darkocean (J. L. Salmonson)

*Full review is pending*

So far I like this, I had read too much popcorn fictions lately (not on here mind you!) so it was hard to get into this richer prose style at first. (Hey, I like a candy book now and then, ha!)

Thor is a thoughfull character for one so young. Give this book a chance the dear writer has set up an immersive world filed with mysteries, (so far subtle magics) and has a few surprises up their sleeves. Hisssty is awaking, can you seee it?

The prose has a lovely fluidity about it that wraps it's imagery around your inner mind that kicks off with a delightful bounce now and then, grabbing your attention. 

What I really want to comment on, I can't as I don't want to give away anything. I believe this is done in a more omini pov (Opov) style, and nicely so in that H. Haven doesn't head hop, so it's a smooth read.

It's not fair to write a review in my opinion until you've at least tried to get to 10 + chapters, so I'll be back later.

I need more words so...

Hissstory is in the title so must have much to do with the story and plot, another good reason to keep reading to find out what will happen. I like title namer chapters, they're satisfying. If we're given one that'd be nice.

Word nearly fail to describe the quality of this, it's just wonderful.

Okay okay I'm a little biased because on Kindle I tried out a new to me author and the writing is so bad I want to cry.

So reading this today made me so happy instead of the vage annoyed feeling the other book was giving me.

The characterization is on point. I need to read more of this to be able to give a full review. But, you can tell right away the quality and talent that sets the page on fire. Read this, read this now! This is not a beginners fumblings; but at least from the first chapter you can tell.

My only nit pick is the "he felt" in the work it could use more showing and truly shine. Honestly I don't care as it feels like what I grew up reading, oh a good horror story! JOY!

Has potential, I kind of liked the prologue it was nice. (I usually don't like proligs much as they never seem to end.)

Consider making a cover or having one made for you You can also ask people to make one in the forms. I make covers too, if you can't find anything you like send a pm or something. (Mine are free.)

Readers will take the story more seriously when you have one, along with lots of chapters. So, keep posting chapers and don't quit! :)

larare's unique take on sci-fi draws you in as the mystery of what's happening to Nona unfolds. She gets a mysterious message that by my guess pushes the plot in motion to some sort of shocking reveal or danger, time flips back and forth for her causing her great stress and cracking her assurity of whether her own reality is true.

Plot:

I like how we're given a hint as to when time changes by how the writer clues us in using the characters sense of taste. She has a knack for drawing you into the story wanting the hanging questions to be answered.

There's definitely a mystery woven into the story, that always is fun trying to figure out what's going to happen before the main pov does. :)

Character:

I found Nona and her cat's humorous banter enjoyable. 😂 From what I can tell her cat keeps her grounded and supports her emotionally, helping her get through the stressful events that happen.

At this time there hadn't been enough backstory information as it's too early in the book, this is a good thing as then it can be given in small amounts.

There doesn't seem to be a physical villain or foil yet.

One of her friends is a very special cat Schrödinger, I won't say anymore. I love cats in sci-fi one of my favorite books is The Cat Who Walks Through Walls by Robert A. Heinlein. larare's story is similar to this in that both cats in the story are intelligent; along with some force creating what looks like time manipulation (Tho' Nona can't do so, and has to deal with what happens.)

World-building:

larare really does a good job of making me feel sorry for what the POV Nona has to go through when dealing with cranky and prideful customers calling IT service desk.

Story:

The example of her cat makes it clear that there's many time lines going on all at once and each one had its own reality. Somewhat similar to the old Sci-Fi series called Sliders. This hints at the possibility of some very twisted things that happen!

Style:

There's really well done mini graphic novel bites in the chapters, they're really well done and add a nice touch.

I feel like there needs to be more of a sense of place where she is.

Pacing:

It moves along fine, I wouldn't mind a few action beats to help me know who is who.

Other:

This has a nice title that ties into the story/plot so that's a plus. :D

Am on chapter three and will come back to complete this review.

Okay, after reading this book some more and a few others like it I'm seeing some of the things people are complaining about. Chapter one was fine with very few errors but the second chapter had misplaced punctuation, info dumps, and I kept wondering when the heck he'd have another party member to talk with. Characters need to have some dialogue with other characters besides themselfs in a story. (The bat isn't enough imop.) A character can't grow without interaction.

Still, overall I like this story and think people are being too harsh with it. A few edits and a couple of rewrites and I bet we'll see a change as the writer grows. I'd say come back in a few weeks and give the writer a chance to learn more. As is it's good if you ignore that it's like some of the other game-like stories on here. (I'm still new to this genre so please don't fault me.)

I like the main protagonist as he seems to have the intelligence to fight back against the master but is confused and trapped due to circumstances out of his control. I worry that the writer will get stuck later on if they try to force the protog. into doing things against his  character just to fit the plot, so keep an eye out for that.

From what I read in the story I get the feeling that the MC will try and fight back against this at some point.

(Edited this review it's been a few months time to read it anew!)

This is really well written with each character so far being lively and distinct from the other. The action and forward motion if the pacing so far are on point. And, zombies, what's not to like? 

I wanted to leave a quick review comment for now and will come back later to do a more detailed one after I've read a few chapters.

Character:

I really like Myrsha's character development in that her experiences are making her into a better person while not undoing the trauma she sent through helping her to find her true self again.

That being said I have my suspicions about what might be causing some of her darker cold thoughts to crop up. *Zips lips*

Style:

The world-building is very nice I really like the crystals and what uses they have. The characters are lively and each one has body beats/action beats/ticks that they do to separate them from the others, along with different wordage and light accents that help readers to identify them. That's really nice as some stories on here often forget to do so. 

Story:

This story can get very dark, but so far not too dark as in M.D.Syl kindly leaves out anything that would trigger people. ^-^ So far this is has mysterious tone to it. Much to do with the main character Marsha, we're drip-fed bits and pieces (as they should be) about just what she even is. It's a delight full not to get an info dump for once. The Saphire tower is also a mystery as to where it came from who started it and such. 

I'm really curious as to how all this will tie together and where it'll lead. I vote for Supreme Mage Godess Myrsha! (If it ends on that kind of note, it's dark so might not.)

Grammar:

My only complaint is the purple text is a tad hard to see on RR dark, a shade lighter would be nice.

There are a few typos and awkward wordings, but considering that this isn't the writer's native language they're doing an amazing job!

Note to M.D.Syl : If you really wanted RR to use your font you have two options - you'd have to go to a bit of work, by making screenshots of the chapters using the font you use and making it so each chapter is an uploaded image. But then it would be a pain to edit it. Something to think about anyway. Or you could send in a request to RR and ask for the font you wish to have added to the font list and hope they add it in at some point.

Thank you for the story, never give up I bet you have many more waiting to be written!

(I don't write reviews too often and it's usually random.)

This was my first litRPG ever and just have to say that I'm lucky I landed on this one! Broccoli Bunch is an adorable teen whose heart is pure as the fallen snow... (if you get this reference you get a cookie.)
 
She's given a quest that seems innocent enough at first but turns out to be let's say less than good as the story progresses add adds to lots of problems for her to overcome.

Along the way, she meets some very colorful characters and one that's a little too cute sometimes. :P Oh ho this book holds a surprise yet the main pov is quite clewless in an endearing way just to drive use readers bonkers and turn the page. (ha-ha)

A fun world, great characters, mostly good grammar, and lots of action. I recommend reading this.

Now for the not-so-great...

the ending wasn't an ending it was a cliffhanger the plotline doesn't finish and almost none of the plot threads are tied up, now mind you a writer doesn't have to tie them all up. But In my opinion, it smacks of a lack of self-confidence to be able to do so OR to try to entice readers onto the second book that's only on Amazon.

Me not happy. so, the ending gets 2 stars from me.

Royal road is an amazing opportunity for writers making it possible to break the chains free from the Zon and publishers, I urge you not to throw this freedom away. Things are changing and readers are deciding now like they should have from the start.