wag1990

wag1990

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Army of the Fallen

Just started reading this story and reviewing for up to chapter 9 Forest of the Fallen.  Great story that suffers from too many POVs in my opinion. Right off the bat within the first two chapters we get two completely unrelated and different POVs. After all is said and done at this point there are 4 distinct POVs with some random 1 chapter POVs from random and throw away character.  I personally prefer the Fallen point of view but that's just me.

There are some minor apostrophe problems with the apostrophes either being used wrongly or missing when needed. There are also instances where the wrong word is used, along with some minor spelling errors. The story is still completely readable and I'm pointing these out to help the Author.

 

I just want to say that this story is great and you should really give it a try. All these things that I have pointed out don't affect the story. Just trying to help jaxobel grow.