xadu

xadu

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Vigor Mortis

(Edited) Good; story is developing.

Solid story with strong characters, world building elements and decently good grammar and style.

Tense errors reigned supreme for the first 20ish chapters and it made it really difficult to enjoy the reading experience. There are still errors regarding grammar and style, but both aspects have improved and show no signs of stopping their upward trend.

Overalll this story still shows great potential with it's characters and world building, though both have fallen a bit in terms of continuity. Things have also felt slightly forced for a few chapters now and it seems the trend will continue.

Overall I'd still recommend this story.

 

 


Beneath the Dragoneye Moons

Sooo.

Overall, it's decent. There are many many great parts to the whole aswell as a few flaws. It honestly hurts to score this story as low as it is but it comes down to the main character being intentionally flawed. Which is usually fine. Proper character growth is a good base for a story. But Elaine is just far far too immature and naive for where she is currently. She's effectively lived twice as long as her age suggests with her reincarnation. 

She's a Sentinel of humanity. If she cannot even pay proper attention to meetings and perform the most basic of diplomatic missions, she's not ready for the mantle. The rest of the Sentinels certainly don't have as glaring of a flaw. It's fair to hate the diplomacy, but the fact of the matter is that someone as immature and naive as Elaine is not ready to be a Sentinel. In 5 or 10 years? Absolutely, if she learns and grows. 
Personal thoughts: Author rushed Elaine into the Sentinel position to further the story as more ranger missions could become boring fairly quickly. But their character isn't ready for it. 

The style is good, not really perfect but no glaring issues.

The grammar and story are, in my opinion, the best parts. The author clearly knows what they want and has no issues bringing their ideas to text.

Final thoughts. Read it. It really isn't a bad story and I think most everyone will like it.

All of the sexism towards women and the inequality that exists purely to be quoted when convenient is weird... It just feels like something the author added to give Elaine another problem to solve somewhere in the future when she's the most powerful being in existence or whatever. And I don't feel the story is far enough along for the full extent to be visible.

Another thing I didn't comment on was her classes and oath since that's a whole other hornets' nest. But the system is good overall.

 


Emmy And Me

Quite simply an amazing story that more people should be reading. 

The author does a great job with characterisation and world building.

The story has the kind of charm that draws you in.

The only issue is that there's a teeny tiny amount of grammar errors and problems with sentence structure, this doesn't impact the story though and doesn't merit a decrease in review score. This story is writen as a part of the Royal Road Writathon Challenge, only having the minimal issues it has compared to the rate the chapters need to be produced at is amazing.

Edit: Caught up in chapters now, worth every second I spent reading and I wish there was more!


Defiance of the Fall

It’s good, just lacking a little

Reviewed at chapter 508.


Great story, the author is good at world building and there is never a point in the story that is boring or where it feels the author is lost on how to move the plot forwards.

A note on the story: there's a lot of buildup to each "climax" in the story. The buildup is interesting and obviously important, yet the climax of various parts in the story feels a bit anticlimactic. All the tens of chapters buildup to end in a short fight. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's simply credit to the main characters effort during the buildup.

The style of the story is simply great. No actual issues except for annoying words like gains and clout and the rare jumble of a sentence.

The characters are solid and grow with their environment. They make some strange and out of place choices here and there but nothing severe. 

The grammar. This is by far the largest problem in this entire story. 500 chapters in and the author is still making the same mistakes as the first 10 chapters. I understand that English might not be his first language. But even so. It feels like there's basically zero proofreading done by anyone. If the author is pressed for time it should be well with in his capabilities to ask or hire someone to proofread and edit for him. Words and even whole sections of sentences missing really hurts the story and the flow of the reading. The mistakes are elementary and can be easily fixed to push this story to at least a 4.5 star. 
These continuous grammatical errors also creates the feeling that the author doesn't care in the slightest about the story he is producing.