Overall: the story's setting seems to fit the narrative and the characters interact very believably. Aside from some minor pacing issues at the start, I thoroughly enjoyed the progress the plot was making each chapter.
Style: Third person omniscient narration fits the novel well. It let's you really get into the thoughts and feelings of the charcters
So far seems like a pretty page-turning start to a great xuanhuan. The plot seems to always be progressing forward at a believable pace, which makes it a pleasurable read.
Grammar: nothing too noticeable so I'd say its good grammar!
Character: The characterization is very well done, bravo author. I look forward to the twins' relationship developing more!
So, barely getting into the story, I can already tell this is going to be really good. The style is pretty unique compared to other stuff I've read. Grammar is not an issue and the story concept setting and characters are all great.
Style: Whenever I read, I really appreciate consistency in someone's style and narrative voice. This novel holds true to those two principals and shouldn't change. It's near-perfect for me!
Grammar: I noticed zero mistakes or wording issues here. I'm not an English major so I could be missing some untold rules of grammar. However, nothing pulled me out of reading this great story.
Story: I am rarely new to LitRPG so I think I have a unique perspective. The gates are an interesting concept used to provide an enticing conflict. I can't go too in-depth without spoiling so please give it a shot.
Character: The MC alone could carry any story! Luckily for this MC the story doesn't need carrying so their greatest character traits shine through. Not to mention the side characters that are extremely organic and believable. The interactions I witnessed were very compelling and I want the author to keep doing what they are doing!
Overall: I think the MC is a very loveable character, her interactions with the side cast of characters are always believable no matter the circumstance. The style is very similar to that of JK Rowling, which isn't a bad thing! Lots of dialogue end tags such as "He said (Adverb)" Its not a huge blow against the quality of writing though. The setting so far is very dark and I would advise anyone who is faint of heart to be careful while reading because it tackles some tough subjects.
Style : The style isn't immersion breaking at all. It seems to be very refined even though I personally don't enjoy it all the time. It remains consistent so far, and that's probably the most important aspect to have when it comes to style in writing.
Grammar: No complaints in this department besides some minor typos but who cares really it got the point across.
Story score: Like I said its a very dark narrative that can be troubling to those who react badly to a traumatic narrative. That aside I think the setting fits the story the author is trying to tell, and the plot is cohesive.
Character: The MC is loveable but the other characters feel like they are all just there to be ideologically opposed to the MC. It's not that huge of an issue in this case because of the nature of the plot and setting. I would agree the patriarchy is not a good thing so all of the characters that embody this aspect are rightfully crafted in a bad light. I maybe am looking for more characters that aren't just there for a conflict with the setting and political climate of the story, Maybe later in to the story that will change, but I have to stop here for personal reasons.
This is a lot coming from someone who doesnt usually enjoy LitRPGs! The writer shows the stats without making the story seem like it revolvs around them, which seems to be a rare quality for the genre. I would give it 6 stars if i could def rec!
Style: The author's style seems to be well honed in a way that fits the story. It stays very consistant throughout, so I'm never distracted by a sudden style shift.
Grammar: Pretty much no glaring gramatical errors at all thorught the chapters I've read. Good Job!
Story: Fairly basic premise, but not boring. It's only the beginning so all I've got to read is a setup for the plot. There are no glaring issues like continutiy or anything that can plague the genre you write in so all great in this area.
Character: This is so far the weakest point for me. This is more of a personal reaction to the character. I dont connect with the MC specfifcally but with more character developement I'm sure that will change.
Overall great novel that will become even better as you write!
What else could a man want in a story. Well maybe more monster vore, but I see more coming so thats fine. Honestly I love how dark it seems to be getting as well! Really a guilty pleasure I can't tell my mother about 0.o
Very descriptive of the surroundings throughout the chapters. I think the mc could have some more inner dialogue, but that is just a stylistic choice. There are some grammar issues, however they fade away with each chapter. Good story so far!
Something about the intro paragraph to the story grips my attention. I must say that the premise is really promising as well. Overall I have no problems at all with the story. Sure there are some grammar and style hiccups, but that will all be fixed with practice. You have a fun story on your hands here, please keep writing!
Wow, just wow! I love the way each character talks. It oozes a pompous charm. This is going on my reading list. The world seems interesting and the character have so much chemistry. Also death sounds kind of cute. :)
So number 1 i detest star ratings! So i always give 5 stars if i like it.
I liked the prologue and opening chapter and this novel is going on my reading list
Your characters banter is hilarious at times and the world is interesting! Keep it up!