabulary excellent and congrous, no unnecessarily complex or flowery words or sentences. Some of the descriptions in there are succint yet just enoug detailed
2. Distinct Characterization: The characters are very distinct from each other; their mannerisms and way of speaking is unique which is great
3. World building- It has promising elements of a unique world-building. It has fantasy elements, sci-fi, and there is little bit of social commentary as well.
1. Intro to characters: I feel I do not have enough context for the characters, before things happen to them. This may be biased though as we all have our own preferred styles.
2. Pacing: There were some pacing issues, and I feel this can be improved. But since the stories are only days old and can still be fleshed out, I would give the author some time to do that.
Overall, definitely a great potential and will wait to see where this story takes its characters.