Senator

Senator

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Bastion Academy Series

The novel starts off in an interesting way: with a magical, illegal robot fight and gambling. It's styled after korean cultivation stories; and while there were a few terms I wasn't familiar with, the author did a decent job of explaining most of them.

Style:  So, the style used for this one is quite plain. That's not necessarily a bad thing--and it'd be a little unfair of me to expect gorgeous prose from a web novel--but it was to the point that I began to be able to predicate what sentence structure would be used next. The narrator describes a ton of the world around him, but I rarely had any insight into how he personally felt about it. I have a hard time understanding why the author opted to use first person instead of third, since the benefits of having a first person narrative are rarely utilized. Other than that, I haven't had much to complain about. It's quite clean, and serves the story decently well.

Grammar: There are a few mistakes here and there, but it's pretty solid overall. I didn't really find any glaring issues.

Story:  It reads like your average bildungsroman magical academy story. If that's what you're looking for, you will probably love it. My main complaint with it so far ties into the lack of personal insight from the main character. At the end of chapter ten, the protagonist is asked why he wants to attend Bastion, and even I, the reader, had a hard time believing his motivations. I just hadn't been given enough information yet to understand and believe his wants and desires. There are hints at a grand storyline, and relics of an ancient civilization left around the world are definitely interesting; but the pacing so far hasn't left any room to explore that yet.

Characters: They're pretty solid for the most part. They're all interesting so far, and have unique personalities. The dialogue could use some work though, since it seems a bit stilted and awkward at times.

Overall: It's a nice novel so far. I think that the author could do with spending less time describing the magical system (since that has been the bulk of the ~17000 words I've read so far) since I personally didn't care too much about it beyond understanding the fundamentals. But if you're the kind of person who loves knowing exactly how and why everything works, this probably won't bother you at all.


Retribution Engine [DEPRECATED - SEE SYNOPSIS]

So, as with all of my reviews for litrpgs, I'll preface this by saying I do not like the genre. As such, I may be a little more leniant in an effort to not be biased. I will commend the author for not making too much use of blue boxes, which I personally find ridiculous. They're there, but at a frequency that didn't bother me.

Style:  The author has some nice descriptions, and the writing, for the most part, is technically fine. My only big issue with it comes down to chapter size. I get writing short chapters so that you can release more frequently and maximise your exposure, but I feel like more care can be put into it to make it less jarring. On average, the chapters are 500 words long. This seemed alright, at first, but the more I read the more I understood the problems that come with having chapters at that length. That is, that chapters end at random points--when the author has hit the word count. It's cut off at 500 words. This creates many chapters that end in the middle of paragraphs. You may say "well, that just makes the reader want to turn the page to the next chapter!" But no, I don't turn to the next chapter because there's tension and I want to see what happens next; I turn to the next chapter because I'm quite literally left in the middle of a thought. I feel like the author can keep short chapters, but format them in a way that isn't irritating to read.

Grammar:  I noticed some typing issues, mispellings and a few questionable word choices, but for the most part it's solid in this regard. I didn't feel like it would be fair to take points off in this category since issues are few and far between. The author has a decent grasp of the language, so he has my commendation for that.

Story:   So, my second main issue with this one is the story. And, to be more specific: the pacing. It is glacially slow so far. I have no idea what the overarching narrative is. The scenes in the novel so far are fine and vivid, and on a smaller level the story is pretty good; but again, I have no idea where this is going. 

Characters: They're pretty good so far. I know who everyone is, and roughly what their character traits are. I wish I knew more about them, since they're all a bit vague at the point I'm writing this review, but I'm sure their personalities are explored more as the story goes on. 

Overall, it's pretty decent. The writing is solid on a technical level. I definitely think there are issues with pacing and chapter length, but maybe there are readers out there who like a ton of short chapters and long narratives. I definitely don't read enough on this site to know what the average reader enjoys


BurgerPunk: Pizza Time

Sniffer of pizza, premature burgerflipper, seeker of the fast food chain in the bosom of the city, you, who sleep at the grill and fast for our feast, you with your degenerate taste, have greasily foretold, a flipper in your own absence, by blind poring upon your burger your many condiments and fat and grease, impetiginous sore and pustules, by the auspices of that pizza pie, your grill, and by the auguries of managers in the back, grease with every main course, the dynamatisation of sushi, the reducing of gourmet to fast food, the levelling of all good taste, the return of a lot of greasetempered patrons to grease unto cheese, but it never struck your burgerflipper obtundity that the more potatoes you fry, the more burgers you flip, the more sodas you top off, the more cheese you melt, the more pickles you add, the more deliveries you make, the fiercer the fire and the longer your greasyspoon and the harder you gruel with more grease to your elbow the merrier fumes your new burger menu.


My Pick Up Artist System

The author accomplished what he set out to do

With this story, you're not going to get anything groundbreaking or particularly unique. You will, however, get a bite-sized comedy that you can enjoy during breaks. 

The story is very reminiscent of things like The World God Only Knows. The MC, who is in every regard a hopeless incel, is forced to learn how to pickup girls to save his life. Hilarity ensues when he's forced into an aspect of life he knows nothing about. Nothing about it is original, but it's charming and enjoyable in its own way.

The characters are my major gripe with the novel. Most of them don't read like real people, or have believable dialogue. They serve the plot well enough to move the story forward, but don't offer much else.

The grammar is surprisingly good for this type of novel. Usually webnovels I read that deal with comedy and certain anime tropes take a hit when it comes to quality, but I didn't notice many mistakes, so kudos to the author. I have nothing to complain about in this regard.

Overall, the novel accomplishes its goal of providing a fun story dealing with PUA and related shenanagins. You're going to get exactly what you expected when you decided to read this, and for that the author does deserve some praise.

 


The Merchant Prince

The author has done a good job of crafting a webnovel that reads like a traditionally published novel. 

Instead of dumping info to tell you about the world, the author has woven relevant info into the narrative so that you learn about the world he has built in a more natural way. Because of this, the first couple chapters are admittedly very slow, but it was definitely necessary to have a lot of exposition so that the story makes sense.

Speaking of the story, it's quite good. I found myself wanting to read more, and I definitely will read more past the point of this review. The characters all have very clear personalities and desires. I actually want to learn more about them, and I look forward to doing so.

The style the author writes in is pretty decent. He strikes a good balance between giving you a lot of description and only giving descriptions that are relevant to the story. I never found myself overwhelmed and bogged down in pointless and redundant descriptions, which is something that happens to me quite often while reading novels on this site.

The grammar is, for the most part, fine. There aren't any errors that leap out at you, but there are run-on sentences and comma splices every now and then that may distract you a bit if you're a person who is hyper-sensitive to those. I didn't find any typing or formatting errors, so the text itself is very clean and consistent. The author has done a fairly good job of proofreading.

Overall, I like it a lot. It's a refreshing novel in a sea of litrpgs and isekais that I personally don't care for.


Saga of the Cosmic Heroes

Too often when I read Science Fiction novels I find myself having to put them down because I'm overwhelmed by endless descriptions of technology that I genuinely don't care about.

With this one, I was actually able to get into the story because I wasn't forced to read about how many ion cannons there are on each side of the ship. There are interesting characters with a lot of personality, and a story that makes sense without having to infodump every other page. Right from the start you're being thrown into an interesting story, and are shown characters that you'll actually find yourself caring about very early on.

 

The grammar is consistently great, and the author has a style that stands apart from everything else I've read on this site. I don't have anything but praise in this regard. When I first started reading this I came across a few mistakes here and there, but the author has since gone back and rewritten a lot of his earlier chapters to make them better. 

If you like Legend of the Galactic Heroes, and space operas in general, you're definitely not going to want to miss this novel. The author also takes the time to include pretty decent illustrations within the chapters, which I find to be a very nice addition. 


The Atropos Schema

I don't have any major faults with this one. I'm not a fan of litrpgs, and as such don't have a lot to compare this too, but it seems decently well done. 

The style is alright, and serves the story well. It's nothing special, but it doesn't need to be. You're given clear and concise descriptions of all of the action taking place, and the dialogue is formatted in a way that makes sense and is very readable. There were a couple grammar mistakes here and there, and a few typing issues, but nothing that distracted me from the story. 

The author has a pretty fun idea with alien factions looking to control the planet for materials. My one complaint is that we don't really get any of the narrative until an info-dump with the fifth chapter. And while it was by no means bad, I wish that it were instead woven into the narrative in a way that felt more natural. 

The two characters we've been introduced to so far are alright. The MC is painfully average, but that appears to be by design, since he was just a random guy who had the misfortune (or fortune?) of being paired with the engimatic Samantha. 

Overall, if you like the litrpg genre you're likely going to want to read this one. 


A Bride in Diyu

A unique story with an interesting idea.

The writing, for the most part, is fine. There are a lot of redundant descriptions and phrasing for the first couple chapters, but the author seemed to hit their stride in the third chapter and delivered a solid chapter with little to complain about. The first two chapters were a little difficult for me to get through, since I found a lot of the descriptions to not add anything to the story, but that's more of a personal preference than a technical fault by the author. 

The story, while not expressed very much in the first few chapters, sounds interesting enough to keep reading. I didn't find anything wrong with the characters, and for the most part they seem to all have their own personalities.

I had to take points off for grammar because there were a decent amount of technical issues. Note to the author: go back through the first couple chapters and look out for splices and unessecary commas, as well as some clauses that absolutely need commas but don't have them.