Hi_Im_Ren

Hi_Im_Ren

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Fictions
Reviews
Trickster’s Song [A LitRPG Portal Fantasy]

As I read more and more fictions in my review journey, I've learned one thing: the opening paragraph is really important. This one in particular is really dang good and I can tell right from the start that this'll be an interesting read.

After reading: okay that is some very colorful language my friend. I'm at a bit of a loss for words, WTF was that. I demand to know why there isn't a comedy tag, this had me bursting out laughing wayy to often. Dang

Okay now that I have complimented your insane and beautiful jokes, I need to be that person.

Needs. Blue. Tables.

Normally doesn't bother me much but this one got to me since the status messages were barely differenciated from the rest of the text.


Path of the Invincible Dragon

About the title, that onomatopoeia showed up in chapter 1 and had me laughing hysterically. Alright, into the actual review. I'll start with the positives, the grammar is really quite good for the most part no complaints there. The world building is definitely present and you can tell the author put a lot of thought behind it. The problem is that this novel takes telling instead of showing to an extreme degree, this was probably the thing that damaged my enjoyment the most. Chapter 4 just about read like a wiki page, and when you have such thick world building the presentation needs to hold up to the same quality.  That's my one major complaint other than some rather minor style issues. Inner monologue should be in italics and  there is some "misuse" of quotes. Overall readability is good. The pacing is a bit wonky since this story doesn't seem well suited for short chapters. Overall it's alright, I'm sure the author can improve these issues with an editing pass.

Wish you the best

Ciao


Thick as Thieves

Dagnabit, I wrote out the review and then accidentally clicked off to reference a chapter, and now my review is gone. Oh well, I guess I'll rewrite it.

This story is well written; it has a sort of rhythmic flow to it that draws you in. It excels at giving vivid details without ever feeling too weighty. The protagonist has a powerful voice, and you can feel her worldview in everything that she does. I liked the swan story a lot; I always love when novels respectfully reference LGBT characters. The other characters in the story are believable and dialogue is good. The story is solid, really solid, but I think that from what I've read and the synopsis, it doesn't seem like it's about to do anything groundbreaking for a while. Not that every novel needs to break new ground but this one just didn't do it for me.

Personally, I'm not going to continue reading this. It's just that the premise doesn't get me going. If this type of story is for you, then this is an exceptionally well-written piece that will do nicely and I highly recommend reading it. :D


The Dream Knight (LITRPG Portal Fantasy)

Why's everyone always strangling their tools?

Not a review swap

Ignore the title, it's a reference to the author's previous work not really relevant for this one. This is a very comfortable read, at first glance there's nothing too out of place from the genre. However, it does very nicely to quickly get us in the thick of the tension. No long-winded explanations or exposition dumps. We're immediately presented with a situation that you can easily the victory conditions and the following chapters are all about trying to escape that situation. Tension is palpable throughout. Characters are pretty solid despite having no slow character time yet only plot time. I ended up reading more than I was planning too so it succeeds there. Overall it's just a really solid Isekai I approve. Reminded me a lot of cautious hero with the alternate time-slowed world used to level up, which happens to be a personal favorite of mine. 

If I had to give one suggestion: there was a section that said "the fact that" and as a follower of Strunk I am deeply offended. I'm just kidding of course but "the fact that" is a pretty empty phrase. XD


Blood Demon's Retirement

What a fun first couple of chapters! I gotta say, it was a really pleasant ride. I should've expected it from a fiction with retirement in the title. Still it was really good. English is your third language? Why does it seem better than mine?! There was only one error that I spotted and it was clearly just a typo.

Why am I docking half a star? The prologue didn't do it for me, too many exposition dumps that really made my eyes glaze over. I was worried the rest of it would be like that too, but the following chapters had really good gradual world building. So nice save!

Now I'm going to listen to come sail away by Styx.


The Unstoppable Ascension of Zu Mari, Time-Looper

Is this a good story? No. It's a great story. If I were to describe this story it would be: Take all of the tropey nonsense from the xianxia genre and then crank it up past 11 to the point where the dial breaks. This story is a freaking rollercoaster of emotions (primarily laughter) and it is absolutely fantastic. The first paragraph made me laugh out loud, then the MC ate a random pill and I was rolling on the floor. Look, just read this if you need a good time.


Heartthrob

Oh gosh, I really shouldn't rave like this but dang! I absolutely loved my time with this, every second of it. I can't give this less than 5 stars, I simply can't! I want to give it 6 stars but that isn't possible so I'll settle for this.

This fiction has one of the coolest concepts I've ever seen, Cyberpunk+Undead and it wasn't even halfway through the first chapter that I was completely sold on this world (I went to bed thinking of how economics would apply to this world, that's how deep I went into the rabbit hole) In only the four chapters I read, I fell for the characters so hard with their hidden complexities oozing out. The imagery is amazing too, I feel like I could see everything. I just really loved this fiction, Heartthrob Fridays are going to be a thing for me now.

I do feel like there are things that could be improved, however, even with the few things that occasionally threw me off it's still my personal favorite on RR (at this time)

Go read this now, it's too good to pass up.


Tales of an Unlikely Wizard (Isekai LitRPG)🌟

I'll start with the highs of what I read. The slower psychological start really does feel quite nice. I also like the smatterings of worldbuilding throughout, I expect that the world would become very interesting further in and I'm sure it will work quite nicely. The main character does have a really strong voice and he seems to live in his head a lot. Despite being in the third person, it really feels like I'm reading in the first person, it's actually a pretty interesting feeling.

Now for my issues with what I read. The writing is pretty difficult to read, it takes a lot of effort to follow what's going on. There's a lot of missing words and stilted phrases that really threw me off. It wouldn't bother me if those errors occurred during simpler parts, but this story is told with a little too much information and it wholesale prevented me from getting immersed. There's also a weird jump that I encountered between chapters 3 and 4 and then the MC has things and knowledge that's not explained.

Overall my impression is best summed up by "it feels inconsistent" some parts are great other parts need some editing. I'm confident that with a little bit of revisiting the first chapters for readability this could be something great.


Griffon's Fury!

I'm not particularly familiar with the cultivation genre, but I can tell that this story utilizes its elements. From what I've read, they usually feature a long story where the protagonist slowly gains immense power; I can feel the beginning of that in this book. Overall, if the author intends to have Griffon's Fury run for a long time, it has tremendous potential. You don't want to burn too fast for a long-running series, and the childhood arc would feel great in the long run.

Story: So far, it's about a genius kid growing up and growing stronger. It starts very slice of life, which I don't think is terrible, but it does make it hard to judge the story. For now, I'll leave it at four stars because, in a slice of life, the characters are the story.

Grammar: I'm giving this 4.5 stars because nothing stood out to me as wrong; at the very least, it's not distracting to the reader. As with all things, I think it can be improved even more with editing.

Style: I think the style is, for the most part, solid, but I think some areas can be improved. For one, line breaks aren't used and instead replaced with three lines of periods. I think the paragraph size can also be adjusted a bit as others have mentioned they're often short. Another issue is dialogue being broken up at weird places; others have mentioned this as well, so I won't cover this too much.

Characters: I think the characters have a good start, and there's a lot of room for them to grow in the future, so we'll see how they develop. I do wish they had a bit more spice; one thing that threw me off was in c2

"He is still a small child. I won't let him learn martial arts or magic," said Tiona with an iron in her voice.
Then in chapter three, we are struck with
"Remember son, strong rule this world. You either fight or eventually replace this deer when someone stronger comes to you,"
It gave some dissonance with her character, which of course, can be good in some cases, but I'm not sure this is one of them.

That being said, I think it could get five stars with some editing and careful thinking about what the characters should convey. It's really close just needs a little bit more details.


Apprentice's Ascension

You should give this a read!

There's an entire book of content here, and it's all relatively high quality, especially if you're a fan of more traditional bookstore-type material. The characterization is powerful!

The main reason I liked this fiction is that the characters have a certain degree of oomph to them. They also aren't all likable, but I think that's okay; simply having a character that is characterized enough to have that opinion demonstrates the quality of the character's writing. I'd rather have a protagonist that I dislike than a protagonist I feel nothing towards.

Style is good; as other reviews have mentioned, it doesn't feel 'web novel.'  It would be best if you wrote the way you like best; I'm not detracting points because of that, but rather that some paragraphs don't flow well, and some sentences have strange structures that take me out of immersion. With some editing, you can fix this easily; there's enough here that it really won't be a lot of work to enhance this.

Grammar is solid. For the most part, you won't notice it. I think the writing could be improved with some more punctuation marks that aren't periods. More colons, semicolons, and em dashes!

Finally, the story, it's a little difficult for me to tell. It has potential, seeming to be a rags-to-riches type story, but I think it will depend on how it evolves over time.