The fantasy and mythos behind this fiction extremely powerful. It shows the author's great imagination. They even cultured a unique vocabulary for their magic.
Style: Very high-level. Vocabulary is congruent to the setting of the story. It immediately pulls you in and makes the experience completely immersive.
Story: First the world building is out of this world, I must say. What a great treat for fantasy lovers. The story is classic is and on the path of very well done. The main conflict starts right away. You already know who the good and bad guys are from chapter 1. You know who to root for. Having a clear direction is one of this fiction's assets
Character: Great characterization. Kirra is a quiet, nice sort of girl, living her life and caring for her dad. Her actions are very congruent to that of a 12 year old and she has a likeable quality to her. You are introduced to some secondary antagonists in early chapters which are also very well done.
Overall a great read so far. A very stylish, carefully built fantasy which is a must read. I will continue following it and it will remain in my favorite list. Please continue writing, dear author!
I have never played DnD and I was entirely unfamiliar with the world coming into the story. But it did not cause me even one bit of hiccup. It was a very beautifully and passionately written story, that made every sentence worth reading.
Style: EXCELLENT. The author chose a vernacular and stuck to it, never letting go. Very stylish and congruent to the world they are creating. Not one word out of place and that enhances the immersive nature of the story. Their style is so original that they even created figures of speech within the universe which is a genius move. The only place where I faced little difficulty with the lucidity of the language was the very beginning, but the author has addressed those issues based on the comments.
Story: A very interesting beginning. Still a lot to unfold since journey of the two MCs is just starting, but the threads of a promising tale are already there.
Grammar: Flawless and impeccable. I have nothing to say here.
Character: This is the best part of the story. Excellent characterization. I especially like Lilla. She is brave but she is also smart. She knows her priorities and makes decisions like a real person, instead of predictable power fantasizing heroes. The same could also be said of Mav and other characters that we meet. They all feel real to me and leave an impression. Very nuanced portrayal.
Overall an excellent enjoyable ride. I will keep following the story and see how it turns out for our two protagonists. Thank you so much, author. :D
I am keeping this review basic as there are only five chapters and the author is planning to do a major edit soon. The premise is truely awesome. Virtual Reality, and being stuck in it. I myself am not much of a gamer but I have played some Oblivion and Skyrim. So, I can see the great potential of this story. Currently author is only at Chapter five, so it is too early to comment on overarching story and characters. But the promise is there. Also, the writing has a steep improvement from Chapter one to later chapters. Grammar is pretty good and any errors have already been pointed out in the comments. I plant to revisit the story in the future and check on how it has fleshed out. Thank you, author. :D
I must admit that this review is only for first chapter, which is why I am not doing an advanced review. In the future, I look forward to reading more of the chapters and update my review accordingly.
But as a start it is great and promising. You can feel the MC's personality right away. You know right away his priorities and conflicts. There are some great examples of show vs tell and I have shared it in the comment. The grammar is impeccable and so is the writing. Only a few complex words here and there; otherwise clear and lucid. Style is gritty and consistent throughout the chapter. Overarching story is yet to start since it is just the first chapter and I am not in much of a position to comment on it. But, looks like the author does have a direction in mind.
Overall, great job!! Thank you, author! :D
Overall, a great enjoyable read. I know very little of Roman history adn I have never played DnD, although I HAVE played lots and lots of Oblivion and Skyrim. And this story was a wonderful treat in immersion. Ah impeccable joyful world building. I can feel the joy of being in the middle earth surrounded by 'freaks' as the author calls it, and dragons, and ruins and what not. It was a living breathing world to me.
Style: Exquisite. The vocabulary is never erratic. Flows smoothly, although sometimes the words and sentences get complex due to the styling of the story and that takes away from the clarity and lucidity of the writing. But little. For the most part it is quite clear and enjoyable. There are even places where it reminded me of the Hobbit and the Shire. XD I must mention here that the dialogues are easily one of the best features of the story and infused with humor. On the flip side, the author does tend to indulge with internal monologuing a little on the heavier side. XD
Story: I have read till Chapter 12. I think the problem with story telling with the isekai DnD genre is that since it is very quest heavy, the overarching storyline almost always goes in the backburner. I am pretty sure in the future a clearer storyline will emerge and tie all the threads together.
Grammar: Perfect. The only nitpick will be I saw in some early chapters a little back and forth between tenses, but it didn't take away from the narrative.
Character: Just like story, the character arcs also take the backburner with structures like this. So, far my favorite is Beldrak. Till Chapter 12, the MC has some character growth, but there were some irregularities in his attitudes to others that I have pointed out to the author in the comments. The others not so much growth but they are all quite interesting in their own ways. But I do hope the characters have more meaningful interactions, outside of quest related dialogues, and they open up to each other either in a positive or negative way.
Overall, you are going to have a spectacular time if you like adventures and fun! Thank you so much, author! I hope to keep reading and follow the exploits of Publius. :D
I will just go out on a limb and say that this is the BEST Xianxia on Royal Road. And I hope other Xianxia authors do not take this as a slight against their work. But, it is more for how great this story is shaping to be. E.g. I didn't read all the fantasy novels to know GoT is the best fantasy novel. Likewise, it is not that other Xianxia stories are bad, it is just that this story is THAT good.
Style: CLASSIC Xianxia done to perfection. Every word in there is measured. Even the phrases that seem awkward are classic xianxia figure of speech. And you will feel the joy that you feel when you read a great Xianxia novel. Not one word is out of place or overused. Vocabulary is perfection itself. No overuse of flowery words. No bloated prose. Only pure joy. Also, there is an undercurrent of humor that the author has naturally infused in his writing. Descriptions are not forced, but only come when necessary. Also, if someone says why are there not rows and rows of descriptions of the surroundings like other classic fantasies, I say to them, what do you want from your story? Useless descriptive vocabulary that will bore you to sleep or fun and joy?
Character: BEST PART. Starting from MC to every sinble little character, even the guest appearances, are so well fleshed-out. Characters are simple but strong. Simple as in easily relatable, strong as in nuanced but clear, not confusing. Also, there is perfect show, don't tell with the characters, where the author shows me how they are just by their actions, and leaves it to me to make up my own mind. I love it when the author trusts the readers instead of patronizing.
Story: Just starting but already a clear direction, and every moment is to be savored. Already hooked so much, I cannot wait for more. I check my notifications every day to see if there has been an update.
Grammar: Great for a xianxia story
Overall, I think I have found my new nightly read story. Thank you soooo much, Author for your hard work. :D
Please know that I have only read upto Chapter 4 of this story. This review is only for the first four chapters.
This is a professionally written story. The storyline is simple and clear, no cofusion. The writing is really good, especially the way Ignatius speaks, OMG, a genius portrayal of that character. Very impactful. The romance is beautiful, tender, and s*xy, like a breath of fresh air, thank god. The writing style is magnificent obviously, consistent throughout. Only one or two incogruous words that I have pointed out in the comments. Vocabulary is consistent and words are concise for the most part. Character are clearly distinguished, cut in glass. Very clear and transparently portrayed. The details of the atmosphere and action sequence are on point, so well-portrayed, cannot say enough.
Now, let us talk about a few things that I felt could be improved. And this is considering the writer is already an advanced level writer because from what the story reads like, they are. The wordings in some places seemed a little too complex for me, that hampered my reading pace and slowed down the progression of the story. For a casual reader, that might be a hindrance. The main character seemed a little simplistic to me. E.g. his dialogues were a bit bland, his motivations were too simplistic. Nothing wrong with a simple character as your MC, but I hope the character does have some existential thoughts at some point in the story. Since I am only reviewing this at chapter 4, I would not let this take anything away from the story or my review since I know it is wayyyy too early to comment anything on the nuances of a character. Same goes for the overarching storyline. Simplistic but there is a lot of room to grow still, I am sure. Great job, Nick! Truly amazing.
P.s. I want to give you 6 stars just for Ignatius.
The best thing for me in this story is it fantasy elements. You imagine a fantasy element and it is in there and very very well-described and incorporated. Not just thrown in for the plot's sake.
Second, the author's writing is very consistent and detailed in descriptions. The vocabulary is consistent and congruous for the most part. Language does tend to get a little windy and wordy at times, but that does not take away from the clarity of the story. It is indeed very stylish. I really liked the urban fantasy world building, very well meshed together, without sounding jarring.
Story does have pacing issues. May be it is because of the nature of web-novel format. There are action sequences one after the other, without any rest time in between for matters to settle in. But, I think the story starts to find its pacing by Chapter 20. I am reviewing at Chapter 23, and I still a little unclear if there will be a main protagonist or any main conflict in this story or not. So far, it is mostly exploration of this amazing fantasy world.
My other problem with the story is the characterization. Their actions sometimes seem incongruous with their motivations or their motivations are not clear. I think, again, this may have something to do with the web novel format. I feel this can be easily resolved with good editing.
Again, thank you to Dark Volatis for such a great world building. I look forward to the story as it unfolds.
I love the natural writing skills of this author. She has a flair for writing. It is not a careful trained kind, but an instinctive flowing kind. Vocabulary impeccable, and congruous to the setting. Usage of words is efficient and accurate, not unnecessary embellishment or flowery language. Grammar is flawless. Descriptions are a little lacking but for a first draft this is pretty good. I am sure they can be easier to focus on after the first draft is laid down. Characterisation is great for Daniel but I feel Vic and God need to be fleshed out more, which I am sure will come with time. This review is still early in the story. The gaming world itself is quite interesting.
I also liked that the author began with a general psychosocial observation to immediately connect to the readers and then related it back to the main character. I hope the author keeps doing it throughout the story. Since she is a natural story teller, it flows well with the story and is refreshing.
I do hope the author tries to show some of the exposition more actively than passively. I have suggested some specific examples in the chapters, so I would not repeat it here. Otherwise the details of the gaming world are pretty interesting.
I feel this review is too early in the story and I will come back and update after the story has advanced more. But, the styling is great. A clear beginning. They are poised to face the uprising. Vocabulary is clean and consistent, language lucid and not overly flowerly or verbose which sometimes tends to happen with fictions. I wonder if we will have a POV character among the insurgents. We will see in the future. Characters are clear portrayed, but their arcs hasn't really started yet, again too early in the story. I would love to see how they go and how these events transform them. I already love how both Igalia and Sig are shaping up. Regarding descriptions, they are always clear and on point. The actions are described succintly and with just enough words. I already feel attached to the characters, just through their little thoughts, actions and characterizations. They have the kernels to become great characters later on. I do admit there are some names in the prose that made me stumble for a few seconds. But, no worries. I think readers will be used to it. Also, may suggest that there are some words that I do not know what they are. May be add author's notes at the end to clarify. E.g. I didn't know what a Kumpit. First I thought it was a tree. XD And I then looked and found that it is "ships of the Sama-Bajau people in the Philippines, Malaysia, and Indonesia which are also used as houseboats."