The premise is hook worthy and if that tickles your interest you'll probably stick along.
However, there are some pretty glaring flaws in the story telling. The character interactions do not feel very real at all and come off flat. Which is honestly the reason why I cannot read past chapter 10. This may get better as the story goes on, but it was immersion breaking enough for me to stop reading.
Pacing is also pretty wonky. In that world building is not slowly coming together to build a coherent picture, but instead hurtling toward you screeching to build a pile of mush.
Grammar is spot on and there is absolutely no issue there.
This is not a bad story, but there is definetly some work needed to be done to polish it up. Keep on writing though author as I do not want to discourage you and these flaws usually vanish along with experience and mindfullness.
This story like few on this site off a sense of depth. You can tell immediately that the author put some actual thought into the world they are creating. This is an original project not just some copy paste dungeon core story with a twist to pretend to be original.
This is an actual memorable story. The side characters have not faded into obscurity. The world is not bland. The sentence fragments are used well like a drop of water flicked to punctuate a paragraph. The plot and interaction between protagonist and anatagonist are first of all believable, but also exciting and interesting.
The only thing negative, but that could just be a me thing, is that the actual dungeon is somewhat forgetable and obscure. I dont have clear imagery of it. There is moss and mushrooms and whole ecosystems, etc etc. But everytime an adventure goes through it I find it hard to envision the scale and actual scenery of the dungeon. I have no idea how big this place actually is. At times it seems small and claustrophobic, but then all of a sudden its massive and wide enough for mass battles. Yet somehow this doesn't really take away from the story for me. Because everything else easily makes up for this.
Very strong hook that leads into an above average story. I definetly recommend this one to any LitRPG fans.
The characters feel very real. Each and everyone we meet has their own life. Even when we only know one for a chapter or a couple paragraphs, the characters we meet have goals and ambitions that do not neccessarily revolve around the MC or are convenietly placed for the MCs benefit if that makes sense.
Grammar is a non issue and scenes do not lack detail, nor are they overdetailed.
Mc has original abilities that are both wonderfully op, but also realistic with their own realistic weaknesses.
The only aspects that make this story anything less than stellar are the Magic system and the sterotypical Rpg world.
The magic is not very magical and doesn't leave me intersted in learning anymore about it, which is darn shame because I love magic.
The world isn't anything we haven't seen before. Dungeons, adventures, mages guild, yadda yaddaa. Monsters are very bland as well, which is another love of mine.
Yet despite these minor faults, I still enjoy this story and believe it is going to attract quite a few followers.
So I've read up to 3.4 and decided to leave a review before I got too lazy. For two reasons. I really have been enjoying this story and it is pretty unique take on an apocalyptic setting. Becuase of these two reasons I wanted to formally put out what I beleive is a slight to this otherwise good fiction.
First and formost is imagery. For the most part, I have good feel of what the characters look like. And I use 'feel' because what descriptions I remember give the barest of essentials to what character looks like. For instance, Bruce is muscely, Blake was blonde haired, and thats pretty much the extent of what I had to use to construct an image of those charcters. Locations are far worse than the charcters and it usually becomes a bit jarring as the characters move around. Notably the world feels to suddenly expand.
Now the last thing is grammar. The story is 100% readable. However, there are frequent errors that are noticeable and break the immersion breifly. Nothing that a dedicated proofreader couldn't fix with some quick skiming. But there is enough that it is something to point out.
With that said I'm looking forward to reading more and hope that the Author improves on these issues as they continue to write.
First of all, I vote Rin as best girl and look forward to what will happen with her in the second arc.
Now im quite tired as i just finished binge reading this (even though i should of been doing something more productive), so i'll just say that this story was worth me possibly not completing some assignments that will potentially effect the rest of my life.
That is all and once again Rin is best, Rin is life.
Came after seeing Tomolone's signature, and I'm really glad i gave this story a chance. Now I'm not one to usually write reviews, but i believe this story deserves it, so here we go!
The first thing i would like to point out for this story is the pace of its world building. Unlike most fictions that i have read recently, Life Magic has its information spread out throughout the chapters in a appropriate manner that eases me into its knowledge. In short, there's no chapter long info dumps that make feel like soldier trudging through a swamp with my rifle overheard just trying to make it to the other side.
The characters are excellent, and even though later on the perspective shifts from the MC to other relevant characters, they too also grip my attention and leave me wanting to know more on how they will affect the story. I love Jessica's character development, and felt that i grew with her because my contempt towards her sister, whom is a big B, eased as Jessica matured after the time skip.
The only thing at this time that i feel needs fixing is some of the chapters with font colors that are difficult to read. However, i did bypass the color issue by copying the text into word and changing the color, but i shouldn't have to do that just to be able to read the story easily.
Otherwise, this story is great and is a must read for this site, and I look forward to continuing to follow it! :3
This is the first story that i have read on this site and i binge read this all the way to B2 Chapter 10. The character development in the beginning was very interesting. Especially seeing Kaidus a reincarnated being growing accustomed to the changed world. However i also loved seeing the father slowly getting past his fears of kaidus and became a proud father. Also as many have said before me the grammar throughout the story is excellent making the story east to read.
The only thing that i haven't really jumped onboard with in the story is the romance. Even though Kaidus is not reciprocating any of the feelings that are being thrown his way. It simply comes off odd to me when reading about the young girls feelings towards him and all the descriptions of them seem unnecessary to me. While some description is necessary to get an idea of them as they grow older, but it seems a little excessive. Then again this could be the effect of binge reading and maybe i was overloaded with the descriptions of about blossoming bosoms today.
All in all i really enjoyed the story and the only negative thing i see is so far a very minor part of the story.